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Vest Policy, Milk Lead Field in UMOC Contest

By Douglas E. Heimburger
Editor in Chief

This year's Ugliest Manifestation on Campus competition moves into its final day today, pitting campus issues against sculptures, sour milk, and actual human beings.

As of 5 p.m. yesterday, the contest, sponsored by Alpha Phi Omega as a charity event, had raised $531.00. Carl C. Dietrich '99, running using President Charles M. Vest's decision to house all freshman in dormitories starting in 2001, led the candidates with$166.93.

Marleigh I. Norton '99 was in second place with $166.09. Her campaign is "Opaque Horizons," a transparent sculpture located this week in Lobby 7.

Third place was held by Boris Zbarsky '01, campaigning with Random Hall's five year-old milk. His receipts totaled $90.68.

Rounding out the receipts were James M. Kretchmar '99 with Kerberos V at $81.18, Martin T. Stiaszny '99 with "Transparent Horizons" at $19.60, Sherry E. Davidoff '02 with the Undergraduate Association at $14.78, Seth Bisen-Hersh '01 at $14.11 and Daniel D. Dwyer '00 at $9.89.

Write-in votes totaled $17.74. Proceeds from the event will go to the charity of the winner's choice.

This year's contest "didn't start out so strongly,"said Emily M. Marcus '01, the candidate coordinator for the contest. Several of the candidates didn't choose to run until mid-week, slowing the results.

Marcus said this year's contest, with many issues being presented by candidates, is "a little bit unusual."However, many of the perennial candidates, including Steven E. Jens '97 and Jay P. Muchnij '97, have graduated.

Only Bisen-Hersh and Dwyer are running as themselves. The other six candidates were all running with objects or issues as their themes.

The UMOC contest began in 1952. Its original name, Ugliest Man on Campus, was recently modified to allow a wider variety of entries to the contest.

This year, APOwill be adding $500 to the total contribution pot. "It's not something we usually do, but we thought it might be something to do," Marcus said, noting that the added cash might motivate individuals interested in their charity to vote more.

Only some actively campaign

Some of the candidates are actively campaigning for the UMOCtitle, while others have chosen to play the low road.

"I'm just along for the ride," said Dietrich. A group of individuals are "publicizing inside and outside the [Interfraternity Council] and dorms."

"We want to make this a political statement,"Dietrich said, noting this week's release of the Undergraduate Association's poll on housing issues. "We really want to back that up."

Dietrich said he hoped that the UMOCwould "publicize the issue [of housing] and get it out in the open."

If Dietrich wins, the proceeds will be donated to CASA, a Cambridge group that provides court advocates to youth.

Milk runs again for second time

A perennial candidate in UMOC, Random Hall's five year-old milk makes a return appearance this year.

"When you start wondering whether the item of food might not contain the life form that will take over earth in the future, I think that's pretty ugly,"Zbarsky said.

The milk will make an appearance in Lobby 10 tomorrow to campaign for Zbarsky.

In 1995, the milk helped Justin O. Cave '98 win UMOC by just 52 cents.

Zbarsky said that he was mainly campaigning for the prize using freshmen fromRandomHall, his dormitory.

The soured, disintegrating milk should again be declared UMOC, Zbarsky said, noting that "I'd certainly consider it worse than Kerberos V."

If Zbarsky wins, the proceeds will be donated to the Dana Farber Cancer Institute.

Bisen-Hersh campaigns in drag

Bisen-Hersh, one of the candidates campaigning as himself, said he decided to participate since APO"really wanted someone to run" as an individual.

"Because it didn't take any of my time, I said okay,"Bisen-Hersh said.

Although he has not campaigned much, Bisen-Hersh said he could win "if Ireally wanted to buy and pressure people." At this point, his goal is to "beat the UA."

Bisen-Hersh considers himself to be the UMOC"only when I'm in drag,"adding that he may make a Lobby 10 appearance tomorrow in drag.

Other candidates less active

Stiaszny said that while he is running for UMOCwith "Transparent Horizons,"a sculpture located near East Campus, he isn't that involved with the actual campaign. "I'm a little too hosed/apathetic to care about UMOC."

Stiaszny added that East Campus residents in general feel that the sculpture is ugly, since it looks like the refuse from a scrap metal press.

East Campus President Kai-Yuh Hsiao '99 said that while the dormitory was not officially campaigning for the sculpture, "Ithink East Campus has traditionally and historically opposed the existence of that thing."

If Stiaszny wins, proceeds will go towards gun control efforts.

Kretchmar said people should vote for Kerberos V, the new authentication software used by Athena,because the million-plus lines of code are "so bad, Microsoft rewrote it."

This year's contest ends at 5 p.m. today; winners will receive the "Ugliest Trophy on Campus"in the near future, which will be displayed in the student center.