This Thursday! A debate for the ages! Two contestants, one vice presidency! Who will earn the honor of succeeding Dick Cheney?
In the blue corner Joe “I take the train home” Biden. In the red corner Sarah “I can see Russia from my house” Palin.
Blue Team Rules
¶ For every mention of Scranton, Pennsylvania: Take a sip.
¶ When Biden begins the “I take the train home everyday story” being drinking. Don’t stop ’till he finishes.
¶ When Biden questions Palin’s inexperience: Drink something you’ve never had before
¶ When Biden makes an obvious gaffe: Spill your neighbor’s drink
¶ When Biden uses X words when Y will do: Drink X-Y seconds
¶ When Biden patronizes or self identifies with the working class: Down some brew (Bonus points if you use Miller Highlife)
¶ When Biden lambastes Washington Insiders: Make a toast to his 35 years of experience in the United States Senate
The Joe Biden checklist. If he mentions all of the following, finish your drinks: Blue Collar, Golden Parachute, Little Guy, Washington Insider, Working Class, Clean
Red Team Rules
¶ Every time Palin cites Alaska’s proximity to Russia as “foreign policy experience”: Take a shot of vodka
¶ When Palin claims she said “Thanks but no thanks” to the Bridge to Nowhere: Demand a new drink from your hosts, say “thanks but no thanks,” and then when no one’s looking, take it anyway, then claim you never wanted it.
¶ When Palin recounts putting the governor’s jet on eBay: Auction off a beer to your friends
¶ When Palin insists that governing a small town in Alaska is in fact experience: Give your friend a shot glass of beer when he/she asks for a pint and insist it’s the same thing.
¶ When Palin points out that Biden thought Obama was too inexperienced for the job: Finish your drink and say, “Oh Snap!” If you’re a democrat, follow this by crying.
¶ When Palin claims that Washington’s problems can be solved by small town know how and common sense: Drink a Labatt Blue as you read up on how to become a Canadian citizen.
¶ When Palin talks about being the most popular governor in the country: Go to a room by yourself, realize you’re the most popular person in the room, then finish your drink.
The Sarah Palin checklist. If she mentions all of the following, finish your drinks: Bush Doctrine, Snow Machine, Moose, Lipstick, Hockey Mom, Family Values