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The Daily Confusion

On behalf of The Tech, we’d like to welcome the Class of 2016 to MIT! You’ll find in the following pages the complete, comprehensive guide to this year’s Residence Exploration (REX) events. At MIT, you have the special privilege of choosing which dorm you would like to live in. You should engage as much as possible in the fun events the dorms will host, so you can find the people you will love to hang out with for years to come. Visit other dorms even if you are satisfied in your current assignment, and remember that the people and culture of a dorm matter more than its physical amenities (or lack thereof). I cannot emphasize this enough: the most important decision you will make freshmen year isn’t what classes you’ll take or what major you’ll choose; it’s where you are going to live! That said, switching dorms is more than possible, and don’t forget that the many fraternities, sororities, and independent living groups (FSILGs) will also be recruiting in a couple weeks. You’ll find a similar guide to FSILG events in an upcoming issue. Don’t forget to have fun and pepper the upperclassmen with questions!

Friday,
August 24, 2012

19:17—Random Hall

Deep Fried LN2: What’s cold, sweet, and covered in batter? Deep-fried ice cream! Come marvel at how you can create ice cream that doesn’t melt when fried.

21:00-Maseeh Hall

Movie Marathon <IN 3D>: For those early birds who would like to check out the newest and sweetest home-entertainment system that MIT dorms have to offer, please stop by Masseh Hall’s Media Room and watch a slew of movies with new friends and tons of pizza!

Saturday,
August 25, 2012

00:00

00:00—EAsT camPUS

ONE LAST HURRAH (Kick off REX with us in our courtyard)

01:00

01:30—EAsT camPUS

East Campus: we’re Rushian! (Still going strong working on projects!)

02:00

02:00—EAsT camPUS

As is tradition… (We’re not sure what we’re doing either)

06:00

06:00—Senior Haus

Cum, inside, anytime. We’ll show you the way around. Available all day, all night, ALL REX LONG.

10:00

10:00—Burton Conner

We’re going on an adventure! To a land of joy and joyness and fresh fruit! (Come to Haymarket!)

12:00

12:00—Burton Conner

I do not like them, Sam I am. I do not like green eggs and ham. (You might though.)

12:00—EAsT camPUS

East Campus: If you see the state police, tell them they have the wrong state. (Learn our tried-and-true cop-evasion techniques)

12:00—Senior Haus

Smear your frosting on it, cover it with your sprinkles, stab it with your toothpick. Eat it with your teeth. It will be delicious.

13:00

13:00—EAsT camPUS

Does anyone else think the smells of urine and popcorn are really similar? (Explore smells with East Campus)

13:30—EAsT camPUS

Thanks, CSAIL! (Come build stuff with us.)

14:00

14:00—Simmons Hall

Pasta Eating Contest

14:00—Burton Conner

Food is difficult.

14:17—Random Hall

Letter writing: Come write your first letter to home! There will be stationary and stickers. You can have all the fun, maybe even try your hand at calligraphy.

15:00

15:00—Burton Conner

We’re making pies.

15:01—Burton Conner

Come make a glorious weapon out of pool noodles and duct tape.

15:30—EAsT camPUS

It’s his thinking spot. (Let us grill for you.)

16:00

16:00—New House

Help La Maison Française prepare a scrumptious meal from scratch. Faites bouillir, coupez, faites sauter, and immersion blend with us. Stick around until dinnertime, quand nous mangerons. No kitchen experience required!

16:00—Senior Haus

Bad Ass Beats in the Band Room. Bring your instrument and jramock out with your clamock out.

16:17—Random Hall

Boffing Wars with BC: Burton Connor challenged you to a Duel; you must win to save your honor. It’ll be fun.

16:30—Burton Conner

THIS IS WAR: use your new, glorious pool-noodle-turned-gloriously-decorated-sword to (gently) whack at your friends.

17:00

17:17—Random Hall

Go Chess!: You’ve likely played chess. You may have played go. But have you ever played chess and go simultaneously?

17:30—MacGregor

Shield Building Workshop: Brave freshmen, join us in early water war preparation while we build the Mothertower’s resources. Come make a shield and paint on a coat of arms, your favorite unicode character, whatever. No one wants to be a meat shield!

18:00

18:00—New House

Need to fulfill that desire to NOM? Wanna experiment with an alternative medium? Come chill with us in the NH4 kitchens and create beautiful works of cookie art. Or just come to eat. That’s cool, too.

18:00—Next House

It’s been a long day. Relax with some wings and new friends in the Next House TFL.

18:00—Burton Conner

and now we’re eating them.

18:00—Senior Haus

Give blood to the tree…

18:15—New House

Come eat a home-cooked dinner on la maison! Now Zagat rated…

18:30—EAsT camPUS

EC Rush: We don’t think about the carbon footprint. (Come build stuff with us.)

18:59—New House

Always wanted to fold a crane? Or maybe a stellated icosahedron or a 60-piece buckminsterfullerene? Come learn to fold something, whether you somehow don’t know how to fold a paper airplane (read: had no childhood) or are looking to make and/or contribute to some complicate

19:00

19:00—MacGregor

Fondue Night: Flowing chocolate! Come to MacGregor to feast on delicious cookies and fruit like Augustus Gloop!

19:30—Next House

Try to outwit your new MIT friends in an exciting game of Mafia!

19:30—Burton Conner

Celebrate everything British with tea, fish sticks, and custard. Allons-y!

20:00

20:00—Senior Haus

You are cordially invited to join us for a splendid evening full of tasteful records, sensational billiards, delectable cheeses, and exquisite beverages served in the finest of red plastic cups. Inappropriate attire requested.

20:00—McCormick Hall

Dessert and Game Night: Come, hang out, play board and card games and eat some sweet treats. :)

20:14—EAsT camPUS

Sinks in every room, and at just the right height! (Get a tour of the fine EC amenities.)

20:16—EAsT camPUS

Detroit: the weak shall be eaten. (Come hear stories at East Campus.)

20:16—EAsT camPUS

Drinking water from my East Campus sink: ah, the circle of life. (Lecture on the nitrogen cycle @ EC.)

20:30—Next House

Do you have what it takes to become the best pool player in Next House? Prove it in a friendly team pool tournament in the always active Next House Basement.

