Sex is full of trial and error. No one will ever claim that the best sex they ever had was when they lost their virginity, well, unless that was the only sex they ever had. Each person is different, and it usually takes a lot of experimentation to figure out just what works. However, do we reach a point where we get too comfortable and cease to experiment?
I'm referring specifically to the notion of types — even more specifically genders. Lately, one of the top songs on iTunes is Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl," except she's publicly stated she's never even kissed a girl. How can you write about it if you've never done it? See, I've avoided the topic of experimentation for this reason — I've never tried the same gender.
However, I don't identify as purely heterosexual — I don't think anyone really does. We've all found members of the same gender attractive, it's just were told not to act on this attraction. The number one Facebook prank is to change someone's "Interested In" to the same gender. Except, is it really that funny? Honestly, it's just like the come back, "you're so gay." I thought that line was done after middle school.
Our society finds it sexy when a girl fools around with another girl, so long as she doesn't identify as purely a lesbian. Yet, if a guy fools around with another guy, he's considered gay, which is not considered "attractive." Maybe this can be justified by Darwinian principles that men just want to spread their sperm, and thus the more girls the merrier! Yet, women only have one egg — so, having multiple men isn't really going to do anything. Except, I don't want to justify this with evolution — I think it's because homophobia is ingrained from such a young age into children. Even during Sex Ed, you never heard about how to have gay sex.
Actually, Sex Ed will tell you that sex is love. Well, this might be a shock to you, but it's college. People get horny. You're not going to love everyone you sleep with, and you're not going to sleep with everyone you love. Plus, are you really going to fall in love at MIT? It seems like everyone's too damn busy relying on some sort of formula.
Love isn't about chemistry, but really math! You get A amount of points for this gender, B amount for this race, C amount for this socioeconomic background. Then, if you make it with one standard deviation, you get another function. You have to know someone for X amount of time, do Y amount of things together, and then, maybe, you can make it Facebook official.
Doesn't this all sound just a little ridiculous — relying on logic over feelings for love? What ever happened to just liking people — regardless of gender? Besides, don't we know our own gender the best when it comes to sex? Maybe. Maybe not. Since I haven't experimented, I can't say. However, I will say that by identifying as purely straight — or purely gay — you're closing off options. It's best to keep an open mind.
College is the perfect place to experiment. Conservatives will argue that it's better to identify as either straight or gay — nothing in the middle — however, it's that grey period where we really define ourselves. I'm not saying that I'm going to go out and sleep with a girl this weekend, but I'm saying if I met one that I really connected with, I wouldn't let my preconceptions control me. Sex is about experimenting, and college is the place to do it.
Curiosity killed the cat, but according to Schrödinger, the cat might already be dead.