Institutional Wisdom Watch
Voodoo: Phos is a copycat! "Nipple Woman" big loser with campus humor crowd.
Physical Plant: Crack commando squad chugs down coffee to run to chopper crash site.
Sloan Master's: Baits bevy of newcomers. If these guys are paying, let's triple the enrollment!
Ashdown: Residents produce harsh list of "non-negotiables." With all the excitement, why was Dean Smith doodling?
EC Fire: If only you could prevent idiots from throwing lit cigs down the chutes. Call in Smokey Bear.
Albert Hsu: Puppet of former UA Judboard members. Wanted: Secretary.
Jason Solinsky: Flame on, Grizzly Adams. If you aren't graduating, why not run for UAP?
John Hollywood: Desperate UAVP search ends at last. Can they catch front-runners Muh and Balsley?
Sheldon Myrie: Outsider's UAP candidacy recalls Admiral Stockdale: "Who am I and what am I doing here?"
Tuition: This is the direction it should be going.