21:00

21:00—New House

Need a sugar rush to keep you awake all night? Come and eat through our piles of fudge!

21:00—Senior Haus

Listen to current residents and crufty alums tell tall tales of their times at the Haus. Includes such classics as, “This One Time, We Taped Pubes To That Girl’s Door!” and “Remember When We Colored For KenKen?”

21:00—Simmons Hall

Oobleck Pit Sword Fight

21:09—EAsT camPUS

If you don’t get an English name, you won’t get mail. (Join in the fun at EC!)

21:15—EAsT camPUS

Don’t pee in the wood-shop sink. (Learn how drains work at east campus)

22:00

22:00—Senior Haus

Choose from a selection of films meant to satisfy cult connoisseurs and novices alike. Even if you’ve never heard of “Pulp Fiction” and even if you’ve been obsessed with “Eraserhead” since you were seven.

22:00­—Maseeh Hall

Epic Ice Cream Game Night: What better way of getting to know your new classmates than to find out who is that best at…! Whether it is video games, board games or card games, stop by Masseh’s Game Room and try playing something you are good at or learn a new game (wishing for beginners luck). Win awesome prizes and get a brain freeze eating ice cream and drinking floats!

23:00

23:00—Simmons Hall

Icebreaker!

23:00—EAsT camPUS

Beyond those transparent horiayeayeayeayeayeayeayeayeayeayeayeizons. (Come see what makes EC so…unique.)

23:58—EAsT camPUS

Hi everybody! (You shouldn’t be in the courtyard anymore.)

23:59—EAsT camPUS

Mengrrrh… (No, really, go away.)

Sunday,
August 26, 2012

00:00

00:00—Burton Conner

Let’s get down to business / and sing EVERY DISNEY SONG we can think of!

00:17—Random Hall

Chess is a Game Best Played with Nerf Guns: Tired of the same old, boring game of chess? No more! Now, just shoot your opponent to stop them from making moves. Nerf guns will be provided.

00:47—Random Hall

Adventures in Neverland: Never grow up! Peter Pan fights pirates, chills with mermaids and argues with fairies. We eat all of our favorite childhood snacks!

03:00

03:00—Burton Conner

Yes, we’re still singing.

03:03—EAsT camPUS

MMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOEEEE JoeJESUS THE RIDE (We’re chilling out talking about the good ole days.)

03:17—Random Hall

RHOP — Random House of Pancakes. Why are we up this late? To feed you pancakes of course! Pancakes pancakes pancakes pancakes pancakes pancakes pancakes. Wow, pancakes is a really weird looking word.

04:00

04:00—EAsT camPUS

She wouldn’t let me go to bed. (The rest of us are awake anyways.)

04:10—EAsT camPUS

Oooh, someone drew a cock on my wall. (Come see what “art” means at EC.)

06:00

06:00—Senior Haus

Already broke the November Rule?

09:00

09:17—Random Hall

More breakfast than your body has room for! — Read the title. You’re all bright kids.

10:00

10:00—Burton Conner

An omelette walks into a bar… #eggs #bacon #cheese

11:00

11:00—McCormick Hall

Taste of Cambridge: Come enjoy food from some of the many cultures represented in McCormick and learn about some of the great restaurants around the Cambridge area.

11:00—Next House

Start your experience at MIT right with some tasty food in the beautiful Next House courtyard. Enjoy music, outdoor activities, and get to know the Next House culture.

11:00—Simmons Hall

Carnival

11:00—New House

Feeling hungry for some delicious French food? Look no further. La Maison Francaise has crepes; so many crepes, in fact, that we can’t eat them all ourselves. Come join us for some delicious homemade crepes and yummy toppings, just in time for lunch!

11:17—Random Hall

Did You Say Disney!? You just can’t wait to be King. No one will tell you no, or where to go, or say you’re only dreaming. Come to Loop to rediscover tales as old as time and songs as old as rhyme. We don’t mind if you sing along. We know all of the words, too.

11:30—EAsT camPUS

The first lady benches 180 (And the president is lighting the grill now.)

11:30—EAsT camPUS

Oh look ­— a common grackle! (Birdwatching with Pat)

11:55—EAsT camPUS

The Daily Confusion is dedicated to Joshua Bails, class of 2011? Nope. 2012? Nope. 2013? We love you granddad! (Come meet him at the grills!)

12:00

12:00—Burton Conner

What’s that you say? Water war is Tuesday? No, shut up. We’re building weaponry now.

12:00—EAsT camPUS

Yellow hardhats: so we know who’s in charge. (Help us build shit.)

12:00—Senior Haus

Tie a ribbon between two trees, walk across it step by careful step, and don’t, ever, lose, your, balance.

12:02—EAsT camPUS

1/4” plywood would have been cheaper… (We’re still building shit?)

12:17—Random Hall

Mexican Roulette: One out of six quesadillas has more hot sauce than any reasonable person would put in their mouth. The question is: are you feeling lucky?

12:30—Simmons Hall

Grill, Fill and Chill

12:45—EAsT camPUS

“I don’t know what Pat’s talking about.” “WHAT?!?” (Join the lawn-chair coalition in the courtyard.)

12:47—Random Hall

Duct Tape Construction: Come make things out of the most awesome material know to peoplekind!

13:00

13:00—New House

Have you ever made a bubble with your hands? How about a giant one? Now you have no excuses, come learn how with German House!

13:00—Baker House

Baker House Tours: Come find out what it’s like to live in the #1 most popular dorm on campus! Get the inside scoop from our residents as you see our architectural landmark of a home and enjoy a taste of hand scooped ice cream!

13:00—New House

You have an imagination! We have polymer clay! LET’S DO THIS!

13:00—Burton Conner

Tired of burgers? We have ribs.

13:30—EAsT camPUS

The EC Rush food budget: 60% Greek yogurt (Come dine with us.)

13:30—New House

Calling all hilariously terrible artists… ;)

13:31—EAsT camPUS

0g fat, 7g carbs, 24g protein in 1 8 oz. serving — no wonder we have so many concrete blocks! (Now do some heavy lifting!)

