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Do It with Emotion

This is a column where we address questions and topics of all kinds concerning sex and relationships. Dr. Do It and Ms. Emotion do not claim to be experts in the fields but have been “around the block” a few times and have seen their share of situations involving relationships and sex. The opinions of Dr. Do It and Ms. Emotion do not necessarily reflect the opinions of this publication.

Dear Dr. Do It and Ms. Emotion:

I’m trying to get closer to a girl. I find out what she’s interested in and get myself into those activities to align my interests with her’s. It’s really tough sometimes. Do you have any suggestions on what else I could do?

-- Hard-Working Chaser

Ms. Emotion: Are you genuinely interested in some of the things she does? If so, then it shouldn’t be difficult to pursue those interests. Otherwise, if you don’t like her interests, what will you do if she becomes interested in you? Will you keep up the charades?

It’s better to be yourself and do the activities that you genuinely interested in. That way you may find someone who is more aligned with yourself and you won’t have to pretend.

Dr. Do It: I hate these questions. Have you talked with the girl seriously at all? I know it’s tough to go up to a girl and say “I’m interested in you, would you like go out?” but sometimes you gotta go for broke. Otherwise, you might spend too much time and effort trying to beat around the bush and, in the meantime, some other guy will ask her out.

Granted this is easier said than done. It takes a lot of guts to lay on a line like that and it is possible that you may panic during the confrontation and stammer like an idiot. But this is a part of life. I’ve definitely had my moments like that.

The important thing to remember is nothing ever goes exactly as you plan. As long as you can still laugh off your mistakes, you will feel more comfortable with yourself and you will find these difficult situations easier to overcome.

Dear Dr. Do It and Ms. Emotion:

I am really interested in a girl in my one of my classes and I’ve hung out with her in some social occasions. We seem to have good chemistry, but things are moving kind of slow. Also, for some reason, I have this feeling she might be seeing someone even though she claims to be available. What should I do?

- Chemically Reactive

Dr. Do It: Well, my answer to the first question applies here. Have you talked to her yet?

I understand that it’s easier to give out advice than to take it. To my credit, I have been in situations like this where I’m not sure what’s going on in a relationship and I know that I like this girl. But how does one approach this sort of subject? I don’t know. It’s different every time.

I suppose you could pick a moment where this chemistry between you and her is strong and bring it up the subject then. Ask her what’s going on and where this relationship is going.

Of course, there is a chance that she doesn’t even know. She’s probably hanging out with you because you’re fun to hang out with, not because she’s actively looking for a relationship.

As far as I can tell, a lot of people play it by ear. If you enjoy hanging out with her, cool. If you want something more and you think that she might feel the same, I recommend that you talk about it with her. Otherwise, it sounds like you guys are having fun together. You might want to consider remaining in your current position and don’t worry about what she does in her time outside of the times he spends with you.

Dear readers: Okay, here’s the deal: If you have any topic you want us to talk about, e-mail it to us. We’ll choose the most interesting one and write about it in the next column.

- Do It with Emotion

If you have any questions for Dr. Do It and Ms. Emotion or topics you would like them to discuss, please send e-mail to advice@the-tech.mit.edu.