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Kudos to CBS- Will NBC Do the Same?

By Mike Duffy and Andrew Heitner
Sports Columnists

Many, including the New York media, have wondered aloud why Bill Parcells was not contacted or offered the head coaching job of the Giants.

The reasons are three fold: first, the G men need to rebuild, that is start with a new system and a coach who will not be afraid to trade older players for youth and draft picks (see Dallas, 1989); second, Parcells could not win two more Super Bowls with the Giants and anything short of that would devalue his legacy in the Big Apple; lastly, George Young is probably still bitter that Parcells held on so long into 1991 before quitting. As a result, the Giants were unable to give the head coaching job to Bill Belichick.

As the sale of 1500 new season tickets at Slopboro indicates, the acquisition of Parcells was a great move for the Patsies. Parcells may have to endure an 1-15 season -- his first with the Giants was 3-12-1 -- before leading the Pats out of the cellar, although with a last place schedule and the top draft pick (our selection would be Alabama defensive end Eric Curry), the Pats are not to far from a 7-9 or 8-8 season. All they need is discipline (no offsides on third and 2), good clock management (see the Dolphins game), and innovation -- all of which are solved by good coaching. And, after surviving the New York Post and Daily News scribes, Madden, Ryan, and Shaunessy will seem like pen pals to Parcells.

Speaking of the Meadowland Warriors, new head coach Dan Reeves oughta realize that he is walking a fine line in New York. Creative offensive schemes (AFC West "Fun Ball") doesn't sit well with the locals unless they work 100 percent of the time. If the opening play of the season is a triple-half gainer with a twist that goes for a 2 yard loss, Reeves won't make it until the third quarter without hearing the "Dan Must Go" (aren't NY fans original?) chants. Besides, Reeves doesn't sprint off of the field as fast as Ray Handley.

Kudos to CBS for copying ESPN and bringing the goal post cam to nationally televised football games. The camera, mounted to the crossbar provides a much better angle for goal line stands and for line play in general. Besides, the camera can never be focused on 4 drunk guys with "J-E-T-S" written on their chests or on the cheerleaders instead of the action on the field. Here's hoping that NBC not only employs the goal post cam for Sunday's Super Bowl, but also revives the camera gismo used in the 1984 Orange Bowl in which a wire was suspended across the top of the stadium and an attached camera followed the action on the field with a "sky view."

What will Craig Hodges get if he wins the NBA 3-point contest -- a contract with an NBA team? Hodges, a three-time champion who was cut from the Bulls well before the season for openly criticizing His Airness, is rumored to be shooting 5000 three-pointers a day in preparation for the event. Although his participation in the event is a sham since he is not a current player, he does deserve a shot with a team. Certainly a team like San Antonio could use a role player like Hodges to put them over the top. Maybe Doctor J will return next year to the Slam Dunk contest, too...

The demise of the Big East as a basketball powerhouse, all too evident this season, began with the departure of commissioner Dave Gavitt to the Celtics and coincided with the loss of coaches Rollie Massamino and Lou Carneseca. Only one team, Seton Hall, has a chance of doing some damage in the NCAA tourney this year. Georgetown, arguably the best team in Division II, does not deserve to be anywhere near the Top 25. Miami registered its first win against a Division I opponent when they beat the Hoyas, after the Hurricanes had disposed the likes of Florida International, Clearwater State, and Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. John Thompson must have promised the AP scribes free tickets to the MTV Inaugural ball if they voted for his Hoyas...

The residents of Chestnut Hill are as fickle as they come. First, they sit on pins and needles awaiting Coach Coughlin's decision on whether or not he'll take the Giants coaching job. After his decision, there was dancing in the streets and the dreams of Sugar Bowl appearances began. Now, however, they are blocking a bid by Boston College officials to expand Alumni Stadium from 32,000 to 50,000 seats. They cite the following reasons: increased number of college students (what were they thinking when they moved next to a major university?), parking problems on football Saturday's for their guests (why would their friends want to come over on a BC home game day anyway?), and further problems with traffic (let's see, they say that it is currently impossible to drive in Newton on game day because of the traffic levels. How is more traffic going to make this worse?). Sniff, sniff...