13:32—EAsT camPUS

More protein than Pat McDaniel! (Pat isn’t going to help you lift anything, though.)

13:47—Random Hall

Crochet and Tea: Yarn + hook -> clothes! and tea! Learn how to crochet! Drink tea!

14:00

14:00—McCormick Hall

Smoothies! — We’ve raided Haymarket so we’ve got tons of fruit and ice cream. Come show us your mad blending skills by designing your own concoction.

14:00—Senior Haus

Your skin is too opaque.

14:17—Random Hall

Liquid Nitrogen Ice Cream: Served steaming cold.

14:40—EAsT camPUS

The police noticed our 24-foot structure might collapse onto our car. They told us to move the car. (More things to build!)

14:47—Random Hall

CHEESE: Swiss Cheddar Brie Cottage Parmigiano Reggiano Gouda Chevre Camembert Provolone Ricotta Colby Jack Pepper Jack Monterey Jack Mozzarella Muenster Blue Havarti Limburger Feta. In the Black Hole Kitchen.

15:00

15:00—Senior Haus

Go on a field trip to the Garment District to pick up clothes for screen-printing and tie-dyeing. At this used-clothing store, you can buy a pound of clothes for only ONE DOLLAH FITTIE.

15:00—MacGregor

EVERYTHING AWESOME ALL THE TIME ALWAYS: Ice cream truck. Bouncy castle. Snow cones. Dunk tank. Puppies. What do these things have in common? They are awesome. The only thing that could make this event more awesome is you (and all of your new friends)! Be there!

15:00—Next House

Come create your own tie dye shirt, enjoy the sound system of the Next House Courtyard, and get some exercise with Frisbee, football, and American football!

15:00—Burton Conner

What color is your hair? It probably needs more rainbow.

15:01—Burton Conner

Bring your orientation shirts! White is boring. Rainbow is the best color.

15:47—Random Hall

MORE COLORS THAN YOUR HAIR HAS ROOM FOR! Need more color in your hair? We can fix that!

15:47—Random Hall

Random Jewelry Making: Store bought jewelry is so last season. All the cool kids are wearing toothbrushes and discarded electrical components.

16:00

16:00—New House

Help La Maison Française prepare a scrumptious meal from scratch. Faites bouillir, coupez, faites sauter, and immersion blend with us. Stick around until dinnertime, quand nous mangerons. No kitchen experience required!

16:00—Burton Conner

Help us paint our walls; they need rainbow too…

16:01—EAsT camPUS

This burger tastes like lighter fluid… as is tradition! (Eat our food.)

16:17—Random Hall

Rocky Horrible’s Singalong Blog: Think Dr. Horrible is a beautiful, amazing, inviolable work of perfect art? Please, please please go somewhere else. Anyone else? Come join us in yelling obscenities at a perfectly nice Sing-Along Blog that has done absolutely nothing to deserve it

17:00

17:00—Senior Haus

If you’d rather eat out Ken than Barbie that’s cool too… plus, tireswinging.

17:17—Random Hall

Nerf Wars: Negotiations have failed. The shooting has begun. Both sides have vowed to fight to the death, and now the moment of glory is at hand. Do you have what it takes to be a hero?

17:17—Random Hall

DFTBA: Come watch a few vlogbrothers videos and talk about how awesome nerdfighteria never forgets to be.

17:30—Next House

Taste a delicious Vegetarian dinner for both meat lovers and veggie lovers, all prepared by the Next House student group, Next Sustain. This is not a meal to be missed.

17:47—Random Hall

Juggling in Enclosed Spaces: What’s more fun that throwing brightly colored objects at people? Doing it at the same time as fifteen other people all packed into a small lounge. Come juggle with us! Don’t know how? We’re happy to teach you!

18:00

18:00—Senior Haus

Give blood to the tree.

18:00—Baker House

Housemasters Parents Reception: Hear from Baker Housemasters Jeff and Barbara Hoffman about student live at MIT and in Baker House. Get your questions answered and mingle with the Housemasters and current Baker residents. Dessert and coffee will be served.

18:07—EAsT camPUS

The Course 6 majors know to use 3/4” plywood. (Help us build or help us bitch — your choice.)

18:15—New House

Come eat a home-cooked dinner on la maison! Now Zagat rated…

20:00

20:00—New House

This ain’t your grandma’s game night, and there will be snacks! Warning: some German Housers may be incredibly competitive Uno players.

20:00—McCormick Hall

Fondue Party: Melted chocolate and plenty of fruit and sweets to dip, what’s not to like?

20:00—Burton Conner

Do you sing, dance, or play music? It’s our jam too.

20:15—EAsT camPUS

32 Rush burgers and counting! (Grills are still hot — come get your burgers!)

20:16—EAsT camPUS

“I don’t want any red drank in my apple juice!” “Where are your standards?” (You can’t have any red drank, but you can have some lemonade.)

20:17—Random Hall

Roofdeck BBQ: Meat! Ribs, sausage, pulled pork, and more! Come eat, talk, eat, and see the awesomness of having a roofdeck. And eat! Food of the non-meat variety to be served as well.

20:17—Random Hall

Let’s build a fort! Build the finest, strongest pillow-based fortification in all the land.

20:30—Next House

You’ve mastered all the levels on Angry Birds on your smart phone… now see if you can master the game in real life.

20:59—New House

Dominion (Base, Intrigue, Seaside, Prosperity)•Settlers of Catan•Carcassone•Apples to Apples•Bananagrams•Set•Catchphrase•3D Twister•Innovation•Space Alert•Quiddler•Xactika•Five Crowns•Pentago•Blokus•Anomia•Bang•Rock Band!!

21:00

21:00—Senior Haus

punxxx out ur clothes (bring your own shirt to print, we provide ink, apparatus, and stencil stuff)

21:00—Simmons Hall

Game Night

21:00—New House

You watch those movies just so you can sing along. So skip the movies and just sing the songs with us! No musical ability required.

21:17—Random Hall

Edible Knot Theory! Knot theory is the branch of mathematics which dealing with the different ways that you can embed a circle into R^3 it provides an important set of examples for topology and is a popular area of mathematical research. Candy is a delicious substance, usual

22:00

22:00—Senior Haus

punxxx out ur clothes (bring your own shirt to print, we provide ink, apparatus, and stencil stuff)

22:00—Burton Conner

Tetris: DDR version.

