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Ask Nutty B!

By Bruce Wu
STAFF COLUMNIST

Nutty B is currently a graduate student at MIT who tries to give his two cents’ worth on anything and everything. You know the drill! Please e-mail him with any questions, and give him an excuse to procrastinate at 3 a.m. Send all questions to askNuttyB@yahoo.com.

Dear Nutty B,

I have a crush on my professor. I think I find him attractive, but am confused and not sure what I should do. Should I get over it? Should I bring it up? How do I tell if he’s even interested? Is it wrong for a guy to like his professor? Do you have any advice for me?

—Z Z

Dear Z Z,

Asking me that question is like asking me if it’s normal to like turkey, chicken, or beef! Of course it’s normal to find someone attractive, same gender or not. Why else do you think people would sign up for the Nutty B fan club?

Is it wrong for a guy to like his professor? No. Should you bring it up? No! Confessing your true feelings and making your professor potentially scream and run away before you get your final grade is never a good idea. I am all about subtlety. If you have been trained like a true Geisha (or are simply as good as I am), then you can stop him with one look. If not, don’t dread yet, since we’ve learned from Elle Wood in Legally Blonde that there’s always the “bend and snap” trick. Trust me! If both fail, then, my dear, you are doomed!

My advice for you, as cruel as it is realistic, is to give it up. Get over it! I am sure someone more suitable for you and without all the complications will come. Heck, being the chocolate whore that I am, if you bring me enough chocolate, I might even let you stalk me!

Dear Nutty B,

I met this girl last summer when I was on vacation in China. I was single at the time, and we had a blast together. Since I came back during the past year I had a girlfriend, but we broke up a few months ago. The problem is that since the breakup I can’t stop thinking about this girl from China and the great time we had. I even want to fly over just to see her. What do I do? Am I crazy?

—Heart broken

Dear Heartbroken,

What’s going on? Why is everyone in love with everyone else these days? In one week I’ve got God only knows how many letters regarding this issue. Is it something in the air? If so, why has it given you people all these feelings but given me only allergies?

Do I think you should fly over just to see her, hoping to get back the good time you two had together? No. However, do I think you should fly over to see her, hoping to get away from this place and have yourself a good vacation? Yes. See the difference in expectation? The former is trying to get back something that has happened in the past, and the latter is trying to give yourself a break. Giving yourself a break is a great idea, but flying thousands of miles away for something totally unrealistic is not. Yeah, yeah, I know you’re a hopeless romantic, but get over it! Well, it depends on what you are looking for, I suppose. If you are only trying to get a summer fling, as much as it goes against my moral principles, I would have to say I see nothing wrong. However, if you want to relive that experience in paradise, I would have to tell you that you might be disappointed.

I think you are merely exhibiting post-breakup symptoms. Why don’t you let it all sit for a while and let time heal some of the wounds? Also, in the meantime, try to talk to this girl from China if you can (if you haven’t already, get an IM account!). Perhaps through these conversations when you are not in a “vacation mode,” you will see her differently, thereby preventing you from doing something silly. Good luck!