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Institutional Wisdom Watch

  • Strategic Housing Planning Committee: Perverse attempt at top-down social engineering generates more heat than light.
  • President Vest: MIT's own President Bush spends his time out of town saving MIT's rear end. While the cat's away, the mice will play.
  • Provost Wrighton: MIT's Richie Rich complete with bronze Corvette. Botched UESA search, CMRAE. Woodshed time.
  • Dean Art Smith: SHPC hurt, but we're sad to see you go. Art, we hardly knew ye.
  • Robert Randolph, SHPC Chair: "We have listened" line wears thin. Motto: Vox Dean, Vox Dei.
  • Residence and Campus Activities: Jablonski clears the air. Allen muddies the waters.
  • Picture book monkey: Get it off our backs.
  • Aramark: ARA ditches name to improve image. Even the rats aren't fooled.
  • New calendar: Reading period? What reading period? MIT is still Hell.
  • John Hollywood, UA Committee on Student Life: Survey-king running in an open field. UA presidential bid generates zero enthusiasm.
  • UROP: Under siege, provost's $1 million saves the summer. But who will be Daddy Warbucks this year? Happy 25th birthday!
  • UA: Student government rejoins the battle. Now where'd I put my sword?
  • GSC: Maximum Leader "Woja" Kermode single-handedly rules grad world.
  • Hacking: Memories of the police car fading fast. Where's Tetris?
  • UAP Vijay Sankaran: Extracts UA from Bush Fund imbroglio, but to where?
  • Gussie Simonides: Like Spock, it takes three people to replace him. And it's still not the same.
  • Thistle: Cannabis-laden sheet drops behind deadlines.
  • Counterpoint: GOP victory brings champagne and brie to office. Maybe that's why they never publish?
  • Voodoo: Outpublishes Thistle, becomes funny. Cilantro Boy new campus hero.
  • Police Log: Humor missing, later found. Ashdown: SHPC reported; dorm missing.
  • David LaMacchia: MIT's O.J. whips Feds; it's back to the 5th Floor of the Student Center. Go Juice, go!
  • John Deutch: The Deputy Secretary of Defense, our man in Washington, continues to be a player. Wisely sidesteps CIA quagmire.
  • Resnet: Because you can't sniff passwords in the clusters.
  • Coop: With no rebate, membership has no privileges. Bring back the lingerie trees!
  • Re-engineering: Euphemism masks shallow plan. Can you say "layoffs"?