22:00—New House

Will you succumb to Kirby’s vortex mouth or get rolled into a katamari??? ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.

22:00—Baker House

Stargazing: Join the Baker residents and a former astronaut and his wife (and Baker Housemasters), Jeff and Barbara Hoffman, as we admire the constellations from our rooftop. Make sure to ask Jeff about his time as an astronaut while you snack on our evening treats!

22:00—Next House

Come make an LED strobe light from scratch with the help of the Next House student group, Next Make. Embrace the MIT way of life by creating your own inventions rather than buying objects from the store!

22:15—EAsT camPUS

Thomas the Tank Engine: still chugging along. (Watch him go!)

22:17—Random Hall

Crazy Chess Variants: Test your dexterity, sanity, and possibly even chess skill with some of our favorite, wacky variations on chess.

23:00

23:00—EAsT camPUS

Let’s build an igloo! How about a zillion?! (Who knows what we’re building at this point, but you can help regardless.)

23:04—EAsT camPUS

I would like to tell Kayla to be extra nice to Thomas tonight. (Watch him go!)

23:10—EAsT camPUS

Course 2: Clearly all you guys learn is how to hit on freshman girls. (You can climb on the fort, but it’s at your own peril.)

23:17—Random Hall

All the ponies in this town are CRAZY. Do you like ponies? I like ponies. Do you like friendship? I like friendship. Do you like magic? I like magic. Also, cupcakes.

23:59—Senior Haus

Vicious. Delicious. Tastes like chicken.

23:59—Next House

Hungry? We’ve got what you need. With a variety of pancake ingredients, all of these pancakes are made personally for you in the Next House Country Kitchen.

Monday,
August 27, 2012

00:00

00:00—Burton Conner

Lasers. At midnight. Shoot your friends. Shoot your enemies. Shoot your frenemies.

00:01—EAsT camPUS

He doesn’t know the Russian word for fun because there isn’t one. (Come learn Cyrillic!)

01:00

01:00—New House

Just finished partying? Stop by House 2 and grab some early morning breakfast before heading to sleep (if you even plan on sleeping). Pancakes, waffles, fruit, bacon, sausage…we’ve got it and you know you want it!

01:00—EAsT camPUS

Guys, you can’t make fun of Laura anymore. (You can, though — try it and see!)

01:17—Random Hall

ALL OF TIME AND SPACE! Come along frosh! There will be foods related to your favorite Doctor. There might be foods that are a little wibbly-wobbly, like time! (…Or jello! Thyme flavored jello?)

01:30—EAsT camPUS

This is unbecoming of a common grackle fan! (More birdwatching with Pat — yeah whatever we don’t care what time it is.)

01:45—EAsT camPUS

You don’t get Rush. You don’t get EAsT camPUS. And no one gets you. (We’re headed to the bear cave now, but come say goodbye first!)

03:00

03:00—Burton Conner

Monday morning mafia and muffins! Mmm, alliteration is delicious.

03:17—Random Hall

RHOP: Random House of Pancakes: I’m a delicious warm pancake smothered in maple syrup. Bite me. We have almost as many pancakes as the International House of Pancakes, and you don’t have to drive to get here. See how much maple syrup you can fit on one plate.

06:00

06:00—Senior Haus

Already broke the November Rule?

08:00

08:00—New House

Just waking up/heading to sleep? Craving delicious smoothies and pancakes? Not enough bacon in your diet? The awesome residents of New House will be serving up breakfast, so come get some!

08:30—Next House

Start the day off right with some tasty breakfast, served to you with a smile (:

09:00

09:00—Burton Conner

BACON BACON BACON

10:00

10:00—EAsT camPUS

I’m going to be up at 10 am just like any fucking morning. (Hahahaha no one is awake who are we kidding.)

10:00—Senior Haus

Make yourself a new face, one that not even a mother could love. ALL DAY LONG.

10:10—EAsT camPUS

We don’t know what happened that Housecomm. (But come see the results!)

10:17—Random Hall

Waffles and Smoothies: Perhaps one of the greatest food combinations known to mankind, threatening to eclipse even the illustrious chocolate-and-strawberries combination. But we’ll have those here too.

11:00

11:30—EAsT camPUS

NOT THE DOUCHEPAD (Yet another day has begun.)

11:35—EAsT camPUS

Come to East Campus to learn exotic mating techniques all the way from South Carolina! (i.e. the grills are lit)

12:00

12:00—EAsT camPUS

This is unbecoming of a common grackle fan! (Don’t feed your burger to the birds!)

12:30—Random Hall

Housemaster Welcome Brunch: Our housemasters are the BEST! Go meet them and eat yummy food :)

12:46—EAsT camPUS

“Penis penis penis penis penis penis goose motherfucker” — James OstrovoskiIDon’tKnowTheLastNameUnkle (Lawnchairs are out! Let the bitching begin!)

13:00

13:25—EAsT camPUS

JoeG said we could. (If he keeps his word we’ll have painting for you to do.)

13:30—Maseeh Hall

Maseeh Balloon Art in the courtyard.

14:00

14:00—EAsT camPUS

Let me go get my winch! (Oh god no please help us distract him.)

14:00—Burton Conner

Grab a freezie pop and some lemonade on your way to the math diagnostic!

14:01—EAsT camPUS

How do you spell “winch?” (Now that you know Cyrillic, it’s time for English lessons!)

14:17—Random Hall

Dominate Dominion: Dominion, the (many) award winning game by Donald X is one of the best modern games ever created. If you’ve never played before come learn the rules if you’ve played a lot... well people here have probably played more. (We have more than a few 1000+ game alums in the dorm). So join us, and find your newest time-sink.

16:00

16:00—Burton Conner

Hopscotch! Jumprope! Sidewalk fractals!

16:00—McCormick Hall

Picture Scavenger Hunt: Divide into teams to see who can be the first to snap a picture with everything on our list!

16:00—New House

Interested in seeing where some of the coolest people at MIT live? Want to know how we have epic food without a dining plan? Come to the Taste of New House and sample the culinary expertise of the New House Residents from every corner of the world (except Antarctica).

