Years ago, the fuss was over fellatio; nowadays, it’s everywhere. In a story on Duke University, Rolling Stone said, “oral sex [is] nearly ubiquitous, regarded as sort of a form of elaborate kissing that doesn’t really mean very much.” Likening oral sex to elaborate kissing might be extreme, but it isn’t extreme to say that oral sex has become a widely accepted practice.
Is anal sex next? Sex columnist Dan Savage has proclaimed that “anal is the new oral.” But some people are still repulsed at the very idea of it. The most common objection is: “But I poop from there!” (Yeah, well, mouths and vaginas aren’t exactly the cleanest things in the world either.) Poop tends to be higher up in the rectum than one might expect, and so long as one doesn’t need to shit before having anal sex, it’s nowhere near as messy as some people claim. One shouldn’t even need to use an enema or other laxative.
Then there’s the debate over whether or not anal sex is even enjoyable for women. While women do not have prostate glands like men, anal sex can still be enjoyable due to the nerve endings and stimulation of the g-spot from behind. Unpleasant experiences are usually just the result of poor technique or a lack of preparation. Unlike vaginas, butts are not capable of lubricating. Not only should one use lubricant, but it’s also good to consider the usage of other aids like butt plugs or anal beads, which are a great warm-up for those self-conscious of their butts. In my opinion, they’re best used during sex, and they cause quite the sensation when pulled out during climaxing.
Anal sex is enjoyable for guys because of the aforementioned prostate gland. However, some argue that pegging (a guy being penetrated by a woman with a strap-on dildo) is emasculating, even to the point of suggesting homosexuality. I have gay friends who prefer oral over anal, and the suggestion of some deeper implication of enjoying anal stimulation is ignorant, at best.
When I saw that The Tech was asking for virginity stories, I realized that my first sexual experience wasn’t worth recounting. My virginity story can be best described as “disappointing,” and putting virginity on a pedestal usually leads to this disappointment. My first time wasn’t anything magical. But my first anal time was.
I didn’t lose my anal virginity until years after I first had sex. It was a mix of passion, pleasure, and a dash of pain, all combining to form the statement “Can we have a round 2?” immediately afterwards. It was what I had wanted from my first experience; I can’t do the experience justice with words.
Anal sex requires more intimacy than vaginal sex. A girl has to be able to relax and trust her partner, or else the sex is just painful. Because people think that anal sex is messy (it’s not), most partners only attempt it they comfortable with each other’s bodies. And the guy has to know what he’s doing, and to remember to use lube. Many a friend of mine has described situations where men have tried it on the first hookup, without lube. This will be a trainwreck: Always use lube! Since not everyone keeps it on them, anal sex requires a bit more planning.
I don’t always prefer anal sex to vaginal sex — the sensations are different — but at the very least it adds spice to the bedroom. Anal might never be as widely accepted as oral, but it is the one sexual act I have found that is worth the hype.