NFL Milks Television Contract; Cowboys Are Not ClassyBy Mike Duffy
and Andrew Heitner
San Antonio, Tex.
While munching on tasty tacos down here in the Lone Star State, we offer our thoughts on the Whitaker-Chavez fight in the Dome. Pernell Whitaker ought to get in touch with McGruff the Crime Dog, as he was robbed. Although The Tech scorecard had Whitaker a convincing 117-114 victor, it was not until Sweat Pea twice tapped Chavez in the boys during the sixth round that Pernell took charge of the fight. Whitaker's cat-like quickness kept Chavez off balance and swinging at the air. In front of a pro-Chavez crowd and heeding the lessons from Miami, however, the foreign judges were not about to be followed from the Alamodome in their rented cars, and they declared the bout a draw. Of course the same people who griped about the decision will still shell out 30 clams to see the rematch. Stay tuned.
It's nice to see the NFL milking the networks for every penny they can get here in the final year of their lucrative television deal. How else can you explain the fact that eight teams have byes this week? The idea behind the bye week was to allow teams to get some rest. At least, that was the theory trumpeted by the NFL owners. We know differently. With the exception of Tampa Bay (the boys of the Big Sombrero have been outscored 50-10 in two weeks, thus marking them for a possible appearance in the Race for Futility), who else needs a week off after their second game? Wouldn't this be better after game 12? The owners wouldn't do that, though, because baseball post-season play does not interfere with NFL games during November. The only good by-product of an 18-week regular season is that the extra week off between the conference championships and the Super Bowl has been eliminated.
Our eyes have been on Texas and they have seen how unclassy the management and players of the Cowboys are. First, Jerry Jones breaks a pledge not to negotiate with Emmitt Smith through the press by showing his mug in front of every camera possible. Second, word gets out in The Dallas Morning News that the Cowboys may extend Aikman's contract for $6 million per year, even though Troy has a contract intact for next year, while Smith doesn't even have one for this year. Now, Charles Haley, after the loss to Buffalo, smashed his helmet (not the German one) through a wall and proclaimed that the Boyz couldn't win without a running back. This is no way to express confidence in Derrik Lassic, considering the fact that Smith may be out for the year. Besides, in the Bills-Boyz game we watched, Lassic was not to be blamed for the loss -- it was Kevin Williams and Lin "Crazy Legs" Elliot who blew it.
Prior to this year's expansion, the teams in the National League played 18 games against teams in their division and 12 games versus teams outside it. With the advent of expansion and a balanced schedule, however, teams play 13 games within and 12 outside their divisions. This being the case, it is a sham that both San Francisco and Atlanta can't both be in the playoffs even though they have the two best records in the league and play basically the same schedule as the Phillies. This, of course, will change next year with realignment and the introduction of a wild card. The extra tier of playoffs will extend the schedule to late October. Considering that the Colorado-Houston game on Monday was postponed because of snow, let's hope the Rockies and Brewers don't ever meet in the Fall Classic. Somehow turkey, pumpkin pie, and baseball don't roll right off the tongue.
Menudo's Top 5
5. Notre Dame
No one is close to FSU, hence no second place team in Mendoza's selections.
Let's Argue Fan Top 5
5. Notre Dame
Our guest Top 5 was sent in from Geno Torres '92, our man on The Island, who put a distinctive Southern flavor in his choices.
You Heard It Here First
The NBA will award expansion teams to Toronto, headed by Magic Johnson, and Nashville for the 1995-1996 season.
Where Are They Now?
Women's Tennis Players. Tracy Austin, Carling Bassett, Yvonne Goolagong, Billie Jean King, Andrea Jaeger, Wendy Turnbull, and Virginia Wade.
Mondongo's Hueso de la Semana
A three-way tie this week. 1. To Bobby Bonilla for tripping over second base and separating his shoulder. Lucky for him, he will miss the rest of the Mets' season. 2. To Cedric Pioline for serving a ball into the seats to the right of the court in Sunday's U.S. Open final. 3. To the Harvard grads doubling as judges in the Azumah Nelson vs. Jesse James Leija fight who incorrectly added up their scorecards. The fight was originally given to Nelson, then changed minutes later to a draw.
