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Sex and the Saferide

Better with Age

By Danchai Mekadenaumporn

Features Columnist

So you want to sleep with Mrs. Robinson?

As enticing as that sounds, it may end up being trickier than you would’ve thought. Traditionally, younger women seek out older men because of things that usually come with age: intelligence, financial stability, and maturity. These relationships are also less taboo because younger women date older men all the time. I remember someone telling me once that it was okay as long as she was half your age plus seven.

When it comes to young men and older women, though, relationships are less common for many reasons. Since many women are seeking stability by the time they’re in their late twenties, they usually aren’t looking at younger men, especially college guys, for fulfillment. I’m also sure that not many college-aged guys are going after older women.

Why? Let’s face it. If women are looking for older men, then girls are looking for college guys.

Before we discuss how to date someone older than you, let’s weigh the pros and cons.

I’ve already discussed a couple of the cons: you aren’t in their target age range and it’s not as common. Older women may also be carrying a lot of baggage. Hell, if I was divorced with a couple of kids, I might be carrying baggage, too. Not to mention credit card debt, failed relationships, and a propensity to hate men. Many college men are not equipped to be that kind of baggage-handler. Many people also believe that it’s easier for an older woman to manipulate a younger man in a relationship. If you’re used to being in power, maybe this isn’t the right thing for you.

I’ve probably scared off most of you by now, but the brave few who remain can benefit from the rest of the column. The pros of dating an older woman can be worth the trouble.

Those that have recently been divorced may be looking to have some fun with no strings attached. She may tend to be more open-minded because she’s seen it all, and she knows what she likes. She’s already gone through the maturity process that high school and college girls are still going through. She may be looking at you and seeing a man who doesn’t need Viagra, Cialis, or anything else to satisfy her needs.

Did I mention that an older woman also has experience? I won’t say how much or in what areas, but I’m sure a college-aged guy can imagine those things for himself. She may also see you as a trophy boyfriend; Demi Moore shows off Ashton Kutcher all the time. But then again, you’re probably far from being handsome, rich, or a celebrity, so we can just throw that idea in the recycle bin.

If you’re intent on getting an older woman, then you may have to think like an older man. You’ll have to hit all the hotspots intended for twenty-five to thirty-somethings -- or you could visit your local nursing home if you’re that desperate. As much as many of your friends can appreciate your toilet humor, it won’t bag you someone ten years older than you.

You wouldn’t want to give away your age up-front, because although they may be open-minded, they may also have to warm up to the idea of a younger man. You’ll have to dazzle her with your charm, let her pick at that MIT brain of yours, and show her that although you’re only eighteen, you act like a man who’s forty -- except in bed. This is probably where youth is your most valuable asset.

If you’ve read this far, then you’re either really intent on dating an older woman or you’re procrastinating on your work. In either case, I can’t really say if that’s good or bad, but you’ll have to make the decision for yourself. Hopefully you’ll get what you want.

By Alex Nelson

FEATURES columnist

The majority of women find a certain appeal to dating older men. When we’re still in our teens, we look to older men to make us feel more mature and independent. If we’re underage, that special someone can take us out, get us into clubs and bars, and, most importantly, get us alcohol.

If we’re looking for something a little more serious, an older man can provide a greater sense of security. He has a full-time job and a place of his own. To a younger woman, this stability is quite appealing. An older man may have control of his life. He knows what he wants and how to get it. He’s already found himself, now he just needs to find you.

You may ask yourself: why does an older man turn to a younger woman? That’s a complicated question. A man might fall for a woman who just happens to be younger. On the other hand, some men actively seek out younger women who still hold the beauty of youth and vivacity of girlhood. But remember ladies: beauty is ephemeral. A man who is attracted to you only for your looks or youth will soon leave you behind for someone even younger.

How can you identify the intentions of an older man? It can be difficult at first, as it is in all relationships. Obvious signs that he cares about you are introducing you to his friends, taking you out on dates, expressing interest in meeting your friends, and actually meeting them. If you have an open relationship, chances are that his interest is sincere.

If you find that your man is truly interested in you for who you are, then kudos to you for winning him over. But keep in mind that there is still a lot to overcome. Dating someone of a different age presents many challenges. It is often hard to relate to one another, especially when you find yourselves at different stages in your lives. You will each have different goals and responsibilities. If these goals do not coincide, it’s often difficult to proceed as a couple.

Make sure you are aware of his intentions and he is aware of yours. How serious is your relationship? Where is it headed? Are you pursuing a fun spring fling or are you digging for the diamond? Whatever you desire, make it known.

But not all older men are sincere. If your man avoids being seen with you in public or introduces you as a friend while failing to mention any romantic interest or commitment, flashing lights should go off in your head. For those of us finding ourselves in this position, all hope is not lost. Although not all older men will be comfortable with a younger woman, there is still plenty of room for fun. Despite his attraction to you, an older man may not be looking for the woman of his dreams. He may just see you as a fun and flirtatious female to romp with and recollect his college years.

At first this may sound like a hideous position to be in, but consider the benefits of dating an older man. His extra years give him additional experience in relationships and life. This may mean two things: (1) they know how to get what they want from you, and (2) they have more experience in the bedroom.

This could help or hurt you depending on what you want from them. If you don’t mind being an older man’s sex kitten, take him... and take him again. But remember that this relationship is based solely on lust or, more plainly, sex. He might buy you nice things -- you gold digger, you -- but do not forget what he expects in return. The moment you enter into this type of “relationship,” you are accepting the fact that you’re using each other for sex (or maybe you want his money). At any rate, do not get emotionally attached.

Above all, these older men have been through more of life’s problems. They have already dated around -- they know what they want. A select few know how to treat a woman right, mostly because they’ve already been trained. If you find yourself pursuing an older man, make sure you know what you want out of it before you get in too deep. Older men come in different flavors, so depending on your mood, why not try one today?