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Things I Do Not Want To Hear

Seth Bisen-Hersh

As the semester creeps past its halfway mark, it has come to my attention that everyone is way too stressed. Also, it is apparent to me that there have been too many serious columns in The Tech of late.

I am attempting to rectify both situations by writing this column here. Being stressed, overworked and sleep-deprived, I have decided to try to break from my mundane schedule and add some humor to life by creating a list of the top ten things that I really do not want to hear. So here I go without further ado.

The Top Ten Things that I do not want to hear:

10. There has been another alcohol-related incident on the MIT campus. Enough is enough already! I am getting very sick of all this press, as I'm sure most people are. Just because we're the smartest students in the country does not mean we aren't people too. If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you stress us out, do we not get smashed to relieve the pressure?

9. President Clinton did what with Monica Lewinsky? Again, another topic that I (and I am sure plenty of others) are sick of hearing about. Do I care if the President had sex in the White House? No! In fact, I am quite happy for him because it's nice to know that even though he is very busy running the country, he still has time for the most important aspects of life.

8. It is going to be 30 degrees tomorrow and 70 the next day. What is up with the weather in Boston anyway? It's very frustrating trying to decide what to wear each day. Especially when there are constant changes. Honestly, I don't care if it's warm or cold - I just wish it'd stop being so wishy-washy and pick a temperature already.

7. I'm on grades. For the record, I do not like being on grades one bit. I don't know whose idea it was to ever invent grades. I just know it's not fun being back on them. To all of those freshmen out there, I implore you to enjoy what little time you get on pass/no record! To all of my fellow sophomores: I feel your pain.

6. I have until November to place out of Phase I. Oops. So I forgot about that silly writing requirement. I think columns in The Tech should count.

5. Fiddler [Fiddle her] on the roof? But I hardly know her! This joke is unoriginal. I hear it almost every day. "Oh, you're directing [Musical Theatre Group]'s Fiddler on the Roof? But I Enough said.

4. Class average on the Circuits and Electronics (6.002) midterm was a 70! And the problem set this week is the longest and hardest ever, and we have another lab to do next week? This is just a gripe against the amount of work we get in 6.002. It's just a little excessive, no? I understand this is MIT, and we should expect lots of work, but couldn't we have at least one less problem set to give us a chance to concentrate on our other classes once in awhile? At least the lectures have been fairly interesting, and my TA is nice.

3. I only have one pair of clean underwear left! How can this be? I feel like I just did my laundry. Why is there never enough clean underwear?

2. I have to wake up in how many hours? This is just a plea to myself to finish this column up and go to bed.

And the number one thing I do NOT want to hear:

1. This is only the beginning. It gets harder, and then I have to worry about graduate school. And then I actually have to get a real job! I think I will leave those worries to another day.

So there you have it! The top ten things on my mind that I felt I had an opinion about. I return you to your regular scheduled lives now. Best wishes for getting through this stressful part of the term!