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Everything Falls Apart During 10th Week of the NFL

By Chris Brocoum
sports columnist

Ladies and gentlemen, the NFL has just experienced armageddon followed by gridlock. Please bear with us while we attempt to sort through the wreckage

This is ridiculous. The bookmakers in Vegas report losses in excess of $51.7 million and the president has declared a national emergency and requested the help of the National Guard in an attempt to alleviate the situation.

In a mass of six major upsets, including five beheadings of division leaders, the NFL has effectively nullified the hard and honest work of many teams through the first half of the season. The underdogs, with a combined record of 2430, upset the favorites, with a combined record of 4014, in a series of thrilling games including three games decided in overtime.

Whew. This is football at its best, ladies and gentlemen. Let's take a look. Green Bay lost. Philadelphia lost. Washington lost. Pittsburgh lost. San Francisco lost. Well, it has certainly opened up some possibilities for the playoffs, now hasn't it?

Philly, Dallas, and the 'Skins are going to be fighting to the wire. Pittsburgh and Houston are going to be battling it out. Kansas City has new hope for overcoming Denver. And New England and Buffalo are tied atop the AFCEast.

The only certain thing in the NFL now is that everyone on every team (excluding Atlanta and the Jets) is going to be re-evaluating their positions as the playoffs near. The season is just heating up.

Now, after a rough week, I gingerly approach this week's picks, but then I say to myself, hey, everyone screws up once

The picks, week 11

Denver is practically the only team not to be upset last week. Then why the heck aren't they favored against the Patriots? I'm not sold on hometown favorites, and I'll take the untackleable Elway over Bledsoe any day.

In a thrilling contrast to the Washington-Philly game, Arizona and the Giants will be battling for the bottom of the NFCEast. Take Arizona.

Atlanta announced that they will be conducting open interviews at the Career Center next week. Minimum qualifications include being able to calculate what combinations of touchdowns and field goals lead to a 5916 drubbing. Take New Orleans.

Buffalo knocked off Philadelphia, and as much as I wishCincinnati would knock off someone other than Pittsburgh, I'm going with the Bills.

St. Louis is feeling pretty good about themselves after racking up an aforementioned 59 points last week. Then again it was against the Falcons. Take Carolina.

Detroit is favored over Seattle. Whatever. Take Seattle.

Houston is not better than Miami - period.

If Indianapolis does not beat the Jets, the NFL has resolved to revoke any bragging rights the Colts may have thought they acquired for beating Dallas.

Look for Kansas City to start winning big as they try to catch Denver. Take the Chiefs over da Bears.

Minnesota has basically squandered a perfectly good NFL season. But it got cold and I have to wear my Vikings jacket. Take 'em over the Raiders.

Big TimeShowdown: The Philadelphia Eagles versus the Washington Redskins. The Eagles already beat the 'Skins once this year, and both teams are coming off disgraceful losses. Both teams are tied to lead the powerhouse of the NFL: the NFCEast. This is a big game. Washington will be looking for the luck of the Irish. Take the 'Skins in a close one.

Pittsburgh, no longer mystified by the Cincinnati factor, will dispatch of the Jaguars.

San Diego over Tampa Bay. Tampa got lucky last week - in overtime. It ain't gonna happen again.

Although Steve Young is questionable, I don't think the Ravens can cut it. Do you?

Monday Night Special: This pales in comparison to the Philly-Washington game, but it should be good nonetheless. It's in Dallas, and if Dallas can pull it off, they will be tied for second in the NFCEast. They won't.

Last week: 59 (author's note: this is my first big time screwup, and I don't want to hear about it. I mean six upsets - come on). Season record: 6950.