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Thursday
August 26

12:00

12:00—Dormitory Council

Housing Lottery Opens—Enter at http://web.mit.edu/housing/
lottery/

Friday,
August 27

01:00

01:00—EAsT camPUS

We’ve been building all week! Come join us or feel your penis shrinking.

01:01—EAsT camPUS

When we’re not building, we’re chilling. Come chill with us, we have 4700 freezypops.

05:00

05:55—EAsT camPUS

Obviously you are not a golfer. Come play the back nine at EAsT camPUS.

14:00

14:00—EAsT camPUS

Tours: come see where James keeps his gigantic tits.

14:00—New House

New House 4: Delish Perfect Dessert: Listen to that sweet tooth of yours—now is the time for dessert!   We’ve got cupcakes, cookies, and sweet treats to meet its demands, so make sure you come on down—your tummy will be grateful.

14:00—New House

French House: Mafia: Ceci n’est pas un mafia. Or are you?

15:00

15:17—Random Hall

Truffles!—Do you want the delectable chocolate with raspberry? The boring ol’ chocolate with vanilla? Will you show your chutzpah by trying the chocolate with chipotle? How about the chocolate with death wasabi- only for the brave of heart and palate…

16:00

16:00—EAsT camPUS

Our burgers and hot dogs are not like your burgers and hot dogs. Because they are made out of Awesome. East Campus: Come for the food, stay for the awesome.

16:17—Random Hall

Munchkin—Does D&D have too much plot for you? Come play some Munchkin. All the killing and looting, none of the story or rules.

16:17—Random Hall

Nerdy Sing Along—It’s hard to overstate my satisfaction with the songs we’ve got lined up here. Truly, this event fulfilling in creative way. If you want to be first in your class here at MIT, just remember that it’s gonna be the future soon.

17:00

17:17—Random Hall

Juggling in Enclosed Spaces—What’s more fun than throwing brightly colored objects at people? Doing it at the same time as fifteen other people all packed into a small lounge. Come juggle with us! Don’t know how? We’re happy to teach you!

17:47—Random Hall

Live Action Quest—Come quest about the Duchy of Black Hole, a mysterious land populated by some strangely-dressed folks. Scavenge and hunt, talk to odd townspeople, slay the dragon, rescue the princess, and find the tasty treasure. Roleplay accordingly!

17:54—EAsT camPUS

Like Rollercoaster Tycoon, except with less Tycoons and more Rollercoasters.

18:00

18:00—Next House

Boston Walking Tours: Come along with the resident experts from Next to see the city near which you’ll be spending the next four years of your life. See the hot spots for food, fun, and entertainment… all within the limits of your little frosh feet.

18:17—Random Hall

Clamathon—Are you rad enough to complete the Shuanak challenge? How about a game of Clamball in the Clam-hall? Come prove yourself to be the best at inane games.

18:41—EAsT camPUS

Want to see some union inaction? Come see 3 guys with with power tools be watched by 30 without at EAsT camPUS.

20:00

20:00—Next House

Movie Night: Batman Begins and The Dark Knight! Come relax and celebrate the beginning of REX in front of the Next House big screen TV. Popcorn and other snacks will be provided!

20:00—Burton-Conner

Welcome to MIT! Come hang out and eat ice cream before the craziness begins. Because your existence is meaningless without ice cream

20:17—Random Hall

Roofdeck BBQ—Meat! Ribs, sausage, pulled pork and more! Come eat, talk, eat, and see the awesomeness of having a roofdeck. And eat!

20:47—Random Hall

Liquid Nitrogen Ice Cream—What does one do with twenty liters of the embodiment of REALLY BLOODY COLD? Make ice cream, of course!

21:00

21:17—Random Hall

Build-A-Bagofholding—You may not have enough time to do everything you want, but you can get enough space to hold whatever you want. Breaking the laws of physics, just for you.

21:47—Random Hall

CS ‘n’ Juice—Juice tastes better than tea. Theoretical computer science is more fun than math.

22:00

22:00—New House

New House 4: Ice Cream Social: Really don’t need much more to say than the title, but just in case you didn’t know, ice cream is awesome. Come get free ice cream. Bring friends and/or make friends.

22:47—Random Hall

Board Games—Risk? Not exactly! Come play in our Dominion of Munchkins and Betrayal, get a Ticket to Ride to your Descent, and Race for the Galaxy’s Twilight Imperium! You might even settle in Catan along the way.

23:00

23:47—Random Hall

Duct Tape Construction—Come make things out of the most awesome material know to peoplekind!

Saturday
August 28

00:00

00:11—EAsT camPUS

No, we won’t turn our music down for you. Find out why at EAsT camPUS.

01:00

01:00—EAsT camPUS

We are so chill, we’ve been sleeping in freezypops. Come eat five thousand freezypops at East Campus.

01:23—EAsT camPUS

Tired? You too can sell your soul to Monster Energy Drinks.

01:24—EAsT camPUS

It’s safe. See, we even marked it off with caution tape.

02:00

02:01—EAsT camPUS

So you’re looking for foam blocks? I have good hookup, very cheap.

03:00

03:00—EAsT camPUS

We take one thing in our creamer: non-dairy creamer… LOTS OF IT.

03:17—Random Hall

RHOP—Why would anyone be up so late? To serve you pancakes, of course!

03:33—EAsT camPUS

They’re not bombs, they’re cocktails.

03:42—EAsT camPUS

Pants suck. Just sayin’.

03:58—EAsT camPUS

We probably shouldn’t let him use that chop saw until he wakes up.

04:00

04:06—EAsT camPUS

BUILD BUILD BUILD, WHY ISN’T THIS WORKING, OH GOD NO…

08:00

08:00—Burton-Conner

Leggo my Eggo? You can keep it; we’re making fresh waffles with toppings galore

08:00—Next House

Take a Tour and Transport Your Luggage! Friendly Nexties will help you move in and show you around our awesome dorm! Even if you’re not temped here, stop by and see what Next is all about.

