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Holyfield Will Outlast Moorer in Heavyweight

By Mike Duffy
and Andrew Heitner
Sports Columnists

Greetings once again to our faithful. Your humble scribes are a bit weary this week, having both turned in times of 4:20 at the Boston Marathon on Monday. Because of car troubles, the first 2:10 was spent running from Somerville to Hopkinton to get to the starting line. Nevertheless, the race was easy to complete with the aid of the "beer on a stick" hats that the brainiacs over in the Cognitive Sciences department rigged up for us.

Before the festivities begin, we give a hearty Let's Argue welcome home to some former MIT sports luminaries who are making their way back to the Hub for the weekend. Not since Thomas Jefferson dined alone has so much greatness been assembled in one place at the same time: Chris Sonne '91 (basketball), Ken "Case" Chay '91 (lacrosse), John "The Potato" Sell '91 (wrestling), Alex Virgilio '92 (basketball), Sue Scruggs-Virgilio '93 (soccer), Willie Scruggs '92 (soccer), Denee Goodhope-Scruggs (basketball), Mike Bowers '92 (sailing), Dr. Steve Hao '92 (lacrosse), Alex Medina '92 (4-square), Tom Aviv '91 (hackeysack), Andy Obst '91 (beaver huntin'), and His Majesty, Sir Vix Antaramian '92 (rugby).

After a more-than-5-month lay off, the heavyweight title (there is only one, and Lennox Lewis does not have it) is finally on the line again, as Evander Holyfield laces 'em up to take on challenger Michael Moorer tonight in Las Agassi. Moorer has an impressive record at 340 with 30 KO's, including the first 26 in a row. But his first 22 fights came as a light heavyweight, while the next four were as a cruiserweight. Meanwhile, he has only four KO's in eight fights as a heavyweight. Although this history is similar to that of both Holyfield and Michael Spinks, Moorer has not fought anyone of note, except his wife. Holyfield's only weakness is still that he takes too many punches. Evander should be able to take all that Moorer has in the early rounds, and finally use his tremendous stamina to outlast and punish him in the later rounds. With God on his side and Mike due out of jail soon, Evander will not lose out on a major payday in '96. Look for The Real Deal in 10.

Incidentally, Moorer's wife served Michael with court papers for child support payments this week, to try to distract her estranged husband from the fight. Holyfield's wife also served him with divorce papers in the week before he beat Buster Douglas for the title to try to distract him. Someone ought to tell these women that it is better to let him win the fight, so that he's got more money to take (see any of Johnny Carson's ex-wives).

We take a peek into Menudo's crystal ball as he predicts the first five picks of Sunday's NFL Draft:

Cincinnati. Coach Shula has a lot of needs to fill (WR, O Line, Stadium, etc.), but will not pass on the opportunity to team up Ohio State's Dan Wilkinson with a good young defense (led by a pair of last year's first team All Rookies, defensive end John Copeland and linebacker Steve Tovar). Big Daddy plays the D line and has the strength to shoot the gaps and plug the necessary holes.

Indianapolis. With the 2nd and 7th picks overall, the Colts are looking to pull off somewhat of a heist. With the 2nd pick they will take running back Marshall Faulk, a stud from San Diego State. With their next pick, they are hoping QB Trent Dilfer of Fresno State will still be around for them to select (not so says Menudo). Anyway, its hard to pass on Faulk, a player in the mold of Barry Sanders.

Washington. The four 'Skins have one critical need: a quarterback and a new owner (okay, that's two). After releasing Rypien, Coach Turner made it clear that they will take Tennessee QB, Heath Shuler. At 64, Shuler has the size to stand in the pocket and take some licks, but has the mobility to scamper in a Flutie-esque manner if necessary.

Pats. If the top three picks go as planned, the P-men are in trouble. Their major needs are at D line and receiver (and running back, if Russell is not signed). If Wilkinson is gone, there are no other lineman that warrant going this high (Waldrop and Adams will go a little later). Sources close to Menudo, however, say Parcells has a big trade in mind in order to switch positions in the draft.

Rams. With the release of Jim Everett, the Rams need a Q (Rubley is no Ferragamo, either on or off the field) to complement Jerome Bettis. With Dilfer sliding this low, the Rams will take him as the fifth pick. If the Pats are weasels , though, and make a move (read: Dilfer is not available), LA will take Rob Wald rop, the Outland winner from Arizona.

