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Excerpts from The Rules

Rule: Don't Talk to a Man First (And Don't Ask Him to Dance)

"Not even let's have coffee,' or Do you come here often?' Right, not even those seemingly harmless openers. Otherwise, how will you know if he spotted you first, was smitten by you and had to have you, or is just being polite?... We know how extreme the rule must sound, not to mention snobbish, silly, and painful; but taken in the context of the rules, it makes perfect sense. After all, the premise of The Rules is that we never make anything happen, that we trust the natural order of things - namely, that man pursues woman."

Rule: Don't Stare at Men or Talk Too Much

"It is never necessary to make eye contact. What about letting a man know you're receptive? We suggest simply smiling at the room (or the universe, if you will) and looking relaxed and approachable."

Rule: Don't Meet Him Halfway or Go Dutch on a Date

"Men love a challenge - that's why they play sports, fight wars, and raid corporations. The worst thing you can do is make it easy on them. Men feel good when they work hard for you. Don't take it away from them."

"Friends and colleagues meet halfway. Men (real men) pick up women at their apartments or office for dates. Always make the place convenient for you. We don't care where you live."

Rule: Don't Call Him and Rarely Return His Calls

"If you followed The Rules religiously, there is no reason to call him. He should be calling you, and calling you again and again until he pins you down for a date. To call them is to pursue them, which is totally against the rules. They will immediately know that you like them and probably lose interest!"

Rule: Always End Phone Calls First

"When a man calls, don't stay on more than ten minutes. Buy a timer if you have to. When the bell rings, time to go!"

"Don't stay on the phone an hour or two recounting you feelings or every incident of the day. He does not want to date his younger sister, his chatterbox mother, or his gossipy next door neighbor. He wants to talk to a girl who's friendly, light, and breezy."

Rule: Don't Accept a Saturday Night Date After Wednesday

"It is essential that men ask you out early in the week because, as a Rules woman, you simply can't put your life on hold until Thursday or Friday. You have friends and a lot of things to do. You need to know ahead of time if you're going to have a date Saturday night or go to the movies with the girls. When men are calling Thursday night, you become a nervous wreck. Basically, you're living on the edge. Rules girls don't live on the edge. They have plans."

Rule: How To Act On Dates 1, 2, and 3

"All you really have to do on the first three dates is show up, relax, pretend you're an actress making a cameo appearance in a movie."

"The first three dates should be like being and nothingness. Dress nice, be nice, goodbye, and go home."

Rule: How To Act On Dates 4 Through Commitment Time

"On the fourth date, you can show more of yourself. You can talk about your feelings, as long as you don't get too heavy, or play therapist or mother. Exhibit warmth, charm, and heart. If his dog died or his baseball team lost, express sympathy. Look into his eyes, be attentive and a good listener so he knows that you are a caring person - a person who would make a supportive wife."