16:00—Maseeh Hall

MASEEH FLOOR EVENTS LED BY GRTS

16:01—Senior Haus

Picture yourself in a boat on a river, with tangerine trees and marmalade skies. (bring your own clothing to dye)

16:17—Random Hall

It’s BACON! Bacon… Bacon! Where’s the bacon?! I smell bacon! Bacon. Bacon. Gotta be Bacon. Only one thing smells like bacon and that’s BACON!

16:17—Random Hall

Liquid Nitrogen Ice Cream: Don’t try this at Harvard.

16:17—Random Hall

Tea and Math: Tea is Warm, cookies are sweat, Math is beautiful. Come enjoy all 3!

16:30—EAsT camPUS

East Campus: That wall was never there. (Your job will probably be to put *up* walls, though.)

16:40—EAsT camPUS

East Campus: Just like any other dorm except for all that UFO shit. (Start making your some of your own!)

17:00

17:17—Random Hall

Nerdy Singalong: It’s hard to overstate my satisfaction with how much this event is fulfilling in creative way. If hopes and dreams are shattering apart, remember it’s gonna be the future soon, so apply forgetful functors to the past and be still alive.

19:00

19:00—New House

The night is so very young, you’re hungry, you wanna meet some cool MIT people and play some fun games. House 2’s got the burgers, hot dogs, some fun desserts, drinks, and games. Come enjoy it all with us in the New House Courtyard with a beautiful view of the Charles River.

19:00—New House

We’ll have seasons and seasons of German Housers’ favorite TV series. Come watch way too many episodes before you get distracted by PSETS!

19:00—New House

Lions and tigers and smoothies, oh my! Come relax with NH4 and show off your origami skillz while sipping on smoothies. Fun is mandatory, skillz are optional.

19:00—Burton Conner

Muffin madness — bake ALL the muffins!

19:01—Senior Haus

Drink fruit smoothies and carouse with the fruitiest Senior Haus residents, hayyy!!! ;) Many sizes of sausage served. Plus, tireswinging.

19:13—EAsT camPUS

“Lady juices” is a Canadian colloquialism for lemonade. We don’t know what all the hoopla was about. (We have lots of good stories. Have a seat and listen.)

19:17—Random Hall

The Delectable Dessert Pizzaria: Tired of regular old boring pizza? Tired of bland, unadventurous desserts? Well it’s time for you to try Dessert Pizza! Come make your very own delectable doughy creation, full of sugar and spice and everything delicious!

19:17—Random Hall

Random Hallsmeade: It’s not quite Hogsmeade, but it’s close. Come taste a few of the yummy treats you read about while we join together in our collective quest to destroy the dark lord. Butterbeer will be served.

19:33—New House

S’moresssssssss (please come and help us eat our marshmallows and chocolate)

19:47—Random Hall

(Almost) Life-Sized Settlers of Catan: Come play (almost) life-sized Settlers of Catan! Hoard sheep, wheat, iron, and brick! Trade them with your neighbors or foil their plans and keep everything for yourself. Build roads, villages, and cities!

20:00

20:00—MacGregor

We have Chipotle, a piñata, and a PVC bat. What could possibly go wrong?

20:00—McCormick Hall

Arts & Crafts: The awesome GRTs of McCormick are hosting an arts and crafts night. Come decorate a tote bag or make something cool to hang on your door.

20:00—New House

FOOD. LOTS OF IT. PROBABLY TOO MUCH. THIS IS NOT A SUSTAINABLE LIFESTYLE.

20:16—EAsT camPUS

Vinayak took down that wall in 2002. (Come to see to try and catch a rare glance of Uncle Vinny.)

20:17—Random Hall

Boffing on the Roofdeck: Nothing says, “Hey, let’s be friends” like a foam sword to the abdomen.

20:30—Maseeh Hall

Maseeh Carnival Party

20:30—Burton Conner

Muffin madness — eat ALL the muffins that we just baked!

20:30—Next House

Kick back and relax in the newly renovated Next House Courtyard. Enjoy a movie played on a giant screen and s’mores cooked to perfection on a cool Boston night.

20:30—Senior Haus

All of us are naked under our clothes. Celebrate the human body. Beginning drawers welcome. (Charcoal, drawing paper, live model provided.) And holy shit, be on time.

21:00

21:17—Random Hall

Chain Mail: Learn to weave metal into chains and fabrics! Make armor worthy of the thirteenth century! Also suitable for badass jewelry.

21:47—Random Hall

Youtube! From autotuned news to vlogs to Minute Physics to memes to Watsky - come celebrate the youtubes!

22:00

22:00—New House

GUYS, WE STILL HAVE TOO MUCH FOOD LEFT. EAT IT AND WATCH ANIME THAT WILL BLOW YOUR MIND, OKAY?

22:00—New House

Part 2 of our overwhelming event — a continuation from CPW — we are STILL eating and playing games, so come join us and be overwhelmed by too much delicious food, and lots of board, card, and video games.

22:00—Baker House

Skyline: Come dive into orientation with the largest party of REX at the most social dorm on campus! Over 500 people last year! Party with your fellow freshmen and residents of Baker House!

22:01—Senior Haus

Whether you came with a purpose or you’re here by accident, you’re now part of the Struggle Bus.

22:17—Random Hall

CS and Juice: You walk down the isle at Shaw’s, trying to pick the optimal set of juices to buy. You can’t buy pomegranate juice without buying something sweeter to mix it with, like apple or orange, but if you buy orange juice, you wouldn’t buy orange mango as well… uh

23:00

23:03—EAsT camPUS

East Campus: No, it’s a fucking shithole, I’ve been there. (Tours are probably done for the day. Also it’s our party now.)

23:30—New House

Anyone longing for a WOMBO COMBO?! Stop by NH4 5th floor to pig out on finger foods and all the Smash Bros you could ever want.

23:53—EAsT camPUS

EAsT camPUS — too many cheesy snacks. (EC makes you fat, apparently — stop by and see.)

23:59—Next House

Still awake with nothing to do? Come create your own pie in the Next House Country Kitchen, or enjoy some of the freshly made pizza.

