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Sex and the SafeRide

What’s your Flavor?

By Alexia Summers

I love chocolate in every shape and form. I’ve noticed that even after a large meal, I always have room for chocolate. My hunger for chocolate is insatiable. Sometimes it even makes my boyfriend jealous.

I’m not alone in my craving. Many other women suffer the same fate, especially my girl friends.

One day a male friend of mine shined some new light on the idea. As I savored my chocolate fudge brownie ice cream, he jokingly wondered, “So, if guys tasted like chocolate, would you want to give them head all the time?” I looked up at him with a twinkle in my eye; I’m always in the mood for chocolate.

Thus began the discussion of chocolate-flavored semen. He said he’d heard of some “magic pill” that would alter the taste of semen. I’d never really thought about it before. It doesn’t seem natural to imagine changing bodily secretions with complex chemical formulas; but I’m not in opposition to the idea.

Actually, I quite like it. For once, the men are doing something (taking the pills) in order to please us. And yes, I know they could also have their own motives.

So I began to wonder, does this stuff actually exist? I searched the Internet for “semen pill flavor” and found a few sites offering products that claimed to work. offers a “seminal fluid flavor enhancer” that will “impart a mild citrus, somewhat sweet flavor to male seminal excretion in the mouth.”

But does it actually work?

I vaguely mentioned the idea of seminal enhancer products to a friend who indeed had heard of them. This friend claimed that they do actually work. According to the friend, banana is the best and strongest flavor, but the pills fail to mask the saltiness of semen. Well that’s a step in the right direction.

I next wondered how a woman would go about suggesting this type of thing to her boyfriend. (Ladies, be careful when discussing the subject. We are merely altering the taste, not improving it.) First I thought of my own boyfriend. How would he react when I suggesting enhancing the taste? Men are self-conscious enough as it is about that sort of thing. I certainly wouldn’t want to offend him.

Luckily, I didn’t have to bring it up. Instead the same male acquaintance from before took the liberty of throwing the idea into the ring himself with the help of my cell phone.

Standing before me, my closest guy friend began a conversation about chocolate-flavored semen with my boyfriend on the other end of the line. I prayed he wouldn’t say anything too brash, but you never can tell with adolescent men.

A few seconds later, he handed me the phone. Uh-oh, I thought. Putting the receiver to my ear, I sweetly answered, “Hello honey.” He proceeded with, “What’s this? What do you mean by this?” “Hmm. Oh, nothing. I don’t mean anything. I just thought it was funny. You know, I love chocolate and I love you.”

I gave the phone back to my friend where he quickly eased the tension of the situation by chanting “Schlob on the knob, oooh schlobbing on the knob.”

I never intended to use the semen enhancing products (or suggest that my boyfriend use them). But I was quite curious about them. I never did find any chocolate products in specific, but that doesn’t mean they won’t one day catch my eye.

Plus, there’s no need to limit chocolate in the bedroom simply to seminal enhancers. Maybe one could resort to more traditional methods. I did see a sex game called Strip Chocolate. That might be fun.