09:00

09:00—New House

Welcome Lounge: Stop by New House as we welcome you to MIT. We will have snacks and residents around all day so stop by and say hi!

09:17—Random Hall

Crepes!—Sweet! Crepes! Make! Eat!

10:00

10:00—Burton-Conner

Come build a water weapon for the fight on Monday! We’ve got all the supplies you need

10:00—Phoenix Group

Dorm Tours @ Outside W20 on the LaVerde’s side: A tour guide will be waiting for you at the Student Center (with a big sign that says NW35) to take you to NW35, the newest dorm.

11:00

11:00—Senior Haus

Early Morning Breakfast @ Senior Haus 1st Floor Kitchen. Eat, bitch.

11:47—Random Hall

B-7s—It’s our weekly math party: snacks and hard problems included.

12:00

12:00—New House

French House: Papier-Mâché Zoo: La Maison a besoin de quelques animaux de compagnie… help us make some.

12:00—Burton-Conner

take a tour and see what BC is all about

12:00—New House

Spanish House: Carne Asada with Familia: Come join the Spanish house family for their traditional and delicious cook-out to learn a little bit about what living in Spanish House is actually like.

12:00—New House

New House 4: Smoothies & Football: Come show what you’ve got, in the all-American game of… Football! And when you’re all worn out from playing, or just want to enjoy some downright great smoothies, stop by NH4. Don’t miss out, these smoothies really do pour out quick!

12:00—Senior Haus

Tire Swing @ Senior Haus Courtyard. There’s only one tire swing on campus. Come to senior haus to learn from the best and give blood to the tree. Also, get a tour from our lovely and exotic residents to see the hell from which none has returned the same… Tours meet every

12:00—Next House

Welcome BBQ: …And the food begins. Come join us for a delicious meal and meet the residents of Next House! We will also have frisbees and bubbles-- what more could you ask for?

12:17—Random Hall

Learn to Cook in 3 Short Steps—How to cook X: Step 1: Come to Random Hall at 12:17. Step 2: ??? Step 3: Profit! (Eat X)

12:30—Baker House

Baker House BBQ Pits (Riverside): Baker House Welcome BBQ Welcome to MIT! Come for a great BBQ and meet your new classmates while enjoying a great view of the Charles River.

13:00

13:00—Senior Haus

Graffiti @ Senior Haus Courtyard. Come be a delinquent with some of the best.

13:47—Random Hall

Silly Putty Ice Cream—What? Ice cream isn’t supposed to do that! (Warning: May contain potato.)

13:47—Random Hall

Cookies and Smut—Listen to the finest Viking romance novels and eat delicious warm chocolate chip cookies. Feel the horriblehorriblehorrible sensation of rivulets of chocolate dripping down your throat and discover Thor’s magnificent hammer!

14:00

14:00—Next House

Pies and Other Things that Fly: Kites, Frisbees and, of course, Pie! Come for kite-making, play some Ultimate, and do some ballistic physics of your own (coughPIEFIGHTcough).

14:00—Phoenix Group

Dorm Tours @ Outside W20 on the LaVerde’s side: A tour guide will be waiting for you at the Student Center (with a big sign that says NW35) to take you to NW35, the newest dorm.

14:00—EAsT camPUS

Hair Dyeing: Come dye at East Campus. We’re all dyeing here.

14:00—EAsT camPUS

To change things up, we’ve got some steak and lobster for everyone to enjoy. Really, it’s great. And free. You’ll love it. Ok, I lied. It’s burgers and hot dogs. And thrill rides and robots.

14:00—EAsT camPUS

East Campus is full of Back In The Day. We have so much history it hurts. Come discover East Campus with us.

14:00—Senior Haus

Mask making @ Senior Haus Lobby. Make your new face, one befitting a wanderer of the night

14:17—Random Hall

Pillowdome—Two men with pillows enter! One man with a pillow leaves! Two men with pillows enter! One man with a pillow leaves!

14:47—Random Hall

CHEESE—Swiss Cheddar Brie Cottage Parmigiano Reggiano Gouda Chevre Camembert Provolone Ricotta Colby Jack Pepper Jack Monterey Jack Mozzarella Muenster Blue Havarti Limburger Feta.

15:00

15:00—Burton-Conner

This is a *real* BBQ. We’re talkin’ chicken n’ ribs smothered in sauce, grilled by genuine southerners. Help yourself to potato salad and cornbread, wash it all down with sweet tea or lemonade. Y’all come back now, y’hear?

15:00—New House

Spanish House Game Night: Come have fun with La Casa and play poker, loteria, twister, sing karaoke, soccer, and spanish scrabble and have a Fiesta.

15:00—Senior Haus

Orgy @ Senior Haus Room 443. Vicious. Delicious. Tastes just like chicken.

15:15—EAsT camPUS

If you’re gonna drill that hard, you gotta use protection.

15:17—Random Hall

Storytime with Cruft—Cruft: (n) junk, detritus, old computers, and MIT alumni. Bask in the glory of our venerable old fogies and learn about the good old days. (Warning: “stay off my lawn”)

15:30—Senior Haus

Book Club with Hunter S. Thompson @ Senior Haus Lobby. Meet the famous author and gonzo journalist who inspired “Sport Death.”

16:00

16:00—Phoenix Group

Ultimate Frisbee and Soccer @ NW35 Courtyard: Help our IM Ultimate and Soccer teams hone their skillz! All skill levels welcome.

16:00—New House

French House: Cooking: Faites bouillir, coupez, faites sauter, and immersion blend with us!

16:00—Senior Haus

Haircuts @ Senior Haus Lobby. Now that you’ve had your hair dyed and look like a jackass, let us cut it all off.

16:17—Random Hall

Bubble Wrap Room—Spend my nights with a roll of bubble wrap. Pop, pop—hope no one sees me gettin’ freaky.

16:47—Random Hall

Mafia—Will the townspeople triumph? Or will the Mafia kill them all?