Tuesday,
August 28, 2012

00:00

00:00—Burton Conner

You like frisbee? You’ll like it more now that it glows in the dark.

00:00—New House

What makes a better late night snack than the breakfast food you’ll miss by oversleeping? Come enjoy all your breakfast favorites and chat with German House.

01:00

01:00—EAsT camPUS

East Campus: H. B. Cuthbertson welcomes you. (Ask Pat about him. Actually just ask Pat about everything.)

01:00—EAsT camPUS

East Campus: No vacancy (Come to EC and see if *you* can get he police called on you.)

01:47—Random Hall

Spontaneous Dessert Assemblage: Try combining Nutella, peanut butter, and bananas. Create a marshmallow-cemented structure of graham crackers and Twizzlers as a standing testament to your glory — until devoured. Or just fry things and see what’s delicious. Bring your creativity — we’ve got the food

02:00

02:00—Burton Conner

Coloring, telephone pictionary, and noms.

02:02—EAsT camPUS

It’s older than you. You listen to that protein. (Party cleanup time — it’s probably boring but you can help if you want.)

02:05—EAsT camPUS

We need fewer inside jokes in these, you know? (More stories at EC!)

03:00

03:17—Random Hall

Pillow fight of DOOM! I regret that I only have one life to give for this pillow fight.

08:00

08:00—Next House

Pick out your own fresh fruit to make the smoothie of your dreams to start the day off right.

08:00—New House

Just waking up/heading to sleep? Craving delicious smoothies and pancakes? Not enough bacon in your diet? The awesome residents of New House will be serving up breakfast, so come get some!

09:00

09:00—Simmons Hall

Pancake Breakfast

09:00—McCormick Hall

Morning Run: Morning bridge loop led by McCormick residents

09:00—Simmons Hall

Design the Simmons Machine of War

09:30—Burton Conner

What did one pancake say to the other? See you on the flip side! :D

09:47—Random Hall

AHHHHHHHH the pancakes are attacking! We didn’t know, how could we have known? The pancakes were ALIVE. You are humanities last hope! You must eat the pancakes and save the cheerleader (and we all know saving the cheerleader saves the world). Join the small surviving resistance in celebrating a battle recently won over our pancake foes. What better way to celebrate victory than eating your enemy? Vegan Friendly.

10:00

10:00—Baker House

Sunrise: The sun really rises at 6:05 AM, but that’s too early for us. Come enjoy our beautiful million-dollar view of the Boston Skyline from our rooftop while you eat breakfast and chat with Baker residents. Our freshly squeezed orange juice and freshly baked waffles will

10:17—Random Hall

Super Powered Marathon! Feel like a kid again and watch some of our favorite super hero cartoons!

11:00

11:15—EAsT camPUS

If you take my wood I will pressure treat your ass. (You can grill all you want, but don’t use Pat’s wood.)

11:40—EAsT camPUS

EAsT camPUS — CAUTION, LEADership HAZARD (There are way too many penises in the courtyard right now. Advance with caution.)

11:45—EAsT camPUS

Pat you motherfucker, we don’t have any entries for the past hour because you’re fucking around. (Come be entertained by Pat, as long as he’s not still hiding in the basement.)

11:47—Random Hall

Random: The Gathering: The Draft. Come draft our custom Magic: The Gathering set with our resident Magic players. If you’ve never cast Global Thermonuclear War, now’s a good time.

11:47—Random Hall

Wrapping Random Noms: Wrap fillings in wrappers. Eat. Possibly nutritionally balanced. Omnivore, vegetarian, and vegan friendly.

11:49—EAsT camPUS

What’s your favorite kind of pickle? (You can get more than just burgers at East Campus for lunch)

12:00

12:00—EAsT camPUS

Dill. (Ready for lunch? Come over to the EC courtyard)

12:02—EAsT camPUS

EAsT camPUS - nitrates totally aren’t hydrocarbons (Get a tour of east campus. Now)

12:17—Random Hall

Classy Tea: Join the lovely folk of Random for a pleasant tea. We’ll have tea and all sorts of sweets, presented in the most adorable manner. Think Working!! With a little bit of OHSHC. We are not, to our own disappointment, a devil of a butler. We do entertain at your leisure, so come by Random Hall.

12:30—New House

Marvel characters are awesome! We’ll be watching any of the following at any given time between 12:30pm and 6:30pm: Iron Man, Iron Man 2, The Incredible Hulk, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Thor, Captain America: The First Avenger.

12:30—New House

Balloons + Darts = Art?? Express your creative side and get a bit of dart throwing target practice with NH4 while decorating an art canvas with paint-filled balloons. WARNING: AWESOMENESS MAY ENSUE.

12:30—Burton Conner

Help us ready our flags (and our ammo) for battle! And paint your own coat of arms.

12:31—Senior Haus

Tea, crumpets, and mad hatters. Celebrate MIT’s inevitable joi de vivre. How far down the rabbit hole are you willing to go?

13:00

13:00—New House

You don’t need to understand German to hear the incest! Or, if you’re not interested in incest, come snack, hang out, and ask any questions you may have about MIT life.

13:00—McCormick Hall

McCormick Carnival: Eat cotton candy or grab a snow cone while reliving your childhood with face painting, hopscotch and playground games like duck duck goose and sharks and minnows!

13:00—Next House

Objective: Conquer the enemy base. You have a limited amount of time to navigate through Next House and find and eliminate the enemy before the enemy finds you. Good luck.

13:17—Random Hall

Make your own Truffles: Chocolate with raspberry! Chocolate with vanilla! Chocolate with spices! Chocolate with mushrooms! Wait…

13:37—EAsT camPUS

I’m not sure I appreciate you rubbing my knee and stroking my head at the same time…at EAsT camPUS (See if you can eat a burger at the same time too)

13:47—Random Hall

ASSCARS: The Destiny Dune Buggy Challenge Old Toroidal Hallways + Electric Buggy + Freshmen + A few bandaids and maybe a helmet = Safer than most EC events

14:00

14:00—Senior Haus

Celebrate the cuming of the spring through this fertility-dance-and-fingerpaint-your-neighbor’s-bellybutton-pink. Powdered tempera paint or liquid, pick your poison.

