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Born-Again Man confesses

I've enjoyed reading the cross-debate between MIT Pro-Life and the various people who disagree with them. Here's a recap of the recent debate in case you're just tuning in.

Two issues ago, The Tech received a copy of a letter to Arnold N. Weinberg, head of the MIT Medical Department. The letter requested rebates of the portion of MIT health insurance money being used to fund abortions, for those who wish them. This was a repeat of a request from last February. It was lengthy but intelligent and well-written. More importantly, it was signed by 112 people.

Then, last issue, Tech Managing Editor Daniel A. Sidney G wrote a column in response. It was intelligent, succinct, and very convincing. The Graduate Student Council then announced that it will be discussing a proposal to prevent the abortion rebates from starting.

Now, in this very issue, you can see two more letters to the editor, one for the abortion rebate, one against. Both are very well argued, but it seems to me that we've come to an impasse in the debate.

I agree with MIT Pro-Life, at least, to a certain degree. I think the only problem with the group's proposal is that they don't go far enough. They only try to tackle one topic, abortion. What they ignore is that, there are other issues which cause moral dilemmas.

I'm willing to throw my support to Pro-Life, providing that they are willing to back me on an issue which causes me a grand moral dilemma. This issue, ugly as it may be, is gynecology.

I haven't had a gynecological exam in years. No, I'm not ashamed to admit this. In fact, I'm proud. I suppose there are many men among us who have had gynecological exams, but are still ashamed of it. I hold it up proudly as a symbol of my newfound masculinity that I have overcome the temptation of a gynecological examination. Yes, I am a born-again Man.

There are some of you men out there who continue to sin against your manhood. I can see you now, slipping in to some obscure ob/gyn office to have a quick exam with a doctor, hoping the guys back home won't find out somehow.

You probably feel a deep, hidden shame about your secret desire to slip on one of those tasteful robes and undergo a full exam. Well, brothers, I understand. I've been there, and it wasn't pretty.

Now that I've been a born-again Man for a few years, I can talk about those days of hedonism. So I suppose you can imagine my intense anger at being told that a portion of my MIT insurance money is going to fund gynecological examinations!

I am a man. I am proud to be a man, and I stand by all the principles of manhood. As a man, I am opposed to any man, including myself, having a gynecological exam.

Naturally I wouldn't try to impose these beliefs on any other group. I mean, how could you possibly take a belief of your own and impose it on all other groups like that? It would be terrible to do. So if people who believe in the tenets of womanhood (i.e., women) want to continue to have gynecological examinations, I will not object.

However, I want an optional refund of that portion of MIT insurance money which goes toward gynecological exams. I do not have such exams, and I disagree with the concept of men having them.

I consider the idea of men having a gynecological exam akin to medieval torture, or even murder. (You draw the mental picture yourself.) I cannot condone such activities and want that portion of my money back.

I can hear the abortion opponents now. "Wait," they'll cry, "gynecological exams are not akin to the murder of an abortion!"

"Oh, yeah," I answer, "well, any man who has had one will tell you, it's murder! Hell, most women will tell you that

it's murder. So there you go."

A plan similar to this existed for many years

at all-male universities without inducing "chaos." Then, of course, we had to be fair and right and all that stuff and let women have an equal opportunity. So now we are left with the bitter debate about whether we should all pay for the gynecology of the minority.

So, MIT Pro-Life, carry on with your brave quest. I wish you luck in your struggle and I hope you will help me with mine. I also promise that I will give you much more "help," such as this column, should the fight continue.


Tech Associate Opinion Editor Bill Jackson '93 has already destroyed the negatives of all the existing photos showing him in compromising gynecological positions.