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Let's Argue -- Holyfield Better than Dan and Dave?!

Column by Mike Duffy

and Andrew Heitner

sports columnists

Sometime before midnight tonight, there will be a new heavyweight champion of the world. With the exception of Your Airness, current champion Evander Holyfield is arguably the best athlete in the world (sorry Dan and Dave), but is giving 25 pounds away to Riddick Bowe's pure muscle instead of the extra 45 pounds of Doritos that George Foreman toted around.

At 6' 5'' and 230 pounds, Bowe is more of the prototype for today's heavyweight than is Holyfield, who is a natural Cruiserweight. Holyfield has the uncanny knack of leading with his face, while Bowe is finally an opponent who has the strength and boxing skills to capitalize on this weakness. Besides, in the WWF world of boxing, Bowe and manager Rock Newman bring the personality and "trash talking" mentality needed to encourage fans to fork over $40 a fight; something that has been lacking during Holyfield's reign. Lou Duva can whine, but our money is on Bowe in nine...

Not that Bowe will hold the title for long, of course. The corrupt WBC has already threatened to strip Bowe of the title if he doesn't sign to fight Lennox Lewis within 30 days. We're sure that Bowe is anxious for a rematch of the 1988 Olympic Gold Medal bout (which Bowe lost) and this won't pose a problem (unless the $20 million offered to fight Foreman in China turns out to be a reality), but Bowe should be allowed to fight Lewis on his own terms and not under ultimata handed down by some cigar-smoking beach bum in Latin America.

We subcribe to the notion that titles are won in the ring and not in the back room of an alphabet soup organization. It's bad enough that for every 3 pounds of lard, there is a new boxing weight class (see, for example, Super Welterweight and Junior Middleweight), but to have 3 champions at each level is ludicrous. With this in mind, Tony Tubbs and Tim Weatherspoon should not be referred to as ex-champions just because they held an organization's title. This is similar to saying that the Detroit Drive are football champions of the world because they were Arena Bowl champions...

The days of Eddie "The Eagle" and the Jamaican Bobsled team are numbered. The International Olympic Committee has decided to put in minimum qualifying standards for Olympic "athletes," in an attempt to preserve the standard of competition. The IOC must be working under the auspicies of the NFL owners, as cult heroes and embarassing performances will be eliminated.

It's too bad that the Prince of Monaco and other royals will no longer be able to compete. Their participation in the Games indicates how countries in other parts of the world work, countries in which leisure sports and activities are only available to the privileged few. The Olympics should represent the entire world.

It appears Lawrence Taylor's brilliant career came to an abrupt end on Sunday. The question with Taylor has always been "How good is he?" or "Is he overrated?" He undoubtedly got a lot of ink by playing on two Super Bowl champion teams and by playing in New York, but he deserved all of the accolades. It's difficult to measure statistically the impact of a defensive player; the greatest acknowledgement of Taylor's talents come from the countless number of coaches around the league who have said they devised offensive game plans in order to avoid him.

Taylor redefined the role of the outside linebacker as a full-time pass rusher while commanding double, and even triple, teaming. He passes the torch of dominating linebacker to Kansas City's Derrick Thomas...

Lista de poder de Menudo

1. Miami

2. Michigan

3. Alabama

4. Florida State

5. Western New England

Race for Futility

Patsies: 0 wins

'Doves: 56 points (6.2 ppg)

The bust size of Morganna, "The Kissing Bandit," is larger than the 'Doves point total.

Where are they now?

Heavyweight Boxers

Randall "Tex" Cobb, Jerry Quarry, Renaldo Snipes, Ossie Occasio, Ernie Shavers, George Schuvalo, Jimmy Young, Pinklon Thomas, and Marvis Frazier.

Trivia Question of the Week:

Who were the two heavyweights in the last fight called by Howard Cosell? Send your answers to sports@the-tech.mit.edu.

Answer to last week's question: MIT defeated Western New England College way back on the second weekend of play (yes, this season). Only 8 of the 36 football players who responded got it right. What were you guys watching? The cheerleaders?

MIT TWIB Notes

Despite a losing record, the women's volleyball team is currently ranked 10th in New England...

The men's hoops team has a scrimmage Saturday in "The Cage" at 10am. Come cheer the team on as they play Wentworth Institute...

In a move that has led to many arguments in the Thirsty Ear and Muddy Charles pubs, Football Coach Smith went for the first down last week when MIT had the ball 4th and 1 at Curry's 5. At the time, the score was 13-12 in favor of the bad guys and there were about eight minutes left in the game. Many of you faithful readers have solicited our expert opinion on the subject and now we give it to you - yes, he should have attempted the fumbleroosky we called for way back in the 3rd game of the season...

VIX Pick's

Washington 48, Oregon State 0: Suspended Washington QB Billy Joe Hobert shows up at the game brandishing the guns acquired with some of the $50,000 borrowed from friend's father-in-law, Mr. D. James... Boston College 21, Syracuse 20: Eagles retreat to the friendly confines of Chestnut Hill after bringing disgrace to the city of Boston with their performance in the Holy War. Heck, the Patsies only lost by 17 last week... Patsies 10, Colts 3: Colts kicker Dean Biasucci lines up for game-winning field goal attempt. Wind tunnel caused by a Bob Ryan yawn causes ball to travel backwards, however. Victor Kiam picks it up and rumbles towards the goal line, where he trips over his Patriot missile. Pigskin rolls into the end zone, where Lisa Olson pounces on ball for game winning TD... Raiders 20, Doves 0: Doves jokes are so numerous that they are being catalogued... Eagles 23, Packers 13: Cunningham to wear head band with "McMahon" on it... Norwegian-Americans 26, Oilers 17: FBI rumored to have checked Warren Moon "Over My Hammy's" passport file for signs of lost passing game... Fish 28, Bills 24: Bills don't have the nets to catch Tuna or Dolphins, as Marino and Jackson hook up for the victory... Giants 13, Broncos 10: Broncos 0-3 vs. NFC East this year -- the same as their record vs. NFC East in the Super Bowls...

Last Week: 5-1. Season Record: 24-8.