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Trying to get lucky at MIT

Column/Steven Wheatman

By light of day, most MIT students confess to being worldly scholars whose greatest aspirations are to either get into graduate school, or to get one hell of a good-paying job.

Yet, what do these engulfers and devourers of college text material do after the sun has set and the problem sets have been punted?

Many of these fiends of the differential equation scramble to the nearest nightclub to, as Loverboy so aptly put it, "Get Lucky."

After paying the highest of cover charges, and doling out twice the cover for a glass of Coke with a splash of rum and finding a stool at the bar whence he or she can eye the night's offerings, this social animal will do just that: Spy, with the intent to "get lucky."

Yet, much to the person's surprise, those spied on are not always in the mood for a sly "come-on." I recently went to a local hotspot to find out exactly what all the fuss was about. Now, first and foremost, I'm no Casanova, or at least I'm not always too successful being one. I can't bring myself to use as suave a line as 007. "Wheatman. Steven Wheatman." It just doesn't work. Too many syllables I guess.

So I casually approached one damsel and over the blaring sounds of the D.J.'s sound machine, graciously screamed, "Come here often?"

"Come on," she replied. "You can do better than that. Try again later."

"Sure thing," I said. I walked away to try with a new unsuspecting victim. I spied her from afar. Her flowing bleached-blonde hair glistened in the black light. She knew her stuff -- she'd been blowing off guys all night, and I knew just the line to throw at her.

"Where have you been all my life," I said with a pleading look in my eyes.

"If I told you that," she said with a look of certainty, "I'd have to find a new hiding place."

Another one bites the dust! I quickly gulped down the last of my rum and coke and made a beeline for the door.

So this is the real world. Maybe staying in the nice protective world of the MIT bubble, would be much safer. Safer, yes, but not very good for a person's social life. For starters, the 3-1 male-female ratio is an unnatural/unhealthy situation.

Additionally, MIT women are not the most physically beautiful women in the world, (note the teeny-weeny bikini picture in the photo essay). Neither are the men. But women still get a lot of attention. Desperation has been stated as the reason for this.

But I believe the reason for this attention is that guys notice the beauty inherent in MIT women, when they are not distracted by those girls who spend hours in the morning making themselves look perfect, those who have cotton candy for brains.

The poor MIT social life has been blamed on time restraints. Having a steady boy/girlfriend takes a lot of time. A steady at another campus takes time both on the phone and travelling. One on campus just takes a lot of time (mind you pleasant time) of togetherness.

Rather than complain about everything, stop a second and consider that girl (or guy) in your lab. While she (or he) may not look like Paulina Porizkova (or Richard Gere), she (or he) certainly is nice, intelligent and sincere. Who needs cotton candy? Go ahead, be a friend.