17:00

17:00—New House

German House: Homemade German House Dinner: Start eating at the dining halls in the dorms tonight and you’ll be sick of them by the time classes start. Instead, get a taste of what German House residents get all year long with a scrumptious homemade dinner.

17:00—Senior Haus

Real Texas Barbecue @ Senior Haus Courtyard. Learn how to barbecue from a real Texan. Bite down slow and let that blood sink through your teeth. Like that. Real nice and deep-like.

17:00—Simmons Hall

Have you seen the price of sushi at the student center? It’s ridiculous. Instead of paying an arm and a leg, come on over to the Simmons Country Kitchen where Master Ferro-Chef Chen teaches you the ancient oriental art of sushi wrapping.

17:00—New House

New House 4: Make your own Dumpling: Make and eat your very own dumplings! Drop by New House 4 and learn how to make tasty dumplings (a potentially essential skill once you get tired of ramen), or come to just grab some deliciousness to eat.

17:04—EAsT camPUS

Come ride the merry-go-round. We swear it it’s not a death trap. This time…

17:17—Random Hall

Wigging Out—Come see what colors look good on your head! Guaranteed to be less permanent than dye!

18:00

18:00—McCormick Hall

Come to McC for some Tropical Madness! Experience the powers of Pixar classics, delicious fruit juices, henna tattoos, and yummy finger foods, as they take you to a world that is Warm, Wet, and Wild!

18:00—Senior Haus

Dorm mailing list spamming @ Senior Haus Lobby. Be the first in your class to successfully troll all of campus! We’ll discuss what makes successful troll so successful, and how you can learn from some of the best flame wars of ALL TIME.

18:00—EAsT camPUS

Come join us in hoping Transparent Horizons rusts away before they can repaint it.

18:00—EAsT camPUS

I’m at the Soldering Seminar. I’m at the Power Tools Seminar. I’m at the Combination Soldering & Power Tools Seminar.

18:10—EAsT camPUS

I don’t know where you are right now but you could be building a blinking shrieking trinket! Come electronically worry the police at East Campus.

18:15—New House

French House: Dinner: Enjoy a delicious homemade meal chez nous! Now Zagat rated. . .

18:17—Random Hall

Boffing on the Roofdeck—Nothing says, “Hey, let’s be friends” like a foam sword to the abdomen.

18:47—Random Hall

Pixelate By Numbers Mural—Like color by numbers? LIke old video games? Like art? Like anything at all? Come help us paint a mural of pixels, color by number style!

19:00

19:00—Senior Haus

Voyage to the Playground! @ Senior Haus Lobby. Relive your childhood – selectively. Go on an adventure with some of our prettiest and most handsome residents and swing your heart out on the bestest playground around.

19:00—Dormitory Council

Come over to Macgregor Courtyard for a fun-filled night! Next, Burton-Conner, Macgregor and New will entertain you with games, food, dancing, and much more. See what the west side dorms have to offer!

19:00—MacGregor

WEST SIDE PARTY—Come over to the west side of campus for a fun-filled night! Next, Burton-Conner, Macgregor and New will entertain you with games, food, dancing, and much more. See what the west side dorms have to offer! The carnival has started and you are all invited!

19:17—Random Hall

nth annual BEEFoff—Many will enter, but just one will have the glory of victory. Eat BEEF and decide which dish will take home the prize.

20:00

20:00—Senior Haus

Last minute mask making @ Senior Haus Lobby. Wait, you still haven’t made your mask!? Hurry, loser: there isn’t much time left before it will be vital. AKA, we’re releasing the Lamesaur from the basement, and he will eat all who are lame enough to resist the fearsome po

20:17—Random Hall

Chainmail—Learn to weave metal into chains and fabrics! Make armor worthy of the thirteenth century! Also suitable for badass jewelry.

21:00

21:00—Simmons Hall

Have you ever experienced the epic cinematic experience offered by the Simmons MPR? You know, TEN foot screen and Bose SURROUND sound and all? No? NBD. Come and enjoy a movie marathon like no other at MIT.

21:00—Senior Haus

That thing with the masks; BE HERE @ Senior Haus Lobby. Whether you came with a purpose or you’re here by accident, you’re now a part of the struggle bus.

21:17—Random Hall

Pass the Chicken—OVER HERE! PASS THE CHICKEN! (Warning: No chickens were harmed in making of this event)

21:47—Random Hall

Tea ‘n’ Math—Featuring all that is good in life: tea, cookies, and awesome math.

22:00

22:00—Baker House

Baker House Rooftop: Baker House presents FLOW Cap off the evening and your first day of college by relaxing at our rooftop lounge with a great view of the Boston skyline. Hang out under the night sky with your new classmates. There will be ice cold drinks and a live DJ.

22:00—Senior Haus

Coffee and Cigarettes @ Senior Haus Courtyard. Come drink coffee and smoke cigarettes (18+) with senior haus’ most “delightful” people, while watching the Jim Jarmusch film of the same name. A senior haus tradition.

22:47—Random Hall

Revenge of the Board Games—Didn’t get enough the first time? Come for a second round of our favorite board games… or come join us for the first time!

23:00

23:00—MacGregor

MacGregor Post-Party—The West Side Block Party may be over, but the night is still young! Stop by MacGregor and continue the party on the dance floor with our live DJs and music. Or stick around and relax out in the courtyard, where there will be entertainment and refreshments.

23:00—New House

French House: Nomuments: Dreamed of eating l’arc de triomphe? Construct an edible French monument et puis mange ton chef d’ouvre.

23:00—Senior Haus

S’mores @ Senior Haus Courtyard. Come put our gooey-liciousness in your mouth. Bite down… hard. White, brown, crispy black: we’re all equal-opportunity mouths here.

23:00—New House

New House 2: Comedy Night: Overwhelmed with all the events of Orientation? What better way to relax than laughing with the family of House 2? Of course they’ll be good eats for all!

23:00—Phoenix Group

Arrested Development Marathon @ NW35 1st Floor Lounge: Hey hermanos… so while we’re waiting for the movie to be produced (Come on!) might as well kick back and relive one of the greatest shows to ever grace TV. Refreshments will be provided. dot com.

