If you’re going to be oh-so traditional Valentine’s Day next week and take a date out to a movie, here’s a quick list to help you out.
Beautiful Creatures No, it’s for teenagers. Like Twilight.
Bullet to the Head Eh, it’s a run-of-the-mill action movie.
Warm Bodies Sure, a zombie romance could work.
Side Effects No, Channing Tatum and Catherine Zeta Jones in the same movie. Watching two people probably 10 times hotter than you on Valentine’s Day isn’t a good idea.
The Gatekeepers No, documentary about survivors from Israeli security agency doesn’t seem too suitable.
Girls Against Boys No, it’s a poorly reviewed horror movie — better to watch on DVD, on a couch under a blanket.
Identity Thief No, this is goofy crime movie.
Safe Haven Sure, but you should only go for it if you’re into mushy Nicholas Sparks novels.
A Good Day to Die Hard Eh, maybe it’d be an option without a date.
Escape from Planet Earth No, it’s a kid’s movie.
The Haunting in Connecticut 2 No, it’s a tense haunted house movie. We have enough stress in our lives.
… So maybe better to do something else.