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Rush Only Happens Once So Enjoy It

Column by Michael K. Chung
Columnist

Assuming that any of you freshmen actually take the time to read anything in this newspaper, by the time you get to this page rush will have probably already started. But thats okay, because rush lasts for at least a couple of days, even though it feels like it lasts a couple of weeks.

My advice to you? Enjoy it while it lasts. You can only really experience this event once, so you may as well milk it for all its worth. For instance, if you have spent any money on food, you're probably doing something wrong. And if you spent that money at one of the cafeterias (Hey dude, the food looks so good! And there's such a great selection!) then you're definitely doing something wrong. By this point, you should be eating pretty regally. But prepare yourself for a shock should you frequent a meal card-accepting food vendor anytime soon.

Another thing: if you've set up an Athena account and check your e-mail 11 times a day, then something else is very wrong. Wait at least two weeks into the term before doing something like that. (But I just wanted to get some fresh Athena air while I still can, you say. Good point, I say, but you'd be better off getting some fresh natural air while you can.)

If you've signed up for a bank account just because they had the biggest sign on campus, or because you thought the customer representatives were exceedingly attractive, then something may become very wrong after a certain age. Just make sure you read the fine print (in some cases its pretty invisible), so be sure to ask that smiling blemish-free face about why such-and-such is free and for how long.

But I'm not going to drone on and on about what I think is so wrong for you to be doing during your Residence and Orientation week at MIT. In fact, I'm sure that many people on campus would be quick to say that if you're reading something by Michael K. Chung and taking it to be the gospel truth, then there's something hideously wrong. Instead, I have formulated some hypothetical situations that some of you may encounter during your rush:

During R/O Week at MIT, you may hear from some MIT official that You really owe it to yourself to consider living in a non-dormitory environment, then something is viley wrong. Translated roughly, this administrator is telling you that the Admissions Committee let too many people into this school. Plus, since there are so many more women than in previous years, more precious dormitory space is needed.

Now, if you're female, you probably needn't worry about it too much, since there are far more male independent living groups than female ILGs. If youre male, however, and if you're not sure if you want to live off-campus or not, do the easiest thing: show up with a sleeping bag at President Vest's house. If he kicks you out, there's plenty of space in the Student Center that people already sleep in.

On the subject of ILGs, if you find yourself in a house and the house foosball and pool masters are giving lessons, then be forewarned: This is an entertainment house - don't expect to get any work done in this kind of house.

And if you find yourself in a house with lots of glass decorations adorning every four-inch-wide surface along the walls, neon signs of beverages, a bar looking better than any restaurant bar youve ever seen, dart boards, and animal heads stuck on the wall, then you've probably happened upon the alcoholics anonymous house. If you don't drink, they'll be happy to teach you. Or so they say.

And you may find yourself, ("Once in a Lifetime," The Talking Heads) in a large beat-up house. With a beautiful rug. And a lot of sunglasses. And a lot of long hair. And a huge ventilation system. And a loud stereo playing "Stairway to Heaven," "A Passage to Bangkok," and "Kiss the Sky" continuously. In this event, you're in a drug house. If you don't toke up with them, then take off before you get too polluted.

Suffice it to say, make the most of your R/O Week. It's crazy, it's tiring, it's confusing, it's difficult. But it's a helluva good time.

Michael K. Chung '94 is ready to re-live the R/O experience. Look for him wherever you find lobsters and steaks.