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Ask Nutty B!

By Bruce Wu
STAFF COLUMNIST

Nutty B is currently a graduate student at MIT who tries to give his two cents worth to his readers’ questions regarding anything and everything. Please e-mail him with whatever question you would like someone to listen to, and help him have an excuse to procrastinate at 3:00 a.m. Please send all questions to askNuttyB@yahoo.com

Dear Nutty B,

From the last issue of The Tech I read about what you did to Mr. Melvin. I thought it was brilliant and I almost laughed my pants off. Here is a question for you: What do I do with all the junk mail I get from different credit card companies? I get so much everyday and I am so sick of reading them and throwing them away!

—Bill

Dear Bill,

I hope you were kidding about your pants being off. I mean, if I don’t get to see something so kinky and scandalous, no one else around the Infinite Corridor should either.

Also, you really read the credit card company junk? I remember when I was your age (I think there were still dinosaurs wandering around then), I read each of them, cursed each of them, and threw away each of them. But now I know better! Every time you want to throw away mail with your personal information on it, I’d highly recommend you to either shred or rip it into really small pieces so no one can pick up your info on the street. The last thing you want is for the guy going through trash every Thursday morning to know your birthday, address, social security number, and the fact that you were interested in Playboy or Playgirl!

Now the fun part: What do you do with the content of the junk? Britney Spears’s “I’m Not That Innocent” has inspired me to play naughty with those who annoy me. I usually collect all the coupons that I don’t need and all the commercial flyers and stuff them all in a prepaid envelope and return them to the credit card company. I’ve started to believe that the people opening those tons of envelopes everyday might have gotten sick of reading card applications and finding out there are turkey sales at Star Market. Just make sure you don’t return anything with your information on it.

It really works. I have been doing this for a year now, and I don’t really get anything from any credit card company anymore. My new roommate who just moved in a few weeks ago, on the other hand …

Dear Nutty B,

I am a new student at MIT from Canada. I had a perfect credit history back home, but now I can’t even get a simple credit card. This is so frustrating, as I don’t want to use my Canadian credit card to pay for my expenses here. What should I do to get a credit card here?

—Leigh

Dear Leigh,

My dear fellow Canadian, I hear thy pain! I also had the same problem when I first got here (again, dinosaurs still roamed the Earth then). What a coincidence that Bill (see above) has the opposite problem! Perhaps you can somehow exchange identities with him?

It’s no biggie really. Trust me! In a few months your question to me will be how to get rid of all the “preapproved applications” from Capital One. In the mean time, you can request your credit report from Canada. Some of the banks here would consider your credit history from back home, and that might help. Also, start with something small. There are places where you can get a student credit card. A credit limit of $100 probably won’t do you any good, but start with that and build your credit history. (That probably means you will have to use some other form of payment for your illegal activities, but that’s another story...)

In a few months you can always request a limit increase or apply for other cards. Also, you should look into the checkcard options in some banks. Those cards will allow you to purchase items with a debit card, rather than a credit card, but it is convenient. Hang in there and start with something small! Just remember to pay your bills and maintain that good credit history of yours here, and in no time you will be a member of the elite club, in which every member is pre-approved for every credit card on Earth every f&!$ing day!