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Interview: Playboy Playmates

The Playmates Discuss Geeks, Monkeys, and the Mansion

By Udhay Krishnan

It's 9:00 a.m. I'm still unshowered, barely awake, and standing in the center of my room. I walk barefoot through my disheveled floor, littered with pizza boxes, problem sets, and beer cans, trying to remember if there was a legitimate reason for why my frat brothers came into my room and made me chug 151 at 3:00 a.m.

Sound familiar? I'm sure it's a lot of people's Saturday morning. However, this Saturday was to be fantastically different, for through the powers that be, I had arranged for an interview with three Playboy Playmates at this year's Collegefest.

A thousand questions ran through my head as I got dressed and made my way to the Hynes Convention Center. These were the golden questions, the ones that you would dream of asking a Playmate if you only got the chance. The ones that Howard Stern can ask so nonchalantly every morning.

Little did I know that two hours later I would be standing right across from three stunningly beautiful women, and such questions would be completely forgotten, as if that part of my mind (controlled by my penis) had shut down.

I had no doubt that they were willing to answer any question I would ask, but it became infinitely uncomfortable for me to ask questions concerning body parts, anal sex, and threesomes. The 300-pound bouncer that accompanied them during the interview didn't exactly strengthen the undertaking, either.

Nonetheless, it was still an interesting experience to have a regular conversation with Playmates.

The Tech: So what are you guys going to be doing here today?
Stephanie Heinrich (October 2001): Well, basically we're here to sign autographs, give away a bunch of free stuff, and meet fans.
Lauren Michelle Hill (April 2001): And steal some free stuff too.
TT: What did you guys do before you worked for Playboy?
Heinrich: I was studying at the University of Cincinnati and got noticed during one of the Playboy college searches.
Hill: I was at the University of Southern California.
Alicia Burley (Cyberclub Girl): I still do real estate and I used to work for a computer company.
TT: Alicia, you are from Boston. What do you think of MIT?
Burley: MIT, hmm it's great.
TT: It's OK. You can say we suck
Burley: You suck.
TT: Yeah, we do. But anyway, what is the mansion like? I'm assuming you have all been there.
Heinrich: It's a lush, beautiful place, first off. When there is a party, it's like everything you have heard. Everyone lets go and it usually is an amazing time. The girls get to hang out together. There are great people to meet and interesting things going on. But where there is no party, everything is quite peaceful and laid back. It's just a place to relax.
Burley: Yeah, it's not like there is a party every day of the week with girls running around naked.
TT: Don't ever say that.
Hill: The monkeys there are really nice too.
TT: Monkeys?
Hill: Yeah, there is a really nice petting zoo there. They have really beautiful peacocks, rabbits and monkeys. It can be really fun.
TT: Besides posing in the magazine, what else are you required to do under your contract with Playboy?
Burley: Right now, I am part of Cyberclub. I started out as a cyber girl of the week on playboy.com. Now I am cyber girl of the month.
TT: What is Cyberclub exactly?
Burley: Cyberclub is basically a competition on the Internet for girls to compete to be Playmates. The winners basically take on the responsibilities of Playmates.
Hill: That basically entails a lot of work and promotional stuff arround the country. It can be really tiring at times.
TT: I bet. In preparation for this interview, I basically did a Google search on all of you and got back a bunch of links.
Heinrich: Sicko.
TT: This is true. Anyway, do you think that the Internet has unfairly connected you with the porn industry?
Burley: I wouldn't say it is the Internet as a whole to blame. The Internet has been a great place for us to get our name out. It9s where I have started my career with Playboy.
Heinrich: I want to mention that I have a Web site up now www.stephanieheinrich.com. Check it out.
Hill: Playboy is a classy magazine and so we don't really think we are considered a derivative of pornography. However it is unfortunate that some Internet sites put our pictures up, without our permission. They perpetuate this lie that we have some connection with the porn industry when we in fact we have none.
TT: When girls are starting out with Playboy, is there a lot of competition? Do girls vie for the attention of the photographer?
Hill: No, no. All the girls always go in and have their own private shoots. There is no real competition.
When you are shooting 12 different girls throughout the year, there are a variety of different looks, different personalities, and different girls and so there is no real way girls can compete for that.
TT: So what is next for you guys? Your hopes? Aspirations?
Burley: I have just moved out to California and I have a manager out there and an agent. Eventually I would like to go into acting. Though I still plan to stay with real estate for the time being.
Hill: I am also in California, doing modeling and acting. Eventually I plan to go back to school and get my degree.
Heinrich: I am not actually sure right now what I plan to do with my life. It would be hard to go back to school right now since it9s been so long. I guess I am still one of those undecided ones out there.
TT: It's OK there are a bunch of us. Tell me, does the photographer always get laid at the end of the interview?
Hill: No.
Heinrich: No.
Burley: That's just a vicious rumor.
TT: Too bad, our photographer was feeling lucky. So is smart really sexy?
Hill: Definitely.
Burley: Intellect is very sexy.
TT: Alicia, what do you like most about Boston?
Burley: I really love the nightlife here. Out here there is Avalon, Axis and other really nice and big clubs, whereas in places like California you just have the smaller clubs. I am definitely going to miss it.
TT: Do you ladies know the Dalai Lama was here last week.
Heinrich: Was he really?
TT: He wouldn't do an interview with me though. Anyway, what are your thoughts on his philosophies and beliefs and the political situation with Tibet and China?
Silence.
TT: OK. Forget that -- I have noticed that each time I look through Playboy, there are less and less pictures and more and more advertisements. I opened one up the other day and five of those cards fell out. What's the deal?
More silence, mumbling.
TT: How about this: What's your favorite movie -- each one of you?
Hill: "Casablanca."
Burley: I'd say "Scarface."
Heinrich: Mine would probably be "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" or something.

Brian Loux and Tauhid Zaman contributed to the reporting of this story.