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Annual Concert in Bad Taste lives up to its name

Concert in Bad Taste
The Chorallaries of MIT.
March 14, 11:59pm, 10-250.
By Bill Jackson
OpinION Editor

Last Saturday, the Chorallaries of MIT once again assaulted the sensibilities of all who dared cram into 10-250 to see their annual "Concert in Bad Taste." For one night each year, the Chorallaries announce a moratorium on sensitivity and go out of their way to offend everyone. No target is sacred, and every subject is treated with equal contempt and wit. This year's show was the funniest in quite some time.

This year's cast of characters was wonderful. "Marsha Brady," "Roseanne Barr," "Little Red Riding Whore," "Wednesday Addams," and "Marge Simpson" made up the Bad Taste identities of various members of the group. Before they could begin singing, one Chorallary shouted, "Wait a minute, where's Waldo?" After a moment's search, "Waldo" was found, wearing his trademark cap and striped shirt and emerging from the audience.

Opening with a variation on "The Muppet Show Theme," the Chorallaries launched into their favorite topic -- sex. "It's time to get the condoms to prevent disease tonight" was a typical refrain. Next came a female in military garb, who presented herself as "Wellesley Woman" and instructed a male to "spell chyck with a y." Next, "Styve Penn G" entered, also requesting a "y" in his name, and wearing a "G" around his neck. Bongos in tow, Penn came to battle "Frat Man," who wore the letters Delta, Iota, and Kappa on his shirt. (If you can't figure it out, ask someone.) Frat Man ultimately won Wellesley Woman's heart with his ability to open a wine cooler.

The next song was an ode to one of Boston's finest home-delivery institutions, the Keg King. The Chorallaries then introduced MIT's newest law enforcement agency, the Harassment Police, who efficiently carried away several offenders during the course of the show.

"Cabdriver in New York," performed to the tune of a well-known song by Sting, contained some of the funniest moments of the evening. Half-sung and half-spoken in a thick New Yawk accent, the song contained memorable lines such as "Ambulances think they own the road," "My family name don't got no vowels," and "I'm color blind so all the lights are green," all leading to the chorus, "I'm an alien, an illegal alien, I'm a cabdriver in New York."

The "advertisements" within the show were also excellent. One was for the talk line 1-900-TECH-SEX, ("Real live women -- sure beats AI!") and another was for protection from computer viruses with condoms over floppy disks ("Even large enough for those of you with 51/4 inch disks.").

A "Battle of the Blondes" sketch asked three contestants to find the "most blonde answer" to a given question. Example -- "What's the most effective form of birth control?" Correct, or at least blondest, answer -- "My boyfriend takes care of it." When a question began "You're drunk at a frat party..." all three contestants screamed "Go to his room! Go to his room!"

Songs like "Thank the lord for DOD" and "Gilligan's Island" (to the tune of "One Tin Soldier") kept the audience laughing. But the show's highlight was Mr. Rogers.

The Mr. Rogers sketch began like any "Mister Rogers Show," with Mr. Rogers taking off his sweater and shoes. In the background, however, "children" were being brought out, bound and gagged. Mr. Rogers proceeded to take off his pants, revealing boxer shorts. Next, off came his shirt, revealing a lovely red lace bra. Underneath his boxer shorts were a pair of matching panties. Red high heels and a cat o' nine tails completed his lovely ensemble.

"Do you want to take the trolley to the land of make believe?" he asked, prompting an immediate and desperate "Nooo!" from his captive "neighbors." He then sang about the people in his neighborhood (the alkie, the hooker) and gave a personal rendition of "Old MacDonald," about a farm where the animals had good reason to say "EIEIO."

Songs about ARA are always winners, and this year was no exception ("I got some szechuan beef from Kowloon / When I got it it was still alive."). And a song about an MIT female who solves her social problems by dating other women was interesting.

The final sketch, "Chuck's World," was hosted by Chuck Vest, and featured an interview with a UA election official and a "revolutionary" obscured by a blue dot. The last song of the regular set, to the tune of "Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard," told of digging up bodies for purposes of, well, you know -- the Chorallaries favorite topic.

The encore included two favorites -- "The Dirty Nerdy Ugly Guy in Course VI-3" and "The Engineer's Drinking Song." They brought the concert to a close on a high note. All in all, this was easily the funniest of the Bad Taste concerts I have seen. If this trend continues, I suggest you line up early for next year's Bad Taste concert or at least catch the Chorallaries at one of their regular concerts, where they are also quite funny -- but tasteful.