Continue to send in those letters to sports@the-tech. As soon as we get around to it, we will start printing them (or excerpts of) in our column under the heading of letters.

You Heard It Here First

With the enactment of an Arizona state Martin Luther King, Jr. Holiday, Phoenix and Bill Bidwell will be awarded the next available Super Bowl, number IXXX in 1995.

Mike Ditka will follow the Bill Parcells route to big coaching money by sitting out a season and joining NBC in the studio, then returning the following season as coach of the expansion St. Louis team...

Race for Futility

Ottawa 4-44-3

Dallas 3-33

The Senators have already assured themselves of a losing season, while the Mavs victory total is one more then the number of Zoe Baird's personal babysitters.

Mondongo's Hueso de la Semana

To Ohio State's Greg Simpson. During a Buckeye Surge in Sunday's OSU-Indiana game, Simpson picked off a Damon Bailey pass and drove the length of the floor, only to blow the lay up after putting the ball around his back (to much "French Pastry" as Al McGuire put it). This ended the Buckeye rally as the Bucks proceeded to get thoroughly spanked by the Hoosiers after that...

Grizz and Waves

Montana 11-6 (3rd place)

Pepperdine 13-3 (1st place)

We were approached by a couple of avid readers, who asked if we could follow two of their favorite teams, the Montana Grizzlies and the Pepperdine Waves, as these perennial powerhouses made their way towards March Madness. As these two teams play on the West Coast, the Big Sky and West Coast conferences respectively, their schedules are not printed in the Globe. Therefore, as a service to our faithful readers, we will expand our horizons and once again go where no Boston newspaper has gone before. The Grizz play a tough road game Saturday at Boise State, while the Wave are at home with games against St. Mary's (Friday) and San Francisco (Saturday)...

Simson's Top 5

1. Indiana

2. North Carolina

3. Michigan

4. Kentucky

5. Duke

Where Are They Now?

Former college hoop stars:

Keith Lee, Fennis Dembo, Antoine Joubert, Uwe Blab, Mark Alarie, Michael Young, Derek Wittenberg, Michael Graham, Dallas Comygeys, and Alfrederick "The Great" Hughes...

Trivia Question of the Week

This is the Bills third straight Super Bowl appearance. Name the last team to accomplish this feat. Send answers to sports@the-tech.mit.edu.

Answer to last week's question: The Bears beat the Rams in the 1986 NFC Championship game, 24-0. Kudos to Keith Burdick `93 who got it right (P.S. Da Bears beat the Giants in the second round). Keith wins corner end zone tickets to all MIT home football games next year...

Sir Vix Picks

Vic has been knighted for doing such a fine job this season, compiling a 43-20 record. Says Jim Brennan G, "I always go with `The Picks.'"

Superlative Bowl XXVII

`Pokes 33, Bills 19. Score is obvious -- the number of Maverick losses to the number of Clippers losses (formerly the Buffalo Braves). Thurman Thomas remembers helmet this year, but forgets rest of uniform, causing him to miss entire first quarter. The Norwood legacy continues for Buffalo as Jim "...I'm also a client" Kelly tosses 2 interceptions. Ken "Honeymooner" Norton blocks a Lin "Lightning Strikes" Christy field goal attempt and Emmit Smith rushes for 126 yards. Someone ought to let Marv Levy catch the bouquet, because Bills go home bridesmaids again... And, in the one everyone will be watching, Bud Bowl V, Bud Light 24, Bud 6. A surprising match up, considering the difficult routes these two teams took to get here. Bud cruised to victory over long time nemesis Miller "Champagne of Beers" High Life, but had difficulty with the 12-man roster of CFL representative Molson. Bud Light, a wild card team, made easy work of the Stroh's Blows squad, but had to come from behind to defeat Intra-league rival King Cobra and the Waffle rep, Heineken on the road. Bud is a stronger team, but you have got to like Bud Light, as it is so difficult to repeat in this league. The "King of Beers" is dethroned - long live the "King"...