23:30—Burton-Conner

Pixar movie marathon in Burton-Conner! We have a popcorn machine

Sunday
August 29

00:00

00:00—Senior Haus

Go Satanic @ Senior Haus Courtyard. Your all-expenses paid vacation package to hell comes with goat blood and eternal damnation. Bring your own demons.

00:00—Burton-Conner

The water war prep continues! We’ll be using our power tools allll night long (giggity)

00:04—EAsT camPUS

We’ve got the steepest wooden roller coaster in the world! Don’t believe us? Come feel your eyeballs pop out at EAsT camPUS.

01:00

01:00—Senior Haus

Go Office Space on our shit @ Senior Haus Courtyard. Who needs anger management?

02:00

02:21—EAsT camPUS

You know you’re doing it right when you have more power tools than workers on the scene.

03:00

03:17—Random Hall

RHOP—Everything is more interesting in the early hours of the morn. Even pancakes.

04:00

04:00—EAsT camPUS

Missed out on the Dust Bowl? Come live out the good ol’ times at the EAsT camPUS courtyard.

05:00

05:32—EAsT camPUS

Our Romain is not vegetarian. Come taste our Romain at EAsT camPUS.

05:55—EAsT camPUS

Does anyone else hear the Mario theme? No? I guess I’ve just been awake too long.

08:00

08:00—Burton-Conner

BAAACON!!! Bacon Bacon Bacon BAAACON!!! And eggs… and toast and stuff too, but we know why you’re really here (bacon!)

08:00—Next House

OJ and Muffins: Start your day off right with some breakfast right in your friendly Next House Lounge.

08:30—New House

Breakfast: Smoothies and Cereal: Come join New House for homemade smoothies and cereal classics!

09:00

09:17—Random Hall

Breakfast at Tiffany’s—Tiffany&Co like making food. You like eating food. What could be better? (Classy little black dresses and pearls not required.)

10:00

10:00—Phoenix Group

Dorm Tours @ Outside W20 on the LaVerde’s side: A tour guide will be waiting for you at the Student Center (with a big sign that says NW35) to take you to NW35, the newest dorm.

12:00

12:30—Dormitory Council

Housemaster Brunches: Head back to your individual resident halls to take part in this wonderful and MANDATORY opportunity to meet your Housemasters and GRT’s, learn about house government, and hear some rules.

16:00

16:00—Senior Haus

Mad Hatter tea party @ Senior Haus Lobby. Tea and Crumpets and Mad Hatters. Celebrate the Joi De Vivre that MIT causes. How far down the rabbit hole are you willing to go?

16:00—Baker House

In Front of Baker House: Ice Cream & Tours of Baker House Interested in moving to Baker House? Come by for a tour of Baker House, and we’ll show you our rooms, gym, dining hall and more. We’ll also be handing out lots of free ice cream.

16:00—EAsT camPUS

Food. What do you mean the coaster’s not done yet?!

16:00—EAsT camPUS

Hair dye: it’s like mosquito repellent, but for helicopter parents.

16:00—New House

Taste of New House and Tours: Come get a taste of New House and learn about the different houses. Enjoy various different cuisines and take tours lead by house residents.

16:00—Next House

Tie Dye and Free Love: Get into the psychedelic spirit by making your own tie dyed apparel. Enjoy smoothies and lots of love from enthusiastic-but-not-dangerous Nexties.

16:08—EAsT camPUS

Stick our meat in your mouth. We promise you’ll like it.

16:13—EAsT camPUS

Fred’s Theorem: a monkey with power tools and an infinite supply of lumber will eventually produce all possible roller coasters.

16:17—Random Hall

Chess is a fun game when played with shotguns—Now with 30% more queens!

16:17—Random Hall

Afternoon Tea—Come have a lovely afternoon tea with the Mad Hatter and the March Hare! Enjoy some light hor d’oeuvres and tea, and don’t forget to bring a hat. If you do, newspaper will have to suffice. As always, stuffed animals are welcome.

16:20—EAsT camPUS

We’re not sure why we’re so obsessed with freezy pops. Oh, that’s right, they’re delicious. Come suck on our pops at EAsT camPUS.

16:20—EAsT camPUS

Rollercoasters: How The Fuck Do They Work?!

16:30—Phoenix Group

Dorm Tours @ Outside W20 on the LaVerde’s side: A tour guide will be waiting for you at the Student Center (with a big sign that says NW35) to take you to NW35, the newest dorm.

16:30—McCormick Hall

Come to McC courtyard for Tie-Dye as you’ve never seen it before! Bold dyes and bright fabric markers are at your disposal when you decide how to embellish neat pillowcase keepsakes.

17:00

17:00—Simmons Hall

Ever seen that movie “Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs?” Well it’s going to be like that in the Infamous Simmons Ball-pit of Awesomeness. Come and relieve some stress after that Math Diagnostics test by smacking your friends in the face with plastic balls!

17:00—MacGregor

Pasta & Salad Dinner at MacGregor—Craving some Italian food? Well come over and half all the pasta you can eat!

17:00—Burton-Conner

It’s not delivery, it’s delicious! Come make your favorite pizza from scratch with our resident chefs

17:00—Senior Haus

Go the Garment District with Uncle Pevner @ Senior Haus Courtyard. Go on a field trip with Uncle Pevner to the Garment District. At this used-clothing store, you can buy a pound of clothes for just $1.50. Plus, you can silkscreen stuff with us later.

17:17—Random Hall

ntris Friends—Tetris is trivial. Come play ntris and hit your opponent in the face with a giant nonomino.

17:45—EAsT camPUS

Fuck (Batman), get wood at EAsT camPUS.

18:00

18:00—Senior Haus

Church @ Senior Haus Lobby. Do you know the weight of bearing the cross? You can, when you dress up like Jesus at the Senior Haus lobby! Stayed up too late partying with Satan? Some of Senior Haus’ most bestest ministers will help heal your wretched soul.

