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Ask Nutty B

By Nutty B
COLUMNIST

Nutty B is currently a graduate student at MIT. Please e-mail him with whatever question you would like someone to listen to, and help him have an excuse to procrastinate at 3 a.m. Please send all questions to askNuttyB@yahoo.com.

Dear Nutty B,

This is my response to your column on Oct. 10. I object your view that “those grad students who have been here for ten years and still go to the office everyday to browse the Web should perhaps worry.”

Firstly, it’s NONE of your &*&&!!!@ business.

Secondly, there are people hanging around MIT that long for reasons other than you monolithically opined. Some unfortunately have non-academic personal issues to deal with and it takes ten years to snap out of it. Now to redeem your columnist sin, go and watch “A Beautiful Mind” ten times until you repent of the erroneous notions in your head! Or I’ll remember what you said when I still see you on MIT campus ten years from now -- I assure you I’ll still be here writing my thesis.

-- One of them

Dear One of Them,

Objection overruled! Irrelevant argument!

The key is the word “perhaps.” Nutty B argued that if one has been in school doing NOTHING BUT browsing the Internet for ten years, then he or she should PERHAPS worry. He never mentioned one should worry if he or she has already spent ten years at MIT.

Also, of course it’s Nutty B’s &*&&!!!@ business. You see, Nutty B is currently running for Mr. Congeniality and “world peace” is what he hopes for. He can sense your force is highly disturbed and he has summoned Master Yoda to give you a proper training on anger management.

Thank you for the suggestion to watch “A Beautiful Mind” ten times. However, I have already watched it 11 times, and I would like to call my imaginary roommate to stand as a witness.

Although I do not see the relevance of the movie to your question, I see it as an opportunity to watch it another ten times. You are cordially invited to join me for all ten sessions.

Finally, our misunderstanding aside, would you be such a darling and be nice to my kid in ten years when you become his TA here? I promise you I will visit you once a while and to send you a copy of “A Beautiful Mind” when I graduate.

Anyway, I guess you already have too much of my overdose on “Law and Order” from this column. Case closed.

Dear Nutty B,

I am lonely and I want to date. However, I am too shy to ask anyone out in real life. I have heard of online dating. Do you think I should sign up?

-- High-Tech Love

Dear High-Tech Love,

Online dating is not really my field of expertise. However, if you do find it very difficult for yourself to meet people in daily life, perhaps the Internet provides another means for you. Just be careful, though. www.iamonly18.com is not really site created for ideal dating, neither is www.iamamaleescort.com.

Choose carefully in what you are looking for and be cautious at first not to give out all your personal information to the other party are always good rules of thumb.

If one of the profiles on whatever online dating site you are browsing does net you someone that catches your attention, it will not hurt to send him/her a line and go from there. Good luck and let us know how it goes.