Race For Futility
This week's award goes to the city of Pittsburgh, whose Steelers and Panthers combined for two losses by combined scores of 90-21 last weekend.
Trivia Question of the Week
The Toronto Blue Jays have had 11 consecutive winning seasons, the most in the majors. Can you name the team with the second most, at 5 seasons? Send answers, comments, and requests for beefcake photos of Tech columnists Duffy and Heitner to email@example.com.
Answer to last week's question: The Texas Longhorns. Kudos to Pete Berger '97 who wins a free set of Tupperware. Please go to the first floor of the Student Center and fill out a credit card application to claim your prize.
Final tally from last week's poll of favorite late-night celebs:
51% David Letterman (the king)
22% Ted Koppel (shocking popularity for the newsman)
15% Beavis and Butthead (should increase when more students get cable)
14% Distributed evenly among Chevy, Jay, and Whoopi
MIT TWIB Notes
Javier Nazario '95 leads the men's water polo team into battle this weekend in West Point, N.Y. for a tournament against the Merchant Marine Academy, UMass-Amherst, Army, and the dreaded Rams of Fordham. Nazario had 7 goals and innumerable assists in games against BC (an 18-15 win) and Brown (a 12-10 loss) last weekend. He also pitched in three more goals in a 13-7 drubbing of the Helsinki Institute of Technology on Monday.
All fans are invited to come Saturday for a double dip of athletic competition, as the men's soccer team takes on Nichols at 11 and the football team tackles Assumption College at 2. The soccer team is coming off a tight 3-1 loss at Norwich last weekend during which the Beavers outplayed the Clams for most of the game. Standout lineman Neil Best registered seven blocks in the football team's narrow 6-0 scrimmage defeat to Salve Regina last Saturday.
Men's Lacrosse practice started up on Wednesday. Look for Hyung Chang '95, Dylan Bruno '94, and Abe Udobot '95 to lead the team.
Sir Vix Picks
MIT 17, Assumption 10: A more experienced Beaver team than last year means a `W' in their first regular season game. BC 34, Northwestern 18: Eagles anxious to get game over early so they can get to Cambridge in time for Greek Week Ball. Patsies 13, Doves 6: Ditka looks bored in studio for NBC; this game is in no danger of waking him up. Boys 27, Bishops 16: No truth to rumor that Jimmy Johnson tried to get Rafael Septien out of prison on weekend furlough to kick for the Boys. Steelers 10, Pussy Cats 3: Cincy players up late all week catching Conan O'Brien's new show. Oilers 17, Lightning Bolts 17: Game ruled a majority decision draw by judges. Chiefs 31, Broncos 27: Several Broncos players caught watching tapes of Seinfeld season premier instead of game films. Speagles 20, Skins 14: Middle East peace treaty nearly torn up when Arafat and Rabin take opposite sides during "Tastes Great/Less Filling" chant in stands.
From Will Scruggs '91 (the Detroit connection): "Did you notice the Lions this past weekend? Their defense is forming well, and with the acquirement of Pat `look how fast it is' Swilling the defensive line is coming together, and even the young guys are performing. Did you notice the fact that for several plays the Lions threw six linebackers on the field and did some real damage? How about that Andre Rison/Tim McKeyer matchup. Rison did get one of his two promised touchdowns, but he just needs to shut up before he gets whooped."
In hockey notes, the Red Wings start camp with a new coach this week. The team finished up the summer break with a golf outing during which, needless to say, Bob Probert stumbled into three fights and spent a total of 12 minutes in the penalty box.
TWIB. Cecil Fielder hit some more RBI's and gained eight pounds -- his base-rolling ability wanes with each ball park frank.
Michigan vs. Washington State this weekend. Sir Vix from the Land in the Middle has a prediction -- the average SAT score on the field at any given time will be . . . 742!