Comeback Player of the Year

Once again we have listed the services of the baseball guru, Jeff "Grandma" Ma '94, in order to bring you the favorites for baseball's comeback player of the year award.

For any of you who follow baseball, or sports in general, there is no greater joy than seeing one of your old favorites bounce back from a down year to put up monster stats. There are many candidates for comeback player of the year once again this year. In evaluating these guys the important things to look for are players at the end of a contract and players rebounding from a recent injury.

American League

Mark McGwire was having a great season last year until he was sidelined with an injury. The As think that they can rebound from last year's pathetic performance, with McGwire being the key. Imagine if he played in Colorado.

Jose Canseco should have a great year, as there are positive reports about his attitude and health. He crushed a couple home runs in the spring close to 450 feet and looks ready to return to his old form. Like McGwire, Mr. Madonna looks to flirt with membership into the 50 dinger club. With Clark, Gonzalez, and Palmer hitting around him, however, his chances are much better than Mark's.

Teddy Higuera is a sentimental favorite for the award. The Brew Crew brass is high on the way he threw the ball in the spring, and they inserted him in the rotation. When healthy he was one of the league's finest.

Steve "Bye Bye" Balboni has been given a contract with Oklahoma City (Texas' AAA club) and looks to be stroking the long ball like he did when he was with the Columbus Clippers. Although a household name in Toledo, Rochester, and Richmond, Bye Bye will finally get his respect this year.

National League

Doug Drabek is a solid pitcher who had difficulty living up to expectations last year in Houston. As a big money free agent returning to his childhood digs, Drabek felt the heat to perform well. This year Drabek, a former Cy Young winner, will win 20 and discover just how cozy the Astrodome confines are.

Another Astronomical, Greg Swindell, also looks to return to his old form. A dominant pitcher with the Longhorns (UT), Indians, and Reds, the southpaw has started the season strong, posting a 30 record out of the gate.

Derek Bell doesn't really qualify for this award but he's worth mentioning since the Padres front office had given up on him until his impressive spring. In fact they were so down on him they were trying to trade him to the Red Sox for the right to have Lou Gorman as their GM. Bell has been impressive so far this season with his blend of power and speed. He wasn't minor league player of the year for nothing.

Pookie's Cup

Last week's Genie vs. Wonder Woman clash really seemed to arouse excitement on campus (especially in the men's bathrooms), as The Tech mailboxes were flooded with votes cast for each of the contestants. In the end, though, it was Genie nipping it out over the Lady in the star spangled bottom. This week, cast your votes at for: Genie vs. The Girls of Hee Haw.

Mondongo's Hueso de la Semana

To Charlotte Hornet center, Alonzo Mourning "Woody," who got himself tossed out of Friday's game versus the Bulls. Zo was trying to show off his manhood by bullying the tough man from Down Under, Luc "2 inches" Longley. Zo got booted from both the Bulls and the following game (versus NY) and the Bugs lost the game. Charlotte, fighting for the last playoff spot with Miami, beat the Knicks.

Race for Futility

Following a 2026 start, the Philadelphia 76ers are a measly 429 without rookie Shawn Bradley. This is particularly futile, considering that Bradley is so skinny. Not that we have neglected the goings on in the Windy City, as the Cubs have opened the season 08 at home while the Blackhawks have lost nine straight play off games.

Trivia Question of the Week

What three major league teams have never had a no-hitter pitch for them? (Hint: two are gimmes.) Send answers, comments, and your favorite Belly lyrics to sports@ the-tech.

Answer to last week's question: Lou Whitaker and Joe Morgan. Kudos to Tim Dawson and Dave Alexander '94 who got it right. They win the right to surf dance at tomorrow night's SCC concert. Just show up at Howard Johnson at 8 p.m., fork out 12 bucks, and join the crazies inside.

Rumblings from Around the 'Tute

This in from Kevin Dahm G: "As far as beanballs go, I agree with you entirely about Montgomery's throwing at Fletch. He deserved to get ejected.

"But at the same time, this charging the mound stuff has gotten completely out of hand in the last couple years. Where did Reggie Sanders get off charging the mound after he got hit in the Montreal game? It was the 8th inning, Montreal was only ahead 20, the count was 02, and the pitcher was gunning for a perfect game. Did Sanders seriously think he was being thrown at or was he just pissed at being deprived of the opportunity to strike out?"