14:00—EAsT camPUS

James is not a nudist — I’ve seen him naked one time. (Sit with us in our fort)

14:00—Simmons Hall

Grill, Fill and Chill

14:47—Random Hall

PREPARE FOR WAR: Come join the Random faction as we prepare to march to victory at the water wars! Cover yourself in war-paint! Prepare flying aqueous projectiles! Create funnelators of doom and deathiness! Unleash your inner berserker! Bwuahahahaha.

15:00

15:00—Maseeh Hall

Maseeh Outside BBQ

15:00—EAsT camPUS

Thomas J Wilkason: rookie of the year. (Meet our ambitious sophomores in the courtyard)

15:00—New House

Do you sing well? Do you sing not so well? Well, either way, we don’t care! IT’S GONNA BE AN UNFORGETTABLE EXPERIENCE FOR EVERYONE’S EARS! MWAHAHA!

15:00—EAsT camPUS

EAsT camPUS — http://tinyurl.com/JoeJesus (Learn about history from Josh in the courtyard)

15:30—New House

Dreamed of eating l’arc de triomphe? Construct your own edible monument or fortress et puis mange ton chef d’ouvre.

15:30—Next House

Prepare for battle against East Campus in this year’s WATER WAR!

15:30—Senior Haus

“FILL’R UP, JIM!” “I’ll give you thirty gallons, Betsy!” “Oh, dear Jim, my heart is thumping in anticipation for the dramatic fight that will commence in a mere thirty minutes!”

16:00

16:00—EAsT camPUS

Come break up with your high school girlfriend at EAsT camPUS (Pat will even give you tissues and ice cream)

16:47—Random Hall

You were probably spelling bee champions in elementary school. We know the type - didn’t miss a single letter in ”Czechoslovakia”, never lost your patience when the kid in front of you had to spell “popcorn” when you had to spell “paideia”. Are you ready for a challenge of a different sort? Instead of struggling through “appoggiatura”, prepare yourselves for questions ranging from “write a function that searches through an array for the first element greater than both of its neighbors” to “”write a recursive descent parser for the following DSL…” That’s not hard enough, you say? Fine. Now you have to spell your program out loud. Not enough? Live audience! Fearlessly code in front of your new peers, earning the respect and accolades you surely deserve. Come one, come all, and prove your programming prowess in the Python Bee.

17:00

17:00—Burton Conner

You’re tired from water war. Celebrate by eating ice cream.

17:00—Maseeh Hall

Water War

17:17—Random Hall

Have you noticed that burritos often have structural failures? Have you come to accept that there will always be some probability of failure? If so you should consider how to best tolerate those faults! If you want to learn about how to tolerate N faults with 3N+1 Byzantine Generals…I mean Burritos…then this is the event for you! Come eat guacamole, southwest chile sauce, rice, bell peppers all with the assurance that we will properly handle failures! Vegan Friendly.

18:00

18:00—EAsT camPUS

I’m not trying to massage your feet; I’m trying to tickle them — robj (Our fort has couches, sit them them)

18:30—Random Hall

Tuesday Night Talk. Secretly this is TNT. But there won’t be any explosions. This is to teach you how not to explode at MIT and Random. It’s going to be great. Seriously.

20:00

20:00—New House

Haven’t had nearly enough free food yet? Of course you haven’t! Come overload yourself with chocolatey goodness. We’ll have real German chocolate and even a chocolate fountain!

20:00—MacGregor

Come to the MacGregor Rec Room for Games Night, where there will be tons of entertainment! Poker, billiards, darts, air hockey, ping pong, Rock Band, card games, board games!

20:00—Burton Conner

Butterbeirut and quidditch

20:00—Next House

Missed your first chance to create an amazing strobe light with Next Make? This is your opportunity to join the members of Next Make for a round two of designing and soldering circuits.

20:00—EAsT camPUS

East Campus: the moistest dorm. (Ask for a tour of our basement)

20:00—Simmons Hall

Make your own Ice cream Sandwich

20:00—McCormick Hall

Old School Night: Come hang out with us, watch classic 90s movies, and eat all the best snacks from our childhood like Dunkaroos and fruit snacks.

20:00—Senior Haus

You’ve been told “how not.” We’re here to tell you “how to.” Our resident experts have left no crevice unexplored and no knot untied. They’re willing to tell you all about their sex lives. MORE SEX THAN YOUR BODY CAN HANDLE.

20:16—EAsT camPUS

He was a h8cker boi, she said see ya l8er, boi. (Sing songs in the courtyard)

20:17—Random Hall

Minihunt: Can’t wait till January for the MIT Mystery Hunt? Now you don’t have to! We’ve got a puzzle hunt right here at Random Hall, to satisfy your eager brains.

20:17—Random Hall

Smoothies and Boba and Tea! Oh My! Want smoothies? Want tea? Want smoothies made of tea? Want boba in your smoothies? Come to Random to make your own refreshments!

20:17—Random Hall

A Primer on Time Travel: This is the event where you learned how to time travel. But you probably know that already; the version of you reading this description has already attended this event at REX only to travel backwards in time, where you’re now experiencing REX a second time (Or is it a third?).

20:17—Random Hall

Make Your Own Virus Plushie: Come learn how to sew your own hepatitis B virus plushie! All materials needed to make the plushie will be provided. Curious what exactly a plush hepatitis B virus looks like?

20:53—New House

Dominion (Base, Intrigue, Seaside, Prosperity)•Settlers of Catan•Carcassone•Apples to Apples•Bananagrams•Set•Catchphrase•3D Twister•Innovation•Space Alert•Quiddler•Xactika•Five Crowns•Pentago•Blokus•Anomia•Bang•Rock Band!!

21:00

21:17—Random Hall

Spinning on the Roofdeck: Learn and practice the creativity of applying centripetal force to poi and staff.

21:47—Random Hall

Time Travel: Paradoxes and Models. Killing your grandparents isn’t so bad in some models of time travel. Come talk about such paradoxes and how to resolve them. Safety not guaranteed.

22:00

22:00—Next House

Wrap up REX right by spending it with the student group Next Gamers. Beat your friends in Super Smash Bros, outwit opponents in Poker, and listen to your favorite band in surround sound all while becoming a part of Next House.

