Gaggle Cops 125th Tech Managing Board Elections
SPECIAL TO THE TECH
CORRECTION TO THIS ARTICLE: The Sept. 1 version of this article omitted the election of Brian D. Hemond G to the position of photography editor on Dec. 4, 2004. gaggle, n.
• A flock (of geese); also derisively, a company (of women). One of the many artificial terms invented in the 15th c. as distinctive collectives referring to particular animals or classes of persons; but unlike most of the others, it seems to have been actually adopted in use.
c1470 in Hors, Shepe & G. etc. (Caxton 1479, Roxb. repr.) 30 A gagyll of ghees A gagyll of women. 1584 R. Scot Discov. Witchcr. XIII. xxx. 338 A shoale of goslings, or (as they saie) a gaggle of geese. 1676 Coles, A Gagle of geys, a flock of Geese. 1827 P. Hawker Diary (1893) I. 309 A gaggle of more than average chattering women. 1882 Sir R. Payne-Gallwey Fowler in Irel. v, That last tempting gaggle of Brent Geese.
• Also transf., a group of people or things, esp. a disorderly assemblage; spec. (slang) a group of aircraft.
1946 G. Gibson Enemy Coast Ahead 206 We started off first in squadrons, then in wings and finally in a sort of formation known as a group gaggle, meaning a flock of geese. 1946 E. C. Cheesman Brief Glory vi. 73 Ferry pilots had to fly in ‘gaggles’ to make it easier for the Observer Corps. 1956 J. E. Johnson Wing Leader i. 13 We curved across Berlin, sparred cautiously with large gaggles of Russian fighters. 1966 Listener 8 Sept. 354/1 There is hardly a modern skyscraper in midtown that does not have its gaggle of sightseers. 1971 Islander (Victoria, B.C.) 21 Mar. 14/3 A gaggle of sparsely inhabited islands.
• to cop a feel: to fondle someone in a sexual manner, esp. furtively.
1935 A. J. Pollock Underworld Speaks 25/2 Cop a feel, a presumptuous man, who will not let his hands behave when with an attractive girl. 1937 M. Levin Old Bunch 46 Boy, I’d like to cop a feel off that little one. 1943 M. Shulman Barefoot Boy with Cheek 77 ‘Sure you don’t want to cop a feel?’ she said suspiciously. 1972 G. Lukas et al. Amer. Graffiti (film script) 14 Couldn’t even cop a feel. 1988 J. Ellroy Big Nowhere (1994) iv. 43 Danny was grateful she wasn’t around to make goo-goo eyes and poke his biceps, copping feels while the watch sergeant chuckled. 2002 Independent (Electronic ed.) 11 June 19 Pretending to be a dear old boy, he gets close enough to the court ladies to cop a feel.
• slang. a. trans. U.S. (now chiefly in African-American usage). To gain the affection or favour of (a person, esp. a woman), to seduce; (also) to have a sexual or romantic encounter with. Also with off.
1899 G. Ade Doc’ Horne xviii. 211 He’d give up his coin an’ copped the princess. 1912 A. H. Lewis Apaches of N.Y. ii. 41 A goil would be a mutt…to stay cocked up at home. An’ yet a goil couldn’t go chasin’ around be her lonesome. Alma…you must cop off another steady. 1925 T. Boyd Points of Honor v. 139 An’ boy, did I cop her off! Well, did I! 1935 J. T. Farrell Judgment Day I. i. 5 He might have made girls from all over the country… And if he had, the fellows would…say…, I see where Studs Lonigan copped off a bim whose old man is lousy with dough. 1965 in W. King Black Anthol. 302 It don’t take too long to cop Gloria.
• b. intr. Brit. (a) to cop on (to or with) (now rare): to (seek to) associate with, as a companion. (b) to cop off (with): to (succeed in) becoming acquainted or friendly (esp. amorously); (also) to have a sexual encounter. Cf. to get off s.v. GET v. 70k.
1940 N. & Q. 3 Aug. 79/1 Cop on, to associate one’s self with, to make overtures with a view to companionship. ‘You needn’t try to cop on.’ ‘I saw you copping on to her in the lane.’ Or ‘cop on with.’ Most often it had a slightly derogatory sense. 1986 Q Oct. 96/3 Then he cops off with Alda’s girlfriend. 2000 TV Quick (Central Region) 13-19 May 7/2 She feels so alone when she sees people her own age copping off.
• c. intr. U.S. (chiefly in African-American usage). To engage in sexual or amorous activities of any nature, from kissing to sexual intercourse; to have a sexual encounter.
1965 H. Huncke Huncke’s Jrnl. 13 He constantly speaks of the size and shape of everybody’s ass and will exclaim in positive terms—‘Man—I got to cop’ each time he sees an ass which especially excites him. 1976 R. E. Chinn Dig Nigger Up 130 For over ten years Leo had tried…to bed Mary without paying for it… ‘I might not cop the next time I see her, but believe me I’m going to cop and I ain’t going to pay!’
source: Oxford English Dictionary
And so it was, the horror was so unspeakable and atrocious that it dragged out over three day-long meetings over the course of six months, not to be reported upon until another four months later.