18:17—Random Hall

Rocky Horrible’s Sing-Back Blog—Have beloved memories of Dr. Horrible? Not after this event, you won’t. Come as we find the worst things possible to yell at poor NPH.

19:00

19:00—New House

New House 5: Trashy Food and Trashy TV: We will be watching crappy MTV television like “The Jersey Shore” and “The Rock of Love.”  There will be food like chips ahoy and Pepsi, which make a surprisingly good combo.  Really the food won’t be that trashy, but I’ll try

19:00—EAsT camPUS

Today is a good day to die at EAsT camPUS. We who are about to ride the coaster salute you.

19:00—Burton-Conner

Even More Water War Prep! In case you haven’t figured it out yet, this event is 24/7. We just like to remind you every once in a while.

19:00—EAsT camPUS

Gabe: He’ll machine what you need, if you know what I mean.

19:00—Senior Haus

Silk screening/t-shirt destruction @ Senior Haus Lobby. Those t-shirts you just picked up? It’s time to make them yours/awesome.

19:17—Random Hall

Randomized Algorithms—If you’ve ever wished randomized incremental constructions weren’t just for computers, join us in Pecker lounge and learn precisely how much slower a chalkboard is than a modern CPU.

20:00

20:00—Next House

Game Night: Get your game face on and drop by Next House for the old-school board and the latest video! Snacks provided.

20:17—Random Hall

Pants Pants Revolution—Like Dance Dance Revolution, but every time you win, you put on another pair of pants.

20:30—MacGregor

Like playing board games? How about video games? Then come to the MacGregor Rec Room for Games Night, where there will be tons of entertainment and boatloads of food!

20:31—EAsT camPUS

Come experience the physical by-products of our sleep deprived hallucinations.

21:00

21:00—Dormitory Council

Come to YYZ in the EC Courtyard, where bouncy balls rain in thousands from the sky. Ride the rides, scream down the roller coaster and wrestle in things never before wrestled in. Dance in the smoke, lights, and the thumping dreamscape of an unstoppable party.

21:00—Burton-Conner

Capture the Flag! We’re in your base, capturing your flag. Meet at BC desk and we’ll head out from there.

21:00—Senior Haus

BOUNCY BALL DROP (!!!) @ SENIOR HAUS COURTYARD. Now with THREE times the bouncy balls. Thousands of balls! Millions of balls! –32768 balls! Have you experienced a hailstorm of this magnitude? A shower from the heavens of such fortitude? At this latitude? I didn’t think so

21:00—EAsT camPUS

Come to the YYZ party, taste the sweet nectar of freedom! Freedom while stocks last. Heh heh, we NEVER run out of freedom.

21:00—New House

New House 3: Board Game Night: From 3D Twister to Settlers of Catan to Go Fish and Apples to Apples, join New House 3 for a night of our favorite board games and late night snacks.

21:00—New House

German House: “House MD” Marathon: Come scarf down a ton of popcorn and caffeinated beverages to watch your favorite Vicodin addict save lives with his witty insults until you just can’t take it anymore. You know he’s your hero. Stop denying it. And put down that Vicodin

21:01—EAsT camPUS

Who needs acrobats when you can hang over a 20 foot drop in order to drill a hole in a 4x4?

21:17—Random Hall

Physics ‘n’ Coffee—Like tea ‘n’ math, but with more caffeine and slightly more basis in reality (but only slightly).

21:30—EAsT camPUS

It looks like crude oil but it won’t break your vagina. Come wrestle in vagina-safe substances at East Campus.

22:00

22:00—Simmons Hall

Come to the Simmons Game Area for some intense ping pong action, intense skee ball action, intense DDR action, not-so-intense board game action, or EXTREME AWESOME Build-your-own-Simmons-from-Graham-cracker-ACTION!!!111! (Yes you can eat said graham crackers if so desired.)

22:00—EAsT camPUS

Tshen2 once tried to party on both sides of campus at the SAME TIME. It was a terrible mistake. Come learn from terrible mistakes at East Campus.

22:30—New House

New House 2: Boondocks Mini-Marathon: Food? Boondocks? House 2? Sunday just got 10 times better!

23:00

23:00—Phoenix Group

Futurama Marathon @ NW35 1st Floor Lounge: Good news, everyone! Your favorite TV show is BACK, no thanks to the fine gentlemen at FOX. So join us in watching the latest episodes! Refreshments will be provided. WOOB-WOOB-WOOB-WOOB-WOOB-WOOB-WOOB-WOOB!

23:00—Senior Haus

Avant-garde band practice @ Senior Haus Music Room (Basement). Come be avant-garde with us. What, you say that I’m not playing any notes? That my amplifier is just making white noise? You’re not avant-garde enough.

23:24—EAsT camPUS

When our new assistant housemaster has designed and built rollercoasters for a living, you know we’re going to do something awesome

Monday
August 30

00:00

00:00—Senior Haus

Midnight tire swinging @ Senior Haus Courtyard. It’s more fun in the dark.

00:00—Next House

PJ Movie Night: Popcorn, s’mores and good movie… sounds like the perfect way to round off your first day as MIT students. Come see IRON MAN!

00:00—Burton-Conner

James Bond Movie Marathon. The name’s Conner. Burton-Conner. Formal attire encouraged.

01:00

01:00—EAsT camPUS

The party’s over and all these rides are still up, what are you waiting for! Remember: caution tape repels freshmen.

01:17—Random Hall

Sleepers Anonymous—Sleep is an addiction. The first step towards overcoming your addiction is admitting you have a problem. Sleepers Anonymous is a support group formed to help people like you overcome this addiction. Come, and we will all fight it together.

01:43—EAsT camPUS

Where the best flowers only grow at night. Come find out how to garden at EAsT camPUS.

04:00

04:00—Senior Haus

Was something going on now? @ Senior Haus Lobby. Zzzzzzzzz.

07:00

07:00—Next House

Woeful Waffles: Ease the pain of an early Monday morning (and looming ASEs) with freshly-made waffles and other breakfast-like foods in our dining hall.

