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Let's Argue -- Is It Faster to Run Through First Base Than to Slide?

By Mike Duffy G
and Andrew Heitner G

Watching the playoffs, we've noticed a lot of players sliding/diving into first base thinking that they can save that crucial `fraction of a second.'When will they realize, as any track runner can attest, that it's faster to run straight through the base than it is to slide?

Look for Miami to be 9-0 going into their Monday night rematch versus Buffalo on Nov. 16, then to drop their next 4 before returning to ABC with a victory over the 6-7 Raiders. Miami is hitting the sweet spot in their schedule with games against the Patsies, Jets, and Colts (twice) in the next four weeks. . .

The owners of the franchises in America's pastime are acting very un-American these days. After colluding to keep the salaries of free agents low, they are now trying to force Giants owner Bob Lurie to sell his team for $20 million less than he's been offered by the group from St. Pete. What hypocrisy in light of the fact that the owners won't take money out of their own pockets to give back to television. These are also the same owners who, in an attempt to curb free agent spending, allowed Fay Vincent to ban George Steinbrenner from baseball, thus taking away his right to manage his own business. . .

In response to the floods of jokes we received concerning the Patriots `offense,' here's a fact to chew on: the Seattle Seahawks, those lords of the gridiron the Pacific Northwest is proud to call their own, have participated in one more game than the Patsies, yet have scored 3 fewer points. As a service to our readers, this is a stat we will be monitoring weekly:

Patsies: 46 (9.2 ppg) Seadoves: 43 (7.2 ppg)

To round out this scribe's ballot for MVP in the National League:

1. Barry Bonds, Pittsburgh

2. Gary Sheffield, San Diego

3. Marge Schott, Cincinnati

Two thumbs up to former Bruin Rick Bowness and to Phil Esposito, who each inaugurated their new franchises, Ottawa and Tampa Bay, into the NHL with wins. The word on the streets is that Ottawa is forsaking immediate gains for future glory by investing in young guys and draft picks. Tampa Bay, more in need of quick returns so they can entice retirees off the beach and into the rink, has tried to build their team with veterans. This draws comparisons to expansion teams in baseball and basketball, where the Blue Jays and Heat stockpiled young players and draft picks, while the Mariners and Timberwolves went for aging veterans. The Jays are a championship team and the Heat have a bright future, while the Mariners and 'Wolves wallow in sub-mediocrity, being baseball's and basketball's equivalent of the Patsies.

Two thumbs down to Art Shell and the Raiders for not giving the ball to Eric Dickerson in the 4th quarter of the team's romp over the Bills last week. Heading into the quarter, Dickerson needed only 21 yards to pass Tony Dorsett for second place on the all-time rushing yardage list. It would have been fitting for him to reach this milestone in front of the Perrier-and-sushi-tailgaiting fans in Los Angeles, where he began his career. Now he will have to somehow get the yards in the Kingdome, where the Raiders take on the vaunted Seadove ball control offense. . .

Speaking of LA LA land, the offensive line that Larry Brown has put together for the Clippers looks to tip the scales at close to 1,000 pounds. The acquisition of Tito `Hostess' Horford, `Jell-o' John Williams, and Stanley `Ragu' Roberts may cause the Clips to hold their pre-training camp weigh-ins on the cattle scales at Knott's Berry Farm. Let's hope none of the these guys come back with girlfriends. . .

The NFL's Best Losing Team: Raiders

The NFL's Worst Winning Team: Broncos

Quien es mas malo? Patsies o Seadoves

Where are they now? Bob Gagliano, Mike Fipps, Turk Schonert, Chuck Fusina, Matt Cavanaugh, Mark Herrman, Dave Wilson, and Robbie Bosco. . .

Trivia Question Of The Week

Tampa Bay and Ottawa recently became the 8th and 9th expansion teams to win their first games. Can you name the other seven? Send answers and any comments, questions, or pictures from Madonna's new book to

Last week's answer: Ted Simmons C, Cecil Cooper 1B, Jim Gantner 2B, Robin Yount SS, Paul Molitor 3B, Ben Oglivie RF, Gorman Thomas CF, Charlie Moore LF, Roy Howell/Don Money DH, and 4 pitchers include Mike Caldwell, Moose Haas, Pete Vukovich, and Rollie Fingers.

Kudos to Bart Williams G and Jonathan Stoehr, who were the only two to correctly answer the question. Many of you missed the elusive Charlie Moore.


Led by the potent offensive punch of Javier Nazario '95 and Jim Lee '93, the water polo team is currently ranked 8th nationally in Division III. Watch for a barrage of Beavers shots at Harvard this weekend as MIT participates in the New England seeding tourney. . .

The women's soccer team is also on a roll. Sporting a 10-2 record, the Lady Beavers look to stuff Babson on Saturday at 10:30 am on the hallowed turf of Steinbrenner Stadium. . .

Come Sunday, watch the crews stroke their way down the river in the annual Head of the Charles Regatta. . .

VIX Picks

MIT 31, Stonehill 30: With a standing-room-only crowd on hand for the Beavers' Homecoming game versus No. 10 ranked Stonehill, #69 Neil Best '95 scores the game-winning touchdown on the fumblerooskie play, borrowed from the pages of Nebraska's playbook. Look for the MIT Kazoo Marching Band's inspiring rendition of "Running With The Devil" to propel the Techsters to the upset. . . Penn State 30, BC 13: BC will be too tired to play after spending teh week in the Caribbean celebrating Columbus Day with Pope John Paul II. Even papal blessing will not bring a Cotton Bowl berth to Chestnut Hill. . . Philadelphia 21, Washington 14: Redskins players will remain shaken by the thought that they won't be able to wear $1000 suits and alligator shoes if Perot is elected President. . . Dolphins 48, Pats 12: Patsies hoping for another hurricane to hit Miami so that the game may be cancelled, but know those chances are as likely as Baumann making 2 extra points in a row. . . Raiders 23, Seadoves 4: 'Doves caught watching scoreboard, as Patsies move 11 points ahead in the `Race for Futility'. . . Colts 30, Chargers 20: Chargers threaten to make it a 3-team `race' with Pats and Doves, but score 2 TD's in final minute to vault out of the race.

Last Week: 4-1; Season Record: 9-1.