It lurked and it oozed, flowing through the corridors and environs of W20-483, spreading its noxious thin film and leaving behind a gruesome trail of bodies and parts of bodies in its wake.
Nov. 4, 2004
Remember, remember, the fourth of November, when Hangyul “peaches on paper plates!” Chung ’05 retreated early from the gavel, never to return. On this day, the one before Guy Fawkes’, Jina “where’s your binder?” Kim ’06 assumed the mantle of chairman.
Dec. 4, 2004
One month to the day later, the gaggle was back in spades, digging deeply into the gravel and manure of journalism. In the epic battle for the helm of editor in chief, “why?” Kathy Lin ’06 claimed victory.
Agreeing to work only on commission, and for a limited time only, Jeffrey “i’m still growing” Chang ’08 solidly pulled himself into the position of Advertising Manager. Another addition to the business department, Jennifer “why do we call this Opsman?” Wong ’07 was unanimously declared operations manager.
Continuing the decision to not Feature our Campus in the paper, but to instead Live in it, Zach “loud, funny, or hungry — pick two!” Ozer ’07 prevailed in the battle against the ghost of Akshay Patil ’04 for campus life editor.
In a misbegotten belief that “Words are for Losers” doesn’t apply to people who push words around rather than dream them up, Austin “i am a Pok mon!” Chu ’08 and Michael “LONGER? LONGER? I’ll give you LONGER! With hyphenation and justification!” McGraw-Herdeg ’08 both achieved the stupendous rank of production editor. When they turned around to see the state of their crushed opponents, though, they had some difficulty finding them.
Kevin “my desk is cleaner than a newborn’s skin” Der ’06 will be this year’s defense against the dark Arts instructor, by unanimous consent.
Completing the business department, who locked the embezzlement of years past into the dungeon, Lucy “banquets extraordinaire” Li ’06 ascended to business manager.
Senior Citizens of The Tech were reluctantly tolerated, and Christine “no longer a small” Fry ’05, V “i changed my name from Jennifer” Krishnan ’04, Keith J. “hit me baby one more time!” Winstein G, and Satwiksai “Where’s Satwik and Frank’s Journal?” Seshasai G joined their esteemed ranks.
Supervising the Production department, Tiffany “that joke wasn’t funny, Keith” Dohzen ’06 emerged as managing editor.
The Gossip department elected to fail to elect an bereditor, but allowed that Marissa “get out the” Vogt ’06, Jenny “all mine — you no touch — please” Zhang ’06, Beckett “nyu Sterner school of business” ’06, and Kelley “with ease” Rivoire ’06 might be permitted to lead their department by way of rotating jousts as news editors.
Ruth “if you spin it, you’ll get grain” Miller ’07 drove hard to reign over page four as Opinion Editor.
Vivek “oh, pinions” Rao ’05, who had previously picked up two extra hyphens, gave one to Brian “run, run, and i will give” Chase ’06, and they both traded them in for the position of sports editor.
In the belief that a Web site is the very core of a newspaper, Jonathan T. “money is power” Wang ’05 agreed to direct all Technology, for good or for ill.
Lastly, though most couldn’t be bothered to attend, the managing board chose to retain the following individuals in an advisory capacity: Jyoti “just use acetone” Tibrewala ’04, Peter “antitrust” Peckarsky ’72, Paul E. “saxophone for grade eight” Schindler ’74, V. Michael “Junior” Bove ’83, Robert E. “shyster” Malchman ’85, Deborah “no longer token!” Levinson ’91, B.D. “f.h.j.” Colen, Barry “i report directly to Pinch” Surman ’84, Jonathan “they bow to me!” Richmond PhD ’91, Nathan “everyone wears bow-ties in Palo Alto” Collins SM ’03, Ian “i never embezzled!” Lai ’02, Rima “med school” Arnaout ’02, Eric J. “no more PuPu!” Cholankeril ’02, Saul “alas, my Desknet is gone” Blumenthal ’98, and Ryan “bbq” Ochylski ’01.
April 30, 2005
Somehow believing that 29 days were sufficient to protect them from foolery, various members of the managing board chose to depart their positions and run for the hills, leaving those remaining to try to fill their size 27 shoes.
Michael “p.” McGraw-Herdeg ’08 dominated the production department and was “rewarded” as managing editor.
Shreyes “i’m better/faster/smarter than my brother” Seshasai ’08 agreed to take The Tech into the 21st century as Technology Director. n.b.: this means leaving the 19th century.
Tiffany “if you snooze, you lose” Dohzen ’06 accepted a demotion to night editor, allowing for a smooth transition. It’s as if she didn’t believe that crises were the way to build power.
Kathy “now I am one year older!” Lin ’05 declared an intention to Contribute to Editing of the paper, and all acceded.
Joining the Rowling rage, Jacqueline “eviscerate the man-eating pineapples” O’Connor ’06 was elected an arts editor.
Yi “are there two w20-483c clubs?” Wang ’08 accepted the position of advertising manager.
Kelley “i dream in tech style” Rivoire ’06 emerged victorious as editor in chief.
Putting to rest the idea that the best pix come from one man alone, Yun “i do not like the Jobo” Wu ’06 and Omari “Lance Armstrong” Stephens ’08 are the new photography editors.
They will do it all again in four months.