08:00

08:00—Burton-Conner

Breakfast Time! OM NOM NOM!

08:17—Random Hall

More Breakfast Than YOUR BODY HAS ROOM FOR!!!—Oh no! The Giant Egg Monster is attacking the city! What will we do?

08:18—Random Hall

Wait, what’s that?

08:19—Random Hall

IT’S A CRACK! WE CAN’T REPEL OMELETTES OF THAT MAGNITUDE!

09:00

09:00—New House

Breakfast: Waffles and Pancakes: Come join New House for all varieties homemade pancakes and waffles complete with whipped cream to top it off!

10:00

10:00—Burton-Conner

ONLY EIGHT HOURS TILL WATER WAR! GO! GO! GO!

10:00—Next House

Boston Walking Tours: Come along with the resident experts from Next to see the city near which you’ll be spending the next four years of your life. See the hot spots for food, fun, and entertainment… all within the limits of your little frosh feet.

11:00

11:00—MacGregor

Brunch @ MacGregor Come down to the MacGregor dining room for brunch and socialize with our residents! Enjoy pancakes, syrup, eggs, bacon, sausages, juice, fruit, and more food than you can eat!

11:17—Random Hall

Settlers of Catan (Almost) Life-sized—Come play a Random Hall favorite board game, now in epic proportions.

11:30—Phoenix Group

Dorm Tours @ Outside W20 on the LaVerde’s side: A tour guide will be waiting for you at the student center (with a big sign that says NW35) to take you to NW35, the newest dorm.

12:00

12:00—New House

Tie Dying: Want to spice up your wardrobe? Join New House for tie dying. We will provide t-shirts and socks or bring your own clothing and add a bit of color!

12:00—Simmons Hall

Hungry after the brutal math/physics ASE? Or have you not taken them yet? Either way, come to Simmons and enjoys pans upon pans of delizioso pizza π. As my Italian amico use to say, “Chi tardi arriva, male alloggia.” So be on time… or be hungry.

12:00—Senior Haus

Niece Jemima and Tire Swinging @ Senior Haus. Listen. Listen. Listen. LISTEN! Come get scolded, and cook. Then EAT FOR FREE. Learn from the tire swing experts in the courtyard.

12:17—Random Hall

Dumpling Hylomorphism—Anamorphism: the building up of a structure. Catamorphism: the consumption of a structure. Hylomorphism: both an anamorphism and a catamorphism. This event? A hylomorphism on dumplings. Come perform a metabolic reduction on food.

12:30—Senior Haus

Haus tours @ Senior Haus lobby. Come see our pussies! If you’re lucky, you can touch one.

12:47—Random Hall

Deep Fried Liquid Nitrogen Ice Cream—Some like it hot, some like it sub-zero. Why not have both at once?

13:00

13:00—Senior Haus

Alternative Sex Seminar @ Senior Haus Lobby. The official “Sex Signals” event doesn’t look too enthralling? Curious about being gay at MIT? Wanna know the best way to tie someone to an Institute bed? Wanna know where to buy latex clothing in Cambridge and Boston? Solid ad

13:00—McCormick Hall

Come indulge in ice cream floats at our Karaoke and board game extravaganza in the West McC Penthouse!

13:47—Random Hall

Dungeons and Dragons—A whimsical journey full of fun, magic and adventure awaits! Also, killing things and looting their stuff.

14:00

14:00—New House

French House: Pâtisserie and Tea: Turn dough into pastry! Yes, you! Avec du thé, bien sûr!

14:00—EAsT camPUS

I made a bad decision about changing my hair color! I made a bad decision about not changing my hair color! Come fix your bad decisions at East Campus.

14:00—Senior Haus

Moar Hair Cuts @ Senior Haus Lobby. Maybe your back could use a shave? You don’t look quite enough like Feldmeier yet. Let’s change that.

14:00—EAsT camPUS

We bought pre-delicious edibles, come cook something awesome and we’ll give you a prize. We’re not even kidding! P.S: Our concept of awesome may be dangerously flawed.

14:00—Next House

Back to Kindergarten!: As you get ready to start college, you’ll find that the experience is startlingly similar to another, long-ago first day of school… so come join us for snacktime, fingerpainting, and naptime ;) -- all the great things about being 5 all over again!

14:17—Random Hall

Electronics Dissection—Come join us at Random Hall for an electrifying experience! Take apart a blender, make yourself some capacitor earrings, play a little game of electronics jenga, and plot how to take over the world with electronics!

15:00

15:00—Burton-Conner

Clog your arteries with your favorite delicacies: chicken tenders, corndogs, fries, and onion rings! Experiments welcome.

15:00—Simmons Hall

What kind of intriguing mysteries lie within that huge strange waffle-like building next to the football field?” Time to find out by joining us for Simmons Tour! . Tours depart every 30 minutes on the hour and ½ hour. (No waffles will be provided, unfortunately.)

15:00—Senior Haus

Graffiti and courtyard chalk @ Senior Haus Courtyard. The more offensive it is, the faster it will rain.

15:30—Burton-Conner

JELLO WRESTLING AND SLIP N’ SLIDE! You know you want to!

15:47—Random Hall

Mexican Roulette—Tons of quesadillas. Some of them are obscenely spicy. Feeling lucky? Mexican roulette is not the same without a gun.

15:47—Random Hall

Minihunt—Can’t wait for Mystery Hunt? Come solve some puzzles and eat some healthy brain food!

16:00

16:00—Senior Haus

Water war preparation @ Senior Haus Courtyard. These condoms won’t fill themselves! Well…

16:00—New House

French House: Cooking: Faites bouillir, coupez, faites sauter, and immersion blend with us!

16:30—MacGregor

Ice Cream Social @ MacGregor = Hot summer heat got you down? Stop by MacGregor and grab some ice cream and learn more about our dorm! Cones, cups, and delicious toppings galore!