22:00—MacGregor

Dancing and LAZERZ. We’ll be here until 1 am in our Courtyard, will you?

22:00—EAsT camPUS

Have you ever seen a barefoot police officer? Think about it. (Put on your closed toed shoes and come to the Courtyard)

22:00—Burton Conner

SUGAR HIGH: the only thing sweeter than all the candy is the beat of the sweet, sweet bass!

22:00—EAsT camPUS

I probably never tried a sweet pickle by accident. (Forage for food in the talbot kitchen)

22:01—EAsT camPUS

I never tried them, ‘cause… I just didn’t want to try them. (Eat our food in the courtyard)

22:17—Random Hall

Sweet Rave Party Rave-An underground party in which electronic music is played, dancing occurs in a very free-form fashion. The dress of the partygoers is quite unrestrained. — Urban Dictionary

23:00

23:00—Maseeh Hall

Chocolate Galore

23:00—EAsT camPUS

Wood shingles and 6x6es. This is a bad idea. (Get a practical modern joinery lesson from James in the courtyard

23:11—Senior Haus

Thousands of rainbow spheres rain from the very heavens downward, impacting the earth as meteors in miniature. They’re bouncy. They’re balls. And they’re dropping on you. No cameras.

23:17—Random Hall

S’mores: Gooey, crunchy, chocolatey goodness.

23:59—Senior Haus

Confess your sins and receive Communion. Allow our holy ministers to heal your wretched soul.

23:59—EAsT camPUS

I just want a piece of meat instead of a fucking ball […] — Robert Johnson (Eat a rush burger at Eat Campus)

Wednesday,
August 29, 2012

00:00

00:00—New House

Watch the Houses of New House battle it out at the ultimate baking contest. Leave with a taste of sweet goodness in your mouth!

00:17—Random Hall

Sleeper’s Anonymous: Sleep is an addiction. The first step towards overcoming your addiction is admitting you have a problem. Sleepers Anonymous is a support group formed to help people like you overcome this addiction. Come, and we will all fight it together.

00:30—Burton Conner

S’mores and tents on Briggs field... we’re going camping and there aren’t even mosquitoes!

00:30—EAsT camPUS

No, you don’t live here, I’m calling the police! (Meet our east campus desk workers)

01:00

01:00—Burton Conner

Battle floating sharks and clownfish in the open skies of the Institute.

01:30—EAsT camPUS

If you abstract — whomp — (Take a late night tour of East Campus)

02:00

02:00—EAsT camPUS

Oh, I know some football, dude. (Come hang out in our courtyard)

02:15—EAsT camPUS

“Not just good. Good enough.” — Hat Mike (Learn about engineering tradeoffs in the EC Courtyard)

08:00

08:00—New House

Just waking up/heading to sleep? Craving delicious smoothies and pancakes? Not enough bacon in your diet? The awesome residents of New House will be serving up breakfast, so come get some!

08:30—Next House

Great food for a great day!

09:00

09:00—Burton Conner

You’re in college now so candy for breakfast is totally fine. We have lots of extra candy from Sugar High that we need to get rid of!

09:17—Random Hall

Pancakes: Sometimes, Random Hall wants to feed you lots and lots of mostly plain pancakes. This is not that time. Have you ever had blueberry pancakes? Chocolate chip pancakes? How about spicy cinnamon pancakes?

10:00

10:00—Senior Haus

portmantomfoolery bonanzacchanaliareyoureadyyet?

11:00

11:00—Senior Haus

That scene from Princess Diaries you’ve always wanted to reenact. With better music.

11:00—Burton Conner

Jello wrestling — it’s orange-flavored!

11:00—Simmons Hall

Capture the Flag (try not to get lost though)

11:17—Random Hall

Alice in RandomLand: Play cards, drink tea, eat sweets and enjoy yourself.

12:00

12:00—Senior Haus

Now that you went and got your hair dyed at EC and look like a jackass, cut it all off.

12:00—New House

Love reading xkcd? Read it with us and add your own color to the comics! Lots of colors!

12:10—EAsT camPUS

This is what happens when you let a mechanical engineer design wood structures. (Come hang out in our fort with us)

12:17—Random Hall

Dumpling Hylomorphism Anamorphism: the building up of a structure. Catamorphism: the consumption of a structure. Hylomorphism: both an anamorphism and a catamorphism. This event? A hylomorphism on dumplings. Come learn to make them, or just perform a metabolic reduction on food.

12:30—EAsT camPUS

Two non-alcoholic beverages, in fact. (Take a tour of our beautiful East Campus Murals)

13:00

13:00—EAsT camPUS

EAsT camPUS — FUCK YOU, YOU’RE NOT GETTING ANY MORE WOOD. (Come chop up trees in the courtyard)

13:47—Random Hall

Come Paint Things! Leave your own mark in Random Hall by painting murals with us! No artistic skill needed!

14:00

14:05—EAsT camPUS

EAsT camPUS — Kids, that’s not how you handle a situation. (Come see our project management demonstrations in the Courtyard)

15:00

15:03—EAsT camPUS

HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU (Learn how to meditate in the East Campus Courtyard)

15:27—EAsT camPUS

I’m just the one normal one here, okay? (Come get a tour of Old East Campus from resident historian Pat)

17:00

17:04—EAsT camPUS

EAsT camPUS — it activates the cannabinoid receptors (Come see our beautiful courtyard)

20:00

20:16—EAsT camPUS

“Goatmilker?!” “It’s Amy-inspired.” (Come learn the names of the residents of East Campus)

20:20—EAsT camPUS

East Campus: At least our mothers think we’re special! (Come hang out in our fort!)

21:00

21:41—EAsT camPUS

No more of these grackles. (Come do stuff in Talbot)

22:00

22:09—EAsT camPUS

BUDGET. (Come discuss rampant corruption at East Campus)

23:00

23:59—Senior Haus

ONLY LIFE CAN KILL YOU

Thursday,
August 30, 2012

13:00

13:17—Random Hall

Leftover Nitrogen: Eat our ice cream, smash our flowers...help us run through the rest of our liquid nitrogen!