16:45—EAsT camPUS

WATER WAR REAL SOON NOW. Come help us load our weapons. Land Kayak. Land Viking boat. An Unspeakable Monstrosity. Wear the Caution Tape with pride. Get dressed for EPIC BATTLE.

16:47—Random Hall

Awesome AMVs—Like anything else, 90% of all AMVs are crap. Come see the best of the best.

17:00

17:00—Next House

Water War Preparations: Come help your fellow West-campus-ers to prepare for battle on Kresge Oval. Fight valiantly, brave water warriors!!!!

17:00—EAsT camPUS

We have always been at war with West Campus. If you love Big Brother, you will help prepare ammunition.

17:30—Burton-Conner

The water war approaches! Don your swimsuit and gather your allies; we depart BC at 5:45pm

17:30—EAsT camPUS

In 30 minutes we unveil our Real Ultimate Power! It flips out and kills people. It may be bazongas.

17:45—Burton-Conner

We’re marching from outside BC to Kresge Oval. Fall in, soldier!

17:45—EAsT camPUS

Computer, set all engines to Belligerent.

18:00

18:00—EAsT camPUS

WATER WAR! Come fight with us if you love freedom.

18:00—Dormitory Council

Visit your dorm, or any dorm you pledge your loyalty to around 5:30. Take your place among fellow residents in the march to the final face off on Kresge Oval at 6 on the dot -where the East Side meets the West side. If you’re late, just come on over to join in on the fun!

18:00—Senior Haus

WARWARWAR @ Senior Haus Courtyard. This is our place. This is our time.

18:00—Burton-Conner

WATER WAAAAAAAR!! (You don’t want to miss this event!)

18:15—New House

French House: Dinner: Enjoy a delicious homemade meal chez nous! Over 1 million served!

18:30—MacGregor

Barbeque & Pig Roast Luau—It’s big and it’s at MacGregor—stop by the pits to enjoy some fresh grill food with some island flavor! Stick around to relax with our wonderful residents in the courtyard and enjoy the delicious food and music! And yes, there will be a pig on

19:00

19:00—Senior Haus

Barbecuing and tire swinging @ Senior Haus Courtyard. Come dry off in the sunny* Senior Haus courtyard while enjoying barbecue and fucking shit up with a conical pendulum. *Actually black, like our souls.

19:00—Burton-Conner

Tonight! We dine in Porter! Just kidding -- the war’s over. Come relax and eat some good home-cooking at Burton-Conner

19:17—Random Hall

Gluck. Are you DOWN for 4-deck speed solitaire? GLUCK!

19:17—Random Hall

The Bacon Conjecture—Thm: Everything is better with bacon. Proof: Come to this event. QED.

19:30—Phoenix Group

Capture-the-Flag Pillowfight @ NW35 Courtyard: ‘cause regular CTF just isn’t extreme enough.

20:00

20:00—New House

New House 3: Atypical Animation: Join New House 3 as we watch some of our favorite non-typical animated films.  Move beyond Disney and watch a Castle, some Triplets, and the most fun we could find on DVD.

20:00—New House

New House 4: Fashion Show: Featuring fashion designer Amanda Antunes’ latest collection, a can’t miss opportunity. There will also be hors d’oeuvres (a.k.a. food) and a special meet and greet from Amanda Antunes herself. A definite event for everyone to see and to be seen

20:00—Next House

House of Cards: Ever wanted to show off your skills to match the MIT Blackjack Team? Now’s your chance, with poker, blackjack and other card games. Chocolate fondue and desserts fill out the evening’s program.

20:17—Random Hall

Sweet Rave Party—Rejoice in the Revelry of the Random Rush Rave! Rock out Really Radically!

20:17—Dormitory Council

Random Hall Sweet Rave Party: Random Hall: Rejoice in the Revelry of the Random Rush Rave! Rock out Really Radically!

21:00

21:00—New House

New House 5: Shirtless Bathroom Tea: I will make tea and we will sip tea together in teh bathroom and talk and stuff.  You can wear a shirt if you want.  You don’t even have to drink tea in the bathroom I guess.  We might have food I’m not really sure though.  Also, te

21:00—New House

New House 2: Spades Tournament: We’ve got the cards and the food, you bring your best game.

21:00—Simmons Hall

Pre-Skyline Party. Come gather with friends, or meet new people to party with before you head out to Baker! Get pumped up with music, specialty drinks, and mouthwatering snacks!

21:00—Burton-Conner

Crab Soccer! Re-live the carefree days of elementary school P.E!

21:00—New House

French House: Games Night: Poker, Settlers, Bananagrams, Set, Tiddlywinks… .

21:17—Random Hall

Hair Dyeing—U NEED MOAR RAINBOW IN UR HAIRZ! FIX IT!!

21:30—Senior Haus

Coffee and cultural discussion @ Senior Haus Suite 462. We’re not going to try to define what cultural encompasses, but no matter what spot-on/batshit-crazy belief you hold, you’re sure to find someone here who takes issue or agreement. Coffee and politics? Coffee and phys

22:00

22:00—New House

German House: “Team Awesome” Competition: Bring your friends and settle the score competing in various challenges to find out who is truly deserving of the name Team Awesome! Categories include a photo scavenger hunt, an outdoor game, and a Lego-building round.

22:00—Dormitory Council

Come dive into orientation with the hottest party of the night at Baker House! Featuring a dance floor, live DJs spinning today’s hottest beats, and refreshments! Party with your fellow freshmen, Baker and Simmons residents and the ladies of McCormick.

22:00—Random Hall

Not the Start of Our Party—The Hitchhiker’s Guide says our party is just starting now? But we’ve been rocking out for hours!

22:00—New House

French House: Cookies, Smoothies, and Milkshakes: Charles de Gaulle’s favorite cookie was the snickerdoodle. Come eat your favorite.

22:17—Random Hall

Even More Liquid Nitrogen Ice Cream—If you think that other stuff was cold…

23:00

23:00—Phoenix Group

Big Bang Theory Marathon @ NW35 1st Floor Lounge: Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries, that all started with the big bang! Join us in watching one of the funniest and wittiest shows currently airing on television. Refreshments will be provided.

23:17—Random Hall

Caffeine Refueling Station-Sleep? What’s sleep? You’ve got four years at MIT to sleep. Come get something to keep the magic going.

23:47—Random Hall

Movies on the Roofdeck—Join us the for a skyline view of Cambridge and some movies! Now showing “The Dark Knight,” “Grandma’s Boy,” and a mystery third feature!

Tuesday
August 31

00:00

00:00—Burton-Conner

Come get ferschniken off popcorn and soda while we watch Blazing Saddles, Robin Hood: Men in Tights, Spaceballs, and The Producers

00:00—Next House

Make Your Own Pizza: Learn to fight off those midnight hunger pangs with the most complete food group… pizza! Bring Your Own Appetite.

03:00

03:17—Random Hall

RHOP-Breakfast at 4 AM. Question is, is it really early or really late?

08:00

08:00—Next House

Weary Waffles: Tired of REX yet? If not, come to Next Dining and grab some breakfast before another busy day-- more fresh waffles will be provided!

08:30—Phoenix Group

Breakfast with Really Awesome Juice (tm) and other deliciousness @ NW35 2nd Floor Lounge: Pretty self-explanatory.

08:30—McCormick Hall

Enjoy a hearty breakfast in the McC country kitchen, before heading off to participate in today’s Institute-wide events.

09:00

09:00—New House

Breakfast: American Style: Come join New House for an American style breakfast complete with scrambled eggs, hash browns and sausage!

09:00—Burton-Conner

Breakfast! That’s pretty much all you need to know.

10:00

10:00—Next House

Memorial Drive Marathon: Everyone knows that Next House is one of the farthest dorms from campus… learn how to make the trek FUN! Bring a few friends or spontaneously aggregate into teams for a Dorm Row scavenger hunt! As always, refreshments will be present.

11:00

11:00—New House

German House: Apples to Apples: Just a fun, relaxed round of Apples to Apples for you and your newfound REX friends. Some lunch food available.

11:17—Random Hall

Legos-Come relive your childhood as you build legos together… oh wait did i say relive your childhood cuz i actually meant BE AWESOME

12:00

12:00—Burton-Conner

It’s a Jam Session in BC! Get your groove on with some of our resident musicians

12:00—Senior Haus

BACONBACONBACONBACONBACONBACONBACONBACON @ Senior Haus 1st Floor Kitchen. baconbaconbaconbaconbaconbaconbaconbaconbaconbacon

12:17—Random Hall

Paint the Ceiling- Come leave a mark on Random’s ceiling, or go nuts and cover it all. Lay down some paint that will still be here for the class of 2040 to see.

12:17—Random Hall

Squick Squick Squick-squick, squick squick… ”HOOOOOM!” Want to hear some slash that will screw with your brain? You’ll never look at Legolas the same way again…

13:00

13:00—Senior Haus

Haus tours @ Senior Haus Lobby. Come to Senior Haus! Make your parents nervous!

13:17—Random Hall

Last Meal Buffet- The Texas department of Corrections lists the last meals of the inmates it executed from 2003 back. Come find out what you would eat if you were about to die (and then eat it!).

14:00

14:00—Phoenix Group

Science Jeopardy! @ NW35 2nd Floor Lounge: What is the science geek’s favorite game show? Join us for an exciting, brain exhausting and challenging game of Jeopardy! with a twist.

14:00—Burton-Conner

Free Burgers and Hot-dogs, good music, and good company. You know the drill

14:00—Senior Haus

Story time @ Senior Haus Lobby. Listen to current residents and crufty alums tell tall tales of their times at the haus. Includes such classics as “This one time we taped pubes to that girl’s door” and “Remember that time we colored for KenKen?”

14:17—Random Hall

3D Twister-We wanted to do it in 4D, but the Transdimensional Building Committee wouldn’t approve. 3 boards, 3 Dimensions, 5242880 more ways to get tangled up.

15:00

15:00—Senior Haus

Sport Death @ Senior Haus. Only life can kill you.

15:17—Random Hall

Random: The Gathering-Ever wanted to cast Global Thermonuclear Warfare? The Wizards of the Dorm have conjured a special edition cardset of Magic: The Gathering—so now you can.

15:59—EAsT camPUS

HURRY UP AND ENTER THE HOUSING LOTTERY SO WE DON’T HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOU WHINE LATER

16:00

16:00—Dormitory Council

The housing adjustment lottery closes at 4pm. Be sure to get your forms submitted online!

22:00

22:30—Burton-Conner

Dance Party in Porter! REX may be over, but the party is just getting started

23:00

23:00—Baker House

Ice Cream!: Just getting out of the event at the Student Center and going back to your dorm? Grab some ice cream at Baker House before you head back.

Wednesday
September 1

17:00

17:00—New House

New House 5: Starcraft and Stuff: Some guys like sc2.  Come play with them and learn a little bit about new house 5.  I think its like a tradition or somethin that we play starcraft.  I don’t really get it but you can come and play.  Anyone of any skill level can come,

17:00—MacGregor

Fondue @ MacGregor: Lottery choices may be in, but that doesn’t mean REX is over! Come to MacGregor for delicious fondue, cookies, and fruit!

18:00

18:00—Dormitory Council

Housing Lottery Results Released! Check the lottery website for your new dorm assignment!

19:00

19:00—Dormitory Council

Report to your final dorm assignment for in-house room assignments. Many dorms have very specific activities for rooming, so be sure to show up!

Thursday,
September 2

09:00

09:00—Dormitory Council

If you’re moving out of your dorm you MUST check out of your old room and into your new room. Vans and transportation will be provided to help you move. More information will be available to you via email the night before.

14:00

14:00—MacGregor

MacGregor Grill-Out: Move-in day is never fun, so come down to the MacGregor pits and enjoy some fresh burgers and hot dogs! Upperclassmen MacGregor residents will be around so you can come mingle and get to